I bought one of those $10 bears from Target and his name is Beary Styles and I have absolutely no regrets
...
Harry
I chew on my thumbnail, staring at the screen of my phone like I have been for the past hour. I told Amelia I would call her today, since I haven't spoken to her in about three days, but I'm unreasonably nervous.
A couple of days ago, an article was released about Amelia possibly being pregnant. I don't know where the sources came from, but apparently she was out buying pregnancy tests and now the whole internet is on the verge of a breakdown. Mine and Amelia's names are being thrown out in almost every magazine and online news source. Twitter and Instagram are blowing up. I've even had a couple phone calls from friends and family, including my mum and sister. Everyone wants to know: is Amelia really pregnant? And I feel so out of the loop because the one person who would really know the answer hasn't told me anything about it.
Maybe it's all a farce and some bored publisher decided to fabricate a story. If that's the case, maybe Amelia didn't even see it so she just doesn't know. But yet I can't help the nagging feeling inside of me telling me that something is wrong and that Amelia is keeping a secret from me.
But why? If she thought she was pregnant, wouldn't she tell me? And even more so if she was pregnant. Of course I respect the fact that she would be the one pregnant and not me but I would still like to know. I hate being in the dark, especially when it involves my girlfriend and I, and our potential baby.
I thought about reaching out to her friend Christian since I have his phone number but I didn't want to seem like a creep. I also didn't want to get him involved because God knows if he even knows about all of this. I guess I just assumed he would since him and Amelia are fairly close.
I groan. I wish I could have talked about this with Amelia sooner but both of our schedules have been unbelievably busy and just off recently. Phone calls were just impossible so we stuck to the simple 'I love you' text messages, nothing more. Without getting confirmation about what's happening has left me alone to my thoughts, which I've found out is a very dangerous thing.
Am I excited that Amelia might be pregnant? Nervous? Scared? I guess all of the above. I've always wanted a family, and especially with her, but I never imagined it happening so soon. I don't even know if this is what Amelia wants. Actually I know it's probably not what she wants because she wants to get married before having children and I plan on sticking to that plan for her.
However, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if things got reversed. Let's say Amelia is pregnant and is happy about it. Then I can definitely see myself getting on board. I'm already there, actually. I want a child - or several - that I can love and spoil. I want a family with the love of my life. I could cry from want just thinking about it.
I take a deep breath and finally decide to phone Amelia. Actually, I decide to FaceTime her because I miss her and am desperate to see her, amongst other things.
After a few rings she picks up, her face pixelating a bit before clearing up. She's laying down in bed, dressed in what looks like one of my shirts. I'm about to make some cheeky comment about it but then I notice how red and puffy her eyes are. Has she been crying?
"Hi, baby," I whisper to her, causing her to smile faintly.
"Hi, love," she replies.
I think her saying 'love' is relatively new to her but I absolutely adore it. It always causes my heart to do somersaults.
"How was your day?" I ask, hesitantly.
She shrugs and averts eye contact briefly.
"It was okay. I didn't really do too much. I had off the past couple of days because of some building inspection at my office so I haven't really left the bedroom," she tells me.
