The Christmas Party

Help to Make the Season Bright

"It's so crowded" I said to Thea, bumping shoulders with a stranger in the mall.

"I would expect the mall to be crowded in December."

I rolled my eyes but didn't comment, instead I straightened, prepared to shoulder check the next person who dared walk to close to me.

"So who are we shopping for?" I asked.

"A white elephant gift for my firm's holiday party, Luca, and a few of my friends."

"Okay, so not a lot then."

"Nope not like last year."

"Why was last year a lot?"

"I don't even want to tell you how much I spent."

I grinned. "How much did you spend."

"I don't want to talk about it."

I nudged Thea. "C'mon."

"Nope."

"Okay fine. Why did you spend so much last year?"

"Because I was dating that asshole Mark. He kept spending more and more money so I felt like I had to." Thea grimaced. "Guess money can't buy love. The Beatles lied to me."

"I don't know, I happen to think that presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It's like this tangible thing you can point to and say, 'hey man, I love you this many dollars worth.'" Thea's expression was blank. "You've never seen The Office?"

"No."

I stopped walking. "I don't know if I can be fake dating someone who doesn't love The Office."

"Here we go," Thea muttered.

"What?"

"You and your little antics."

"What does that mean?"

"You and my brother are so dramatic."

"We are not!" Thea made a face. "But I swear to God I will walk out of this mall if you don't watch The Office."

"I rest my case."

"This isn't court room number five, dude."

"Everywhere is court room number five if you try hard enough."

"Is this what you're going to be like at the party?"

"Oh, absolutely. I told you you didn't want to go with a stuffy lawyer."

I thought a moment. "It's fine. Just be your snarky self to Monica and everything will be great." Thea chuckled and we waltzed through the mall, popping into different store while Thea perused and pulled seemingly random items from the shelf and into my arms.

"You at least have to watch the Christmas episodes with me," I said after a couple hours of being dragged around like Thea's pack mule.

"What?"

"Of The Office. You have to watch them with me."

"I don't have to do anything."

"You can never make anything easy, can you? You always have to say no and then make me wear you down."

"Nothing in life is easy."

"I am literally asking you to watch tv with me." Thea shrugged and put a huge coat in my arms. "How are you and Luca even related? You're the exact opposite! He would have said yes instantly!"

"Then I guess he should've been your fake date, huh?" Thea said with a smirk. I couldn't help but smile back.

We wandered into a cute little store with beautiful glass blown ornaments, hand crafted buildings for a tiny North Pole, and breathtaking snow globes. Thea wandered over to the globes and lost herself in the world of artificial snow. I admired the tiny buildings that created Santa's workshop, amazed at the detail.

"I had no idea you ever actually left the office."

Thea and I both turned around instantly to find a tall man in an outrageously expensive suit for mall shopping standing in the doorway of the boutique. Mark, the ex-boyfriend, flashed us both a huge smile of perfectly white teeth.

"It's hard to find to leave when I have to clean up after you," Thea retorted and returned to the snow globes. She picked up one and examined it closer.

Mark was unperturbed by the dig. "That temper of yours is why we broke up."

Thea gently set the snow globe down and slowly turned her head to glared at him. Fear was struck in my heart and I knew instantly that I would never, under any circumstances, do anything to warrant the look Thea used to pin Mark against the wall. "Actually, the reason we broke up was because you're actually an asshole."

Mark laughed humorlessly and began his retort, his face twisting in rage in a way that only the hatred of bitter exes could conjure. Naturally, I decided to step in and diffuse the situation before it ended in Thea breaking a snow globe and stabbing Mark with the shards of glass.

"That's not what you told me," I said loudly, stepping closer to Thea and wrapping my arm around her waist. They both looked from my face to my arm around Thea's waist in confusion. "I thought you said the sex with him was so bad that you switched to girls."

Thea's mouth popped open in a silent laugh and Mark's face burned red, a vein popping in his forehead. I stuck out my hand like I was oblivious.

"Hi I'm Louise, Thea's girlfriend." Mark eyed me, his eyes bouncing across my face like he was trying to register the memory of my face. I didn't think Mark would remember me, because even on the few occasions we'd met he was both too drunk and too self-centered to remember much of anything else except the suit he'd worn. He'd also refused to hang out at Thea's apartment with us.

Mark looked back and forth between the two of us, his mouth flapping open and closed like he wanted to say something. Thea seemed to catch on once she saw Mark's expression and she slide her hand into mine. His eyes trained on our intertwined fingers. Slowly, he reached out and shook my hand.

"You're gay?" he asked Thea.

"I don't know if she was when you were dating, but she definitely is now. Really, I have to thank you Mark. Without you I don't know if Thea would have given me the time of day. Anyway, we really should be going. It was so nice to meet you Mike." Mark blinked but didn't say anything. I turned Thea back to the snow globes and pointed to the one in her hands earlier. "Is this the one you want?" She nodded and I brought it to the cashier, who wrapped it in brown paper and gently placed it in a bag, which I handed to Thea. I grabbed her hand again and led her out of the store. We passed Mark again on the way out. He hadn't moved.

Once we were a few stores down and made sure Mark hadn't followed us, we burst into laughter.

"Did you see his face?" Thea gasped between breaths.

"I sure did. Totally worth it."

"That was hilarious. Thank you. I really needed that."

"Any time. You've already so graciously agreed to be my fake girlfriend, so I figured the least I can do is agree to be yours on the occasion that Mark appears."

"You know what? I might drag you along to my company holiday party just to rub it in his face a little more."

"See? Now you understand why I need you!"

Thea laughed but agreed. "Yes, I understand. If Monica is anything like Mark. . ." Thea shuddered.

"Exactly!" I said. We walked by the food court and the smell of melted cheese and freshly baked dough wafted through the air. "You want a pretzel?"

"Absolutely."

We bought a pretzel and sat at a plastic mall table to eat. We tore of little chunks and dunked it in hot, melted cheese.

"How much do I owe you for the snow globe, by the way?" Thea asked between mouthfuls of pretzel.

I waved her off. "Nothing, it's on me."

"No, I can't let you buy it."

"Really, I don't mind. I want to buy it for you." Thea looked like she was going to argue more, but I stopped her. "Really, Thea. I'm happy to buy your snow globe this year. Consider it a thank you."

"It can't be a thank you when you're already doing stuff for me."

"Can I please buy it for you? I want to. Not for any favors or as a thank you, but because I genuinely would like to buy it." She looked at me for a moment and her eyes waived with tears. I reached across the table and squeezed her hand.

"Thank you, Louise." She was silent for a moment. I smiled at her and offered her a napkin which she used to dab her eyes. "I think I will watch The Office with you."

I grinned and pumped my fist in the air. "Yes! Now hurry up, we have a lot more shopping to do!"