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Ally~
"Sorry if I haven't been interactive lately. My classes are just moving by so fast and it's getting really hard to keep up. I'm glad we're doing this now." Jake interlocked his fingers with mine as we walked through the park. It's currently night time, so the place is empty and quiet.
"It's pretty busy at my department too, so I totally understand. I'm also happy that we're here together right now," I stopped walking and turned around to face him. My arms wrapped around his waist, and I placed my head onto his chest. "I missed you."
"Me too," he pushed away the strands covering my face. "What have you been up to lately? Other than school."
I didn't know if I should tell him about Jay, but he'll probably get more upset if it comes from someone else.
"I'm in the same group as Jay for our mock trial project. We've started talking again, and I came over to his place and ate food that his mom made. He's really sick right now, and collapsed during class... I took him home yesterday- our classmate dropped us to his house." I nervously told him. Jake's smiled faded away, and his eyebrow raised.
"Is that so? Jay... I thought you didn't want anything to do with him anymore. You're not very good at following your words," he shook his head. "Is he feeling any better now?"
"I'm not sure- I'll have to ask his mom later. He's just going through so much, and I feel horrible for not being there to comfort him. I didn't even know that he and Elle already broke up three months ago." I sighed heavily.
"You're not responsible for him. Don't think you have to make him feel better." Jake looked away in annoyance.
"Are you jealous?" I tilted my head and he just nodded. I tiptoed and pecked him on the nose... it's almost our fourth month together- yet, we've still never kissed.
"Should we cross the line today?" His hands travelled to my face, and he ended up cupping my cheeks.
"Should we?" My eyes started to flutter close, as his face began coming closer to mine. We began closing the gap between us, and before I knew it...
I was kissing Jake.
However, it felt highly disappointing. I didn't feel a single thing- maybe a slight thrill? That was about it... and it scared me. Is this how I'm supposed to react? Maybe kisses in movies are way too romanticized, because what happened to cherry blossoms on a spring day? Butterflies in your stomach? Time stop?That's definitely not the case for me.
I didn't expect my first kiss to go like this.
I swear my feelings for Jake are sincere. I've liked him this whole time, and I definitely enjoy his presence. It's not like I'm forcing myself to like him because he's my only choice.
Jake pulled away, and I just stared at him in shock. I tried to recollect my thoughts, but he kissed me once again before I could. I hoped this time it would be different, but it felt exactly the same despite this one being much more passionate than the first.
I just went with it, and it flowed quite naturally. I opened my eyes in the middle and totally regret it, so I closed them right back. Jake seems really good at kissing...
"Are you sure you've never had a girlfriend before?" I was the one that pulled away this time, and he seemed very taken aback by my question.
"Of course- this was also my first kiss. Why? Are you doubting me?" He walked closer while I stepped backwards. My back was now slightly pressed against the play structure, and I felt very nervous.
"No! I'm just confused with what I feel." I didn't mean to raise my voice at him, but it seemed to have just projected that way.
"Do you still like him? Are you regretting that I'm your first kiss and not Jay?" His eyes were dark and desperate. "Let's take a break for a while."
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Just want to say that next week's chapters are gonna be... 💕💘💖💞
⭐️
Song: SURL (설) — Snow (눈)
(LYRICS: coming out to the streets together for the last time, creating last memories together)
