Part 36

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Deoksim ran with  her full speed inside the hospital. She was still wearing yesterday's cloths.When she got her consciousness, she was in Mark's apartment with a bandaged arm.But the first thing she heard is,the famous owner of the army restaurant Chef Kim Seokjin was stabbed when he just entered to the kitchen of the restaurant. All news channels were talking about one thing.Kim Seokjin.

Deoksim barged inside the private VVIP room of the hospital. Her parents,Siblings and Lee Jongsuk were there.Seokjin was awake but he was very weak.Deoksim knew who did it.She very well knew it.She couldn't control her tears seeing her brother in the hospital bed all weak.She slowly walked inside taking everyone's attention.

Mrs.Kim was about to ask where has she been in this whole time.But stopped when Deoksim dropped herself on the floor and started to cry loudly like a baby."Oppa!I'm sorry!I'm sorry!It's all because of me!!forgive me oppa!"she hiccuped in between.

Mr.Kim quickly knelt infront of her and took her to his embrace. Jimin also knelt down rubbing Deoksim's back.They all thought that she was crying because of the shock and because of her love towards Jin. "Sweetheart,Jin oppa is fine now.Don't cry hm?"Mr.Kim tried to calm her down.

But Mrs.Kim and Jongsuk were suspicious about her words.Mrs.Kim was frozen on her spot.She was shocked because of her words.On the other hand, Jongsuk was curious.

Deoksim kept crying saying it's her fault.Her whole face was red.Kim boys were all worried seeing her like that.Specially Jin."princess,come here"he said weakly.Mr.Kim helped Deoksim to stand up and walked her towards his bed.

Deoksim cried even more seeing her stomach was bandaged.Also he had a plaster on his forehead."O-Oppa!I'm so-sorry!It's my fault!"

"Hey hey,shh,don't cry princess.I'm fine now.And how can it be your fault?hm?You didn't stab me."he chuckled and patted the space beside him indicating her to sit down.Deoksim sat down still crying her heart out."aigoo, my cry baby.Oppa is fine.Don't cry.It makes me sad to see my princess crying"

She couldn't stay there seeing him like that.Her head was eating her up.She was stressed a lot.She felt like she needs to throw up because of the stress she was feeling. The pressure in her head was too much.The bottle up feelings were like a volcano which is about to explode.She felt like her whole existence was useless.She couldn't protect her brother.And she's putting her family in danger.What's the point of her life.She had already planned to kill herself in the future after finishing everything she wanted to do.And now her mind wasn't processing with a clear conscious.So what if I end all of this today?my family won't be in any danger anymore. She thought.

With that thought, she ran away surprising everyone. "Deoksim!"Mrs.kim was about to follow her but Jongsuk stopped her.

"Mrs.Kim, I'll go after her.Jin hyung needs you right now"with that he ran after her.

Deoksim ran outside of the hospital. She ran towards the bridge over the Han river.

 She ran towards the bridge over the Han river

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(Imagine it is as a day time)

She held the fence and tried to step on it.But before she could do anything, a hand grabbed her shoulders taking her back.She struggled shouting to let go."LET GO!LET ME DIE!"

"KIM DEOKSIM!LOOK AT ME!"Jongsuk yelled still trying to keep her in one place.Deoksim shook her head refusing to look at him."I SAID LOOK AT ME!"this time His voice came as a more demanding tone.

Deoksim stopped struggling but didn't look back.She continued to cry lowering her head."please,let me do this"she whispered breaking Jongsuk's heart into pieces.Jongsuk slowly made her turn and looked at her swollen face with tears streaming down.He cupped her cheeks.He knew that she doesn't want words now.She only needs the comfort.He understood her every well just looking at her broken figure.He pecked her forehead before hugging her tightly.

Her whole body yearned for it.The feeling of safe and comfort.She didn't want to cry in that comfort zone.She wanted to relax her messed up mind.And it was easy in that warm embrace.She slowly let her body give up.

Jongsuk badly wanted to know what happened. But her situation is more important than any other thing.He felt her painful heart.Her pain.Her aching heart.Her messed up mind.He could see her like an open book.He slowly stroked her hair giving small pecks to her head.And he felt her whole body weight on him.He checked on her in case but a small smile appeared on his lips seeing her sleeping comfortably in his embrace.

Time skip

Deoksim woke up in a warm comfortable embrace.She looked up to see a white ceiling. Confusion took over her so she looked at her side to see Jongsuk sleeping beside her.She was in his embrace. A loud gasp escaped from her mouth waking up the sleeping boy.He smiled when he saw her shocked face."Don't be surprised. You comfortably slept in my arms so I didn't want to distroy your sleep "

She sighed not feeling energy like she used to.If it was another day,she would have blushed like a tomato for the thousands time of the day.But she was feeling empty today."where am I?"she asked in a whisper not letting their eyes contact.

Jongsuk saw her gloomy self."It's my house.Don't worry.I informed your omma and appa about it.I told them that you needed some rest"

Deoksim nodded and sighed again.Somehow being in his embrace felt nice.She was sighing because she was feeling relaxed a little.

"Mind to explain what happened?"Jongsuk asked thinking it might be the suitable time to confront her.Deoksim looked at him hesitantly. "You can trust me"he whispered tucking a hair strand behind her ear.Deoksim shook her head.

"No.It's not like I don't trust you but I don't want to involve you"

"But I want to get involved"Jongsuk said softly.

"My life is already dark.It can never be brightened again.But I don't want to drag people with me to that darkness. You don't understand. It's a lot scarier than you think"she whispered bitterly.With that she sat up wanting to leave.But Jongsuk held her wrist while sitting up too.But as soon as he held her wrist,she hissed in pain.Jongsuk quickly released her hand.

Deoksim's sleeve had a hole.And Jongsuk saw a white bandage through that hole.His worried eyes directed towards her eyes.

"I'm leaving"she said standing up.

"I understand"he said making her stop in her tracks."I understand that you don't want me to get involved. You care for me.But I care for you too"last sentence came out as a whisper."I do care for you a lot.Since the first day I saw you,my heart wants to keep you closer to me.And now my heart aches Deoksim.A lot.It's because of you"His voice started to crack."If you don't want me to get involved in your business,then atleast come to me when you need a comfort.Just bury your pain in my chest.It keeps calling your name"

At first Jongsuk didn't want to trust Deoksim after hearing the truth about her life.But when he again and again saw her,he never saw a mafia in her.His eyes only saw an innocent girl.Even after seeing her beating up Jisoo's kidnappers,he only saw a caring,sweet person.He tried to destroy the way he sees her.But nothing worked.He couldn't ignore it anymore. Deoksim is something else in his eyes.

Deoksim turned to him slowly.She smiled painfully. "You're falling for me.I'm falling for you too.But it will painful to you in the future.I will leave everyone soon.So it's better if we don't fall for each other"

Jongsuk didn't understand the real meaning of the word 'leave'.He didn't have a single thought about the meaning. He bit his lower lip harshly and looked down.

"I'll take my leave.And don't worry.I won't do the thing I was going to do on the bridge"

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