Detroit Become Human x Readers

Falling (Connor x Reader) {Pt 2}

Connor thought that by spending more time with you, by studying your words and your actions, he could come to the bottom of whatever was happening to him. Through research, as with all things, he was sure he could learn more. But a month on from your conversation together in the car, he was finding himself further from the answer every day.

He thought becoming deviant would at least help him, even just a little. After Markus, the revolution, he was finally open to these emotions. He was quick to learn that experiencing these feelings didn't mean he could understand them. No, that seemed harder than developing them in the first place.

More questions would only appear in his head. If he learned you liked a certain song, he wondered what it would be like to hear you sing. When you talk about your favourite drink, he tries to figure out how to make it for you every time, at the best quality. When you talk about your exes, he wonders what it would be like to date.

To date you.

That had been the thought running through his head, over and over for the last few hours. It was hard to concentrate on anything else, which would not have been such a pressing issue, were you not in the middle of a conversation with him.

"I'm just so over this winter, y'know? Give me summer! I want to be able to wake up feeling warm, instead of a miserable cold ball." You let out a long grumble, holding the steaming hot chocolate in your hands close to your chest. You'd both just finished working through some documents, and Connor had suggested a walk to clear your heads. His head, more specifically. Not that it was working.

He'd barely caught what you'd said, so Connor just nodded in agreement, hoping it would be enough. You tugged your coat a little tighter around your form, shuffling in your seat on the park bench. The snow had stopped falling, and more people were starting to come outside. In the distance, he could hear birds, children and people talking and yelling, car horns. But it was all distant, separated from the not-so-private privacy of your shared seat.

Connor didn't know when, but sometime between when he'd sat down and now, he'd moved closer to you. Your knees were almost touching. He nervously adjusted the cuff of his jacket.

"Anyway," You pulled your legs up and tucked them underneath you, facing him as you brought your drink close to your lips. "I've whined about absolutely nothing these past few minutes, I wanna hear about you. How are you doing?"

"How am I doing?" He asks, trying not to stare at your lips as you take a sip. It's hardly an easy question to answer. He supposes that the short answer would be-

"Strange." He says with a shrug, tearing his eyes away from your face and down to his lap. You seem to be thinking over his answer, in the corner of his eye he could see your finger tapping against your thigh.

"Figures. You've seemed stressed out lately," You say, with a rustle of clothing and a hum. "Do you want to talk about it?" That was like you. Not to pry, but gently prompt. Giving him plenty of space to back out, even though he knew you were likely dying to know.

"Y/N have you ever... been in love?" As he speaks he looks back up, meeting your eyes just in time to catch your surprise. There's a falter as you think, and before you speak. Your brow creases and you shake your head.

"With my exes? I... don't know..." You answered, in a quiet voice. Connor blinks.

"You don't know?" How could you not know? You'd lived with emotions your whole life, you of all people would have been the person he'd think that would understand this well. You were the one always handing out advice.

"Yeah, which makes me think I never had been." You laugh a little at the end, but it's hollow and Connor can feel his face blanching at your statement.

"Oh," He says, feeling his expression twist to a frown. "But you've dated people." It's a statement more than a question, but you still answer it in the form of an unhelpful shrug.

"Yeah, because I liked them. But like isn't enough in a relationship." You try to explain, but Connor can't quite get his head around it.

"It's not?" He asks, and you shake your head, staring at the ground.

"No, it's." You shuffle your position once more, biting your lip as you thought over your next words.

"When you- When like someone, you bring them things. Treats, drinks, gifts. Stuff to make them happy. You're there for the good moments, the dates, the good moods. When you love someone, you understand they can't be happy all the time, but you're still there. Even when they're not smiling." You take a breath, setting your cup on the ground. Connor thinks you're finished when you keep talking.

"Love is... so many things. It's standing with someone after their entire way of life has changed. Their direction, their purpose. Because you know it doesn't matter so long as they're healthy and happy. But it- it's also blinding. When you love someone you trust them in their decisions, even when you're so... so worried for them," You sigh, and rub an eye with your hand tiredly, on a full rant now, and Connor can feel himself freezing up, unmoving, unable to process the sudden, thundering beat of his heart.

"Even when they decide the best course of direction is to break into the CyberLife headquarters without telling you because they've joined a revolution- and- and you're so terrified that you feel sick because you know, however many times he's said that he can't-" Your eyes snap up to his.

"You don't want to see him die." There's a silence between you two that Connor cannot hear over the sound of his rapid breathing. His toes and fingers, curled inward tighter and tighter were beginning to ache after each word you spoke. He was a frozen figure, utterly powerless.

"Does that... does that make sense?" You ask in a shaky voice, pursing your lips and Connor, who'd been rendered paralyzed, could do nothing to stop himself from capturing your worried lips with his.

Yes, he understood now. He understood the ache in his chest when he watched you try to convince your other co-workers to join you in a wheely chair race. He understood the lift of his heart when you'd asked him to come over so you could vent about your shitty ex-boyfriend. He understood the jump in his chest when he'd first watched a romance film, with you, leaned against his shoulder telling awful jokes, trying to distract him from the passionate kissing on the screen.

He'd only been kissing you a few seconds, when you'd reached up to cup his cheeks, breaking the connection of your lips with uncontrollable giggles of shock.

"Oh my god." You breathe out, and he opens up his eyes to find you staring at him with stars in your eyes.

"Oh my god, you're so cute. I love you." He knows it, but that doesn't stop the reeling shock that runs through his body when he hears you say it aloud. In an instant his arms are around your back, pulling you closer.

"I love you, I love you so much." You're repeating, hands holding his chin as you pepper small pecks across his face and lips, before tucking your face into the crook of his neck in embarrassment, which doesn't last long.

"Holy shit, you're warm!" You exclaim, proceeding to snuggle closer to him. He's tempted to make a joke about you using him for warmth, but decides against it.

"I love you too." He mumbles in what is almost a laugh. Hearing his own voice say it is a weight off of his back as he holds you close, hands resting gently on your back as he shuts his eyes.

"I'm in love with you." He whispers, finally at a point where he can happily admit it aloud.