Nightingale

two

Lights.

The lights are bright I can tell but my eyes aren't open. Why aren't they open?

"How long has she been out?"

"I'm not sure I found her this way on the bathroom floor, is she going to be okay?"

I hear people talking. Is that my mom? "Mom what's going on?"

"Ma'am we will do everything we can but you can't come any further."

Why isn't she answering me? "Mom!" I scream. I feel like I'm drowning. "Mom!?" I scream again.

"Parker how could you be this stupid! Don't you die on me do you hear me! Don't you dare fucking die!" She's angry at me, what did I do this time and why won't she tell me what's going on?

"MOM!"

I open my eyes and it's dark. I can only see the ceiling of my bedroom and the faint glow of the street lights outside my bedroom window on my left.

Fuck.

I can't move. I can't breathe.

I feel buried alive. Panic. It was just a dream but it felt so real.

That's because it was real, right?

Okay Parker just relax. You're on a beach, yeah yeah a beach and the sun is nice and warm on your skin.

I start to not feel suffocated. I guess those calming techniques actually work.

The breeze smells salty just like the ocean and it feels just as warm as the sun.

Suddenly all the weight is lifted off me and I shoot up and out of bed.

A groggy Callie shoots up from a deep sleep she must have been in and with a raspy voice asks me, "Parker? You okay, what's going on?" 

What I want to say is, thanks for asking callie i'm actually fucking terrified because I just re-lived my most horrifying experience and I'm also having a fucking panic attack, oh and the cherry on fucking top I just had sleep paralysis and I haven't had that in 4 months since I started therapy again, but what I actually say that only comes out as a meer whisper is..."I'm okay."

Talking hurts. I don't want to talk, I just want to be alone. I want to beg Callie to go home and leave me but she won't because she's scared for me. It's kinda funny actually how when something is visibly wrong with you the people around you get scared, like I'm sorry but last time I checked I was the one with the problem maybe help me because I actually have a right to be scared not you. People are scared of the unknown.

"Did you have a nightmare or something?"

I don't respond with anything, just a head nod.

"I'll make you some tea okay?"

Again I just nod.

A few minutes pass and Callie comes back into my room with a cup of tea in hand and holds it out for me to grab.

"Here babes this should help." she says in a soft tone and a shy smile.

I take the cup from her hand and take a small sip and feel the hot liquid fill my mouth. I need her to do something for me but I don't know how to tell her. She could freak out and never talk to me again. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened hence why I don't open up to people anymore. That's the thing about mine and Callies friendship, she doesn't need me to open up, it's like she just knows. She does most of the talking anyways and I give her advice even if I'm not the best person to be getting advice from. This though, this will be the most open I've been with her and I'm scared.

I clear my throat a bit and take another sip of the tea before setting it down on my bedside table.

"Um, Cals." I say quietly but loud enough so she can still hear me.

"What's up?" she looks at me with a small smile, I know she can tell I was lying when I said I was okay earlier.

"I need you to do something for me, do you think you could?" I hesitantly ask.

The look on her face shifts from a smile to a puzzled look but she just nods her head to urge me to continue.

"I need you to find me a meeting." There's a long break of silence that falls between us.

"A meeting? Parker I don't think I quite understand it's 4 in the morning. What kind of meeting?" She questions.

" A narcotics anonymous meeting.." I turn my gaze away from her and look down at my feet hanging over the edge of the bed, I don't remember sitting back down. I can't look at her face.

She takes a deep breath in and simply says, "Okay" picks up her phone and walks out of my room into the living room.

Okay? That's it? I mean I knew she was an understanding person but if she told me she was a recovering drug addict I would be a little shocked. Her on the other hand had no reaction whatsoever but I'm honestly thankful for it.

Fifteen minutes go by and Callie comes back into my room fairly calm.

"Put some clothes on, I'll drive you."

I turn to look at her and quietly say "Thank you."

She gives me a small smile and pulls her jeans up her legs from the day before since she was just in a baggy sweater and underwear and chuckles. "You don't need to thank me Parker, that's what friends are for. I'll be on the couch, come out when you are ready."

I stand up and go to my dresser and grab a pair of sweatpants then head to my closet and grab a sweatshirt. I slowly throw my clothes onto my body and take the hair tie that always rests on my wrist and messily throw my hair in a pony. I'm not giving much to my appearance because it's NA no one cares what you look like. I walk back over to my closet and grab the small cloth box from the top of the shelf in there and grab a pair of socks and throw on my slides and walk out of my room.

"You ready? It's about a 15 minute drive from here." Callie states as she stands up.

"Okay."

We walk out the front door and Callie locks the door with my keys. She must have grabbed them on the way out.

We get into her car and the cold cloth of her seats seeps through my baggy sweatpants, she pulls out of my parking lot then says to me, "You know I'm not going to judge you for this right? And if you want we can act like this never happened." 

I let out a small laugh and shake my head, turn on the radio and the songs that's on perfect fits tonight.

Panic room.

-AUTHORS NOTE-

So how are we feeling about to first 2 chapters?

What do you think the nightmare was from?

Should be posting chapter 3 sometime in the next couple days I haven't decided if I'm going to post on certain days but from now it's going to be as I finish each chapter and chapter 3 is about a third of the way done.

Hope y'all have a good day!

kisses :)