coffee stains || dreamnotfound

nineteen - dream

"you actually came."

george absentmindedly runs a hand through his hair, "i did." a short chuckle escapes his lips and i find myself staring at him for a little too long. a familiar warmth climbs the back of my neck, and i hope he doesn't notice.

i hesitate letting him in, remembering how much his presence seems to affect me recently. i internally curse myself out, nerves already making their way around my body. i know shouldn't have become so confident earlier, but in my defence, he wasn't actually supposed to come over...it was more of an 'in the moment' thing. i shrug the jitters away and step aside, allowing george to walk in.

"do you not want me here?" he asks as i gently close the door behind him. i spin to face him, my back pressing lightly against the cool surface of the door. i put my arms behind me, pressing my clammy palms against the surface to discreetly rid them of sweat.

i force a shrug, "i do, it's just a little late," i pause, mentally trying to build some of my confidence back, "i take it you're staying the night."

"i can call myself an uber in a couple hours, it's fine."

i shake my head, "george, you can stay."

as we walk into my front room, i can't help asking myself when i got this worked up over george. he's become one of my closest friends since he moved in the apartment opposite mine a few months back- and it's been great. i never used to think these absurd thoughts, or have these strange dreams, like the ones where i end up kissing him. his footsteps behind me suddenly remind me of his company and guilt floods my brain upon realising these thoughts won't stop.

something must be wrong with me, because i'm sure this isn't how friends are supposed to think about one another. i don't get nervous around nick, and i sure as hell don't dream about kissing him. so what makes george so different?

"do you want me," in the ways i want you?  "to stay, or are you just being nice?"

i freeze, "what?"

"you seem...quiet. you know you can just tell me to leave, you know." he says, meeting my eyes. i scratch the back of my neck, an apologetic smile making it's way onto my face. i look away immediately, not wanting to freak him out any further than i already have. is my odd behaviour that noticeable? i'm usually good at keeping a cool appearance, but for some reason today, my nerves seem to be getting the best of me.

i glance back up from the floor and find myself finally noticing how nice george looks today. he must've dressed up a little to meet me earlier, and i selfishly stood him up. his hair's a little messy from the countless times he's ran his hand through it, and wonder if he gets nervous around me, too.

i clear my throat, "no, no. i want you here. i just need to make a phone call. wait here." i order, before dashing into the bathroom.

my reflection frustrates me as i stare into my own eyes, the smudges on the bathroom mirror become more apparent with the yellow lighting. i tiredly prod at my face, and something bites at me to remind me i'm not worth george's time. i distract my loud thoughts by dialling nick's number, and waiting impatiently for him to answer.

"i have an issue." i say in one breath, turning to sit on the closed toilet lid.

i hear a deep sigh from the other end, "am i really just here to solve your boy problems?" he muses.

"what?" i ask, but he's already hung up. i glare at the screen, which displays a message from him. i debate on ignoring him, but give in with a huff. 'dude, you have to talk to him.'

i figure he's probably right, but i type out a message back anyway. 'i don't know how.'

when he doesn't reply, i walk back out to the front room but george is nowhere in sight. i call his name, a frown making it's way onto my face at the silence. tilting my head, i spot a note on the table, which has various bottles of alcohol i still haven't finished on it.

i pick up a bottle and pouring some of its contents into a glass, i read the paper in handwriting i recognise as george's. 

'this is what you get for leaving me at a coffee shop all alone :p'

i can't help but chuckle, i should have seen this coming. i shake my head in amusement as i down the glass of alcohol. it doesn't take long to start affecting me, and i giggle at how blurry the room is slowly becoming.

when i only have half the bottle left, i pull out my phone and call george without hesitating. i guess that's the best part about alcohol; no more nerves.

he takes a moment to pick up, but when he does a smirk grows wide on my face, "i meant what i said before."

"what do you want?" he asks, and i can hear the playful tone in his voice. it takes me a while to reply, the world seeming to spin with every breath i take.

"you."

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word count: 915
*in editing*
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i kinda like this chapter