Chapter 13

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That night Cassie sat in her room with an ache in her heart, tears running down her face, sob after sob. Biting down on her lip trying to not make any noise, but the tears wouldn't stop, Cassie couldn't stop. It hurts, he hurt, so fucking bad.

For hours she tried to understand why she wasn't good enough for Sirius. Was she really that horrid that he couldn't be a father to her?

In some ways, this grief was worse than what Cassie went through with Cedric. Cedric didn't choose to leave her life, but Sirius made choice all on his own leaving her heartbroken.

Cassie had spent countless nights years ago planning and dreaming of what she would do with her dad. She wanted to tell him everything, do everything with him, simply be with him. Unfortunately, reality usually isn't as kind as our dreams are which she learned the hard way.

All of these late night thoughts lead her to this moment. Sitting on her windowsill one last time smoking a cigarette, hoping this won't be a stupid decision. Cassie sat there trying to convince herself that things would be better this way by reminiscing on the times when it went to shit.

She remembered as clear as day all of those times that Cassie was forgotten or the mere second option. Sirius would be happier, she wouldn't be a burden any longer. She wouldn't make herself suffer any longer watching her father care for someone that isn't her.

With one last drag of her shriveled up cigarette, Cassie took a deep breath heading over to her trunks. She packed everything of hers she could find, while also stashing Regulus' journal and scrapbook.

As she stood in front of her door, bags in hand, Cassie took a shaky breath and thought, 'Time to do what I should've done weeks ago.'

She shakily opened her door creaking down the steps. As she passed by the second floor, she hesitated. Something compelled her to talk to Fred before she left, which is what lead her to knocking on their door.

A groggy Fred opened his door squinting at the girl in front of him, "Cassie—?"

"I don't have much time," she said cutting him off, "I just couldn't leave without saying goodbye."

"Wha- Why are you leaving, what are you talking about?" he asked confused.

Cassie sighed, "You saw what happened at dinner. I can't do this anymore, Fred. I have to get out of here, I just wanted to say goodbye."

Fred instantly pulling the girl into a hug.

"Is there any way I can convince you to stay?" he whispered into her hair.

"It's better this way, trust me. I'll see you on the first of September," she said pulling away wiping a stray tear that fell.

Fred moved the her hair behind her ear, "Please be safe. It's dangerous out there."

"I will, don't worry about me," she whispered.

"It's impossible not to worry about you, Cassiopeia."

Cassie smiled and leaned up to give Fred a kiss on the cheek.

Saying another quick goodbye, Cassie picked up her bags once again and headed down the stairs. As she walked down she made a mental note of everything. The dust-ridden banister, the worn carpet, the peeling wallpaper. Grimmauld didn't deliver the best memories for Cassie, but this house is the only thing she has of her direct family. Despite it all, she wanted to remember it.

Wanting to remember it all lead Cassie to wander into the room with the Black family tree on the wall. She stood there for a while just staring at her name, thinking she looked out of place on there now.

"Please don't go," a desperate voice croaked out.

Sirius had heard someone walking down the stairs which he had thought was peculiar due to the time. Normally he'd be sleeping like a rock, but after the blow up with Cassie, he couldn't sleep a wink.

He went to investigate the sounds and when he found Cassie, bags in hand, it was as if he was transported back to 1975. Sirius felt as though he was looking in a mirror at his younger self preparing to run away. He saw the same broken look in his daughter's eyes that he once had and it destroyed him knowing he's the one who caused that.

Sirius had always known him and his daughter were alike in many ways, but Cassie was basically a carbon copy of him in this moment, and it broke him. He didn't want this moment to be the one in which they were most alike. It scared him to death.

Cassie didn't even have to look to know it was Sirius telling her not to leave. Alas, she still looked up to see something that for a split second, made her reconsider her choice to leave. But only for that split second.

Sirius stood there more vulnerable than ever. He was hunched over with a desperate look across his face as tears welled in his eyes. He knew what was happening. Sirius didn't have to ask because he once was Cassie.

"I have to go," Cassie said shakily.

"No you don't," he said desperately, "we can work through this, I'm sorry, I'll be there for you, Cassiopeia."

Cassie shook her head disapprovingly, "You know, that's really funny coming from you. You once told me that before, that you would always be there for me. But almost every time I was sitting alone in my room, crying for someone to hug me and comfort me, you were the one that had caused my tears. So when you say you'll always be there for me, did you forget you can't even protect me from yourself?"

By now, Sirius was full on crying, knowing he lost his one and only daughter. He knew he lost her, but still, he tried desperately to keep her.

"I'm so sorry, Cassie," he cried, "I messed up!"

"You didn't just 'mess up'. I mean, come on! You haven't been a father to me once! I'm your daughter, but you didn't come back for me, you came back for Harry..." Cassie whimpered.

Cassie began to walk past him heading for the door, but Sirius grabbed onto her before she could reach the entrance.

"Nothing I say will make it better, just please don't go, Cassiopeia," he begged helplessly.

"You know, your parents are what you hated hated most in this world, but it's funny how you turned out not much worse than them," she paused, "Congratulations, you became the thing you hated most while getting exactly what you wanted all along: Harry as a child instead of me," Cassie said sternly.

These words made Sirius sob knowing it was partially true. He did become like his parents, which makes him feel sick to his stomach. What Cassie was wrong about though is that he wants her as his child, not Harry.

Cassie ripped herself from his grip and headed toward the door. As she opened the door, she took one final look at the broken man, looked him dead in the eyes and said, "Goodbye, Sirius."

He broke out of his trance hearing his daughter not call him "dad". Sirius raced toward her, trying to stop her, but it was too late. His daughter was gone, and it was all his fault.

And as he tried to stop her, she felt each piece of her heart breaking with her sanity. A piece for her father, a piece for herself, a piece for Cedric. A piece for everything she's experienced. He didn't care. The Prisoner of Azkaban didn't care.

I'm not crying, you are. 🤧

Made this chapter relatively short, I was going to add in more on where Cassie apparates to, but I felt her goodbye should be a stand-alone chapter.

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