Behind Your Walls

09 | part of the deal

My Dad died in the line of duty when I was six. I don't remember much about him except for the fact that he was a tall and handsome gentleman with brunette hair. Mom says I look a lot like him. I used to ask her more about him so that I could know myself better.

I have always been jealous of people who have fathers. I remember glaring at my classmates when their fathers came to pick them up from school. Most people found me weird because of the way I stood there but I couldn't help myself. The relationship kids have with their fathers has always been alien to me.

When Mom married Panther, she said that he would be my father. Unfortunately, he never kept her word.

Carter's father is different. Unlike last night when he was wearing a night robe and a stall, today he is dressed in a plain sweater and sweatpants. He has a smile on his face today but I can see how hard it is for him to maintain that smile. He is only trying that hard because I am sitting opposite him at their dining table in the kitchen.

Carter sits beside me and two bowls of cornflakes are placed in front of us. I am stunned by the fact that neither his Dad nor Melody asked him about his injuries. They look like they are used to seeing him like that. Melody stands beside Mr. Bell, rubbing his back in slow circles after every cough that leaves his throat. He is really sick. I don't know what his ailment is but I am itching to find out.

"How is school, Carter?" Mr. Bell asks as he takes a spoonful of his meal and eats it.

"It's okay," Carter replies, tilting his bowl and swallowing the rest of its contents in one gulp.

I am only halfway through my food but my mind is occupied with the situation in this family. Melody doesn't even look like a nurse. She is wearing a pale blue dress today and gives me a small smile when she sees me watching her. I look down, flushed as I focus on quietly shoving my breakfast down my throat.

"That's good," Mr. Bell hums. "So, Amaya, where did you and Carter meet?"

His question makes me look up to find his eyes on me, waiting. I gulp, trying to think of some excuse when Carter answers for me.

"On the bus, two weeks ago. It was love at first sight."

Another lie

Mr. Bell looks like he can't even take his son's words seriously. Carter turns his attention to me; one of his hands reaches forward and he brushes a strand of my hair from my face.

"She is pretty and I'm whipped."

That is the second time Carter called me pretty and I feel my stomach flutter at the compliment. I know I am not bad to look at but my uncomfortable personality has always been a disadvantage when it comes to scoring guys.

He drops his hand before going back to my food. I have a queasy feeling somewhere within me and I don't feel like eating anymore. I push the bowl away from me, feeling sick suddenly.

"What's wrong, babe?" Carter asks.

His 'babe' doesn't sound very appealing to my ears. I have to talk to him about setting some ground rules if I am to be his girlfriend.

"I'm not hungry," I say.

His eyes follow me as I get up and he looks fearful like he is afraid that I am going to stop being a part of our little game. I don't want to disappoint him, especially when I have no idea why he is doing what he is doing.

"You okay?" he asks, his voice laced with concern.

"I'm fine. I'll be in your room. I need to catch up on school work."

I spot Carter looking between me and his Dad. I must have scared him too much, so to assure him of not being a promise-breaker, I lean in and place a chaste kiss on his cheek. I feel him freeze under my touch but I just murmur a 'bye' to the trio before running back to Carter's room.