Chapter Five: Misery And Insecurities.

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Charlie fed Ella and now her little daughter was sleeping in her arms while Kathie was busy filling the colors in her coloring book. It has been an exhausting week for Charlie – with Marcus's absences due to his busy work schedule and two children – she felt worn-out. It has been three days since she saw Marcus – he flew to London for some business-related work – leaving Charlie feeling miserable without him. When he is around – he usually helps her with kids but now she was doing everything on her own. Charlie sighed and rested her head back on the header of Kathie's bed and closed her eyes as they glossed with tears. There are times when she feels useless. She has housekeepers to help her with daily work, all she has to do is take care of her children and her husband, and yet she couldn't do it properly. When did she become so dull and ungrateful? She sniffled and opened her eyes – she felt like crying but Kathie was at a curious age – she was observing things and questioning them – Charlie didn't have the energy to answer the string of her innocent questions.

Charlie was thinking about placing Ella in her crib when her cellphone buzzed beside her – she glanced at it to see that it was Marcus. With Ella in her arms, she looked at Kathie. "Kathie, sweetie – can you please answer the call on mama's phone?" She asked her daughter who lifted her head to look at her mother pointing towards her phone. "It is your Dada calling. I will put Ella in her crib," She added. Kathie's eyes sparkled when she heard that it was her father calling – she leaped forward and answered the call, "Hey, Dada!" she squealed happily. Charlie could hear Marcus's chuckling from the other side. She heaved a sigh and placed Ella in her crib – her little monkey steered in her sleep but soon went still while she moved her lower lip in her sleep – something her father finds adorable about her. She softly grazed her daughter's cheek before she turned to look at Kathie who stood behind her, "Mama, dada wants to talk to you." She said and handed the phone over to Kathie before she went back to filling colors in her book. Charlie smiled and placed her phone to her ear, "Hey," she said.

There was a small pause before Marcus replied, "Hey," Charlie could sense the tiredness in his voice. "How are you, Marcus?" She asked. "I am okay – I just miss you and the kids," He replied softly. Charlie exhaled softly, "We miss you too, babe." She replied. "How are things going on in London?" She asked him. "Things are going well – it might take a day or two to seal some deals," He replied. Charlie smashed her lips, "So when will you be back?" She asked. Se heard Marcus exhale before he replied, "It might take three to four more days," his reply sink Charlie's heart – she missed him too much to wait for another three to four days but she didn't tell him that, instead she changed the topic and started to talk about London. After a while, Marcus hung up the call and Charlie stared down at her phone. She hasn't been feeling too well lately – physically she was all right but mentally – she was tormented. Her eyes filled with tears – she quickly glanced at her daughter and placed a kiss on Kathie's head, "Mama will be in her room if you need anything, okay?" She whispered to which Kathie nodded her head without looking into her mother's teary eyes. Charlie checked on Ella before she left the kid's room and walked into her own.

Charlie closed the door behind her and walked to look at herself in a full mirror. A fat tear escaped her eye. Her lower lip quivered. "What happened to you, Charlie?" She whispered to herself as her own eyes judged her appearance. Her hair was greasy and tied up in a messy bun. She washed him the day before yesterday. She untied them and ran her fingers through her long and messy hair. She doesn't remember the last time she had a haircut – it was probably before she was pregnant with Ella. Her eyes then went on Marcu's old shirt she was wearing – it has been a while since she dressed well. Her skin looks pale and she smelled like baby powder and eggs – probably because she fed them to Kathie a while ago.

For the past few weeks – Charlie has been wondering where did the fire go between her and Marcus? Now that she looks at herself – she wonders why would Marcus want to be intimate with her when she looked like this. The insecurities were piling up in her. She stepped forward and placed her hand in the mirror. It has been over a month since she and Marcus had sex – that too was plain with a passion lost somewhere. They just got rid of the urges they had – that too rather quickly. As much as Charlie wants to deny – they haven't recovered since all the Elna fiasco. Marcus comes home late when he doesn't – he usually either is in his office at home or is busy playing with his kids. At the end of the day when they put their children in bed – they are too exhausted to even talk. They would kiss goodnight and fall asleep as soon as they hit the bed.

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