Close Calls

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Jeff the Killer

You were taking D/N out for a walk around the block when somebody suddenly jumped out of the bushes with a bag of Cheetos.

"Want one?" The filthy man said with a wide grin, showing off disgustingly decayed teeth.

"Er... No thanks. I'm good."

He suddenly dropped the Cheetos on your dog's head and made a lunge for you.

You, of course, responded with a combo of kicks and punches in rapid succession.

The would-be-assulter stumbled back, tripped over his own feet, and fell into a nearby ditch.

D/N was happily munching away on the Cheetos so you quickly pulled him/her away from the bag and kept on walking like nothing had ever happened.

Jeff, who had been leaning on a lamp post watching the entire thing, began slowly clapping.

BEN Drowned... In kitty litter?

(Note: This is a bit long and different but I've been dying to write it)

You and BEN were watching a movie together with popcorn and ice cream.

Suddenly there was a loud thumping sound coming from the attic.

BEN pretended not to hear it but you were instantly worried for the safety of your gaming devices and stood up to check it out.

"Y/N? Where are you going?"

"Just gonna check up on that noise real quick."

"It's probably just the cat."

"That's what they always say right before they find out that it's a deranged serial killer," you said firmly.

BEN snorted and turned back to the T.V.

"Oh the irony..."

After a quick trip upstairs, your torch light shone upon...

"C/N!"

It was your traitorous cat who had tried to kill you.

Relief washed over you.

"You're right, BEN! It's just-"

Suddenly the cat jumped onto the bookshelf and swatted a rope which was tied to a hook.

The rope came undone and a noose fell over your head, tightening around your neck.

"What the-"

C/N began pulling one end and backing away, causing the rope to begin lifting.

You were beginning to see black spots swimming in your vision as the noose began choking you.

BEN came upstairs because you missed his favorite part of the movie and was dumbstruck by the sight in front of him.

"B-BEN! The cat's... Trying to kill me!" You choked out.

The little elf quickly drew out a sword, thought about it then sheathed it, dragged over a stool, stood on top of it, drew out the sword again, and sliced through the rope.

Your feet hit the ground and you began gulping in oxygen like it was going out of style. (Yeah... That doesn't really make any sense, does it?)

The cat let out a yowl of terror when BEN threw the sword at it. And then the stool to boot.

C/N streaked out through the window and disappeared into the darkness.

"Y/N! Are you alright?"

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