If I Were A Boy (camren)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"I thought you couldn't speak," Camila hesitantly spoke up with a questioning tone as she released her hold on my wrist. I cleared my throat and opened my mouth back open in hope to say something else, but nothing wanted to be let out. Camila sighed and arched her right eyebrow, "You love me?"

I nodded and widened my lips once more in attempt to change the topic, and this time a single word finally occurred, "Sleep."

"One word at a time, Lauren," she comforted me and rested her elbow onto the hospital mattress. The  Cuban girl with visible bags under her eyes propped her chin against the palm of her hand and eyed me closely, "I'm not tired. I was only resting because I feel like complete shit."

My hand faltered a bit, but I managed to place my hand gently on Camila's shoulder and started to rub it soothingly, "Okay?"

Camila's face broke out into a full out grin, "Yeah. I'm okay. I, uh- did you see Austin by any chance? My doctor told me he would be here after the surgery and I just haven't seen him." 

The recent memory of Austin flirting around with the dark onyx hair flashed throughout my brain. My sight seemed to glance back between the scene and Camila- the weak girl staring at me and awaiting an answer. 

"Y-yes," I nodded with a short stutter. 

"Really? Where is he?" Camila's voice was laced with worry, no excitement was available. "Did you talk to him? Or, did he talk to you, I mean."

"No."

He was talking with another girl, Camila. He doesn't deserve you. You deserve someone that will be so much more faithful to me.

"So, you just saw him?" Camila sighed. "He hasn't visited me once during the whole time I've been here. I've seen my mom, my dad, Sofi, Dinah, and even Ally- but no sight of Austin."

"Normani?" The name fluttered quickly with from my mouth, more eager than I had planned.

"I didn't know Normani lived around here," the other patient answered honestly with a shake of the head. "Where is she?"

"No," I shrugged with the bland answer before taking a deep breath in order to speak again. "Gone."

"Come here," Camila suddenly told me, patting the opposite side of the hospital cot that was awaiting behind her. She noticed the blank expression that was smeared across my face and that emerged a giggle from her, "I know your speech is screwed up, but your hearing is perfectly fine. Come here, Laur."

I gradually ambled my way over there, a bit taken back by her request but decided to complete it anyways. Crawling onto the sheet covered mattress and completely laying down in an appropriate position, Camila rose her timbre again. 

"Unbutton the first three buttons of my gown."

The second desire sent my eyes bursting from their sockets, "What?"

"Lauren," she shifted her body slightly so that her head could twist a bit in order make eye contact with me. The chocolate brown eyes seemed to be begging me, "Don't ask questions."

The gulp that cleared through my throat was probably obvious to the woman before me. Looking down at the five white buttons that lined down the outer fabric of the patient uniform, I fumbled my shaking hands forward at the first round clasp. It looped through easily, and so did the second one. The third one had my palms sweating, yet I had no idea why I was so nervous. Finally, after what it felt like hours, the third button fell through the small slit and my jaw instantly dropped.

I reached closer towards Camila's still body to trace my pointer finger down a ridged scar that was edged down her back. It began just below her neck and rushed vigorously downwards. Camila shivered under my touch and let out a relieved sigh once I removed my hand. 

"Stop," I moved my head up marginally so that my mouth was next to her ear. Camila was now laying down on her left side, facing away from me with her head positioned lightly on a pillow instead of her hand. "Beautiful."

With a sudden barrage of courage, I commenced in placing my lips smoothly against where the newest scar started. Kissing down the lineament with small pecks, I made sure that every inch of Camila's back that had just witnessed surgery.

"He," I breathed onto her collar heavily, causing a silent moan that was obviously being held back to appear from Camila's lips. "Doesn't deserve you."

The three words the were linked together arrived smoothly and easily- the first conjoined sentence that I had spoken in a long time. Camila's body immediately tensed up and she flipped her body right around so that now we were eye to eye. 

"What did you say?"

The electric buzz shot through my veins once again and I coughed in attempt to loosen up my vocal chords so that I could explain thoroughly, "Austin."

"I'm married to him, Lauren. We spoke our vows, confessed our love to each other."

"I confessed," I shot back with force. "I love you."

Her hand lifted up off her side and moved towards my pursed lips, brushing across them for a brief moment, "I heard you. That's why you're still here, Lauren."

"I love you," I repeated again as if she didn't hear me say it the first time. "I love you."

"Lauren," she giggled lightly, but that disappeared and formed into a deep exhale. "You're a little late. Five years too late."

"Other night," I furrowed my eyebrows and shuffled away from her touch. The frown that was smacked onto her face crushed my heart, but this was becoming way too confusing for me to obtain. "You kissed me."

"It was a mistake," she answered, and I could tell she regretted the explanation the second it left her tongue. "What I meant is, I realized what I was doing was dumb. I'm married and I really don't want to turn out as one of those unfaithful wives."

"Too late," I replied with frustration and twisted my body onto its right side so that I was no longer facing her. "I love you."

"Will you stop saying that? I get it! You're just making me feel worse about it," Camila growled. 

"It's true," I closed my eyelids and took a deep breath. "You'll realize."

Camila didn't respond, and she didn't turn away from me either. I could feel her warm breathing bounce against the back of my neck every so often. After a few minutes of complete, utter silence, I started to shuffle off the bed to return back to the awaiting Dinah. 

Camila's small hand gripped onto my wrist once again, "Lauren."

"What," the word escaped much more roughly than expected.

"Stay here. We don't have to talk, or even look at each other, but please just stay here with me," Camila practically beseeched. The words registered through my mind as a déjà vu, reminding me of a past time where the same sentence was asked. I turned back around to face the woman who looked like she was about to pass out from tiredness. Her wary eyelids blinked aimlessly, almost like she was trying to communicate with me. 

"Okay," I nodded and found myself sliding back under the covers. Camila tried to send me a smile, but instead she drifted off into a deep sleep, something she had needed from the very start. I outstretched my arm and swiped away a loose strand of hair that was concealing half of her face. 

"I love you," I whispered gently before planting a firm peck of my lips against her forehead. This time, the three words and eight letters seemed so much more meaningful than the other times I had admitted them. 

This time they were real. 

[A/N] lauren, they ain't ready for this. normani, they ain't ready for this. camila, they ain't ready for this. ally, dinah jane- fifth harmony. 

my favs on the album are everlasting love, brave honest beautiful and like mariah. of course  reflection, we know, and going nowhere are making me pry because the studio version is so breathtaking. what's your favorites??