Introspective Strangers [h.s.]

Chapter 52

*** TRIGGER WARNING:

This chapter contains some pretty dark themes, mentions/insinuations of suicide and death.

There is a summary of the chapter at the end if you would like to skip it.

Please only read if you are in the right headspace and please, PLEASE remember to take care of yourself and put yourself first. <3 You are worth the entire world and deserve everything good! Remember that I am always a message away if you want to talk.

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Chapter 52

HARRY'S P.O.V.:

I watched idly as she disappeared into the crowd – that familiar, hollow feeling I got whenever she left bubbling up unbidden in the pit of my stomach. The couch I was sitting on had suddenly become much too stiff and the atmosphere around me both unbearably hot and uncomfortable. With a grimace, I shifted, attempting to duck my head away from the passing partygoers.

"So," a voice breathed out beside me. I turned my head a fraction in Amelia's direction, just fast enough to catch her amused grin. "Funny how you deflate as soon as she leaves."

I laughed lowly, running my hands over my pant legs. "Can you blame me?"

"You're good for her, I think." May's drunk friend slurred, after momentarily studying my face. Her and Ben had dropped themselves onto the couch in May's stead. "She needs something good. Something that's actually hers."

My heart stumbled a beat, tripped and fell right over itself, at the notion that I was considered good for May. That it wasn't all just in my head. "I'll try to be that something good for her."

And it was true. I would try as long as she would let me – even longer than that.

It was when she nodded drunkenly at my response and then turned to nuzzle her head into Ben's neck that I excused myself. I don't know if it was the alcohol or the adrenaline from the party, but I found myself feeling a little jealous as I left the two of them, wishing that it was May and I still wrapped in each other's arms as we had been only minutes prior.

The room swayed before my eyes, a swirling mass of colours and bodies that had me turning in circles a few times trying to find the washroom. This was pathetic, even for me, I realized. That I couldn't go without May for more than 5 minutes before searching an entire party for her. But I continued my trek, nonetheless, in the direction of the washroom so that I could catch her the moment she stepped out and didn't have to waste a second more of time that we weren't together.

Jesus fucking Christ. When did I become such an emotional idiot?

Evading the drunken 'happy birthday's' and pats on the back proved to be harder than I thought, having momentarily forgotten that it was in fact my party. By the time I reached the other end of the house and found an empty washroom, it had probably been over 15 minutes and I cursed myself, assuming that she was most likely already now back at the couch waiting for me.

As I stepped back out into the hallway, steadying myself momentarily against the doorframe, I noticed the door to the kitchen slightly ajar.

"Hey," I mumbled to a man to my left, who was leaning against the wall and chatting up some girl. Neither of whom I knew, thank God. I didn't think I could deal with someone else trying to make small talk with me for another five minutes about my birthday and what I've done since I moved away.

"Started a company and now I'm rich – thank you, goodbye. Let's hope we don't talk for another five years, yeah?"

"You good, man?" The guy asked, looking me once over.