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"Jaehyun, I'm nervous."

We were sat in my room. Just picking at my clothes, talking about random things. For an hour now, we avoided bringing up going to the house our parents had moved into. After our get away, they had moved hours from our original home.

There was a slight pause in movement. Deep down I knew he was nervous too. Because no matter how strong and tough and perfect he tries to act, I know him better.

He was just as terrified as I was.

They didn't just destroy me, they destroyed him as well. He had taken care of me for years, wasting his own youth and life for me. So many opportunities turned down because he wanted me to have a parental figure. The love and the warmth we never really got.

And for the rest of my life, I'd feel guilty for holding him back.

"There's nothing to be nervous about, Dae. I'm here. And I'll always be."

He smiles at me and continues to put some clothes to the side for his own bag.

Anyone could see the small fall of his face. Even for a split second, I could see his own doubt.

You don't always have to be strong, bub.

I scoot over on the floor to where he is sitting. I snake my arms around him and lay my head on his back.

"And I'm here for you too, Jae. Through all your doubts and worries."

I feel him sigh. I know what I say won't really change the way he feels. But I can only hope.

"Go wash up and put some pajamas on, Taeil said he was gonna come over and cook us a good leaving meal."








Jaehyun's POV
16 years old



"Jae, are you going to your friends again?"

"Yes, I'm sorry sweetheart. I've got work to do."

"Are you gonna be gone for three days again?"

"I don't know."

I turn away. I couldn't look at the sad look on my baby sister's face. I quickly head out of the house. Hoping that Mom or Dad don't see or stop me.

Jungwoo's house was my safe place. My home away from whatever you call the hellhole I live in. Everytime I leave, I feel free.

Free from the high expectations. Free from the constant criticism. Free from the overwhelming weight of the perfectionism that I'm forced to try to fit into.

One wrong move and it's hell from both of my parents.

Verbal abuse was my mother's specialty and punishment was my father's.

I had a loving and warm place at Jungwoo's.

I wasn't expected to parent no sibling, I didn't have to be anything my parents forced me to be.

I was just Jaehyun. Not the Jeong Jaehyun that everyone thought had a perfect house, perfect grades, perfect parents, and a perfect life.

I was accepted and loved like I was the Kim's own son. That was my escape.

The only thing that ate me up was leaving Daehee.

Not like they'd let me take her anyways. I hope she's safe.

God, I hope they don't hurt her. I'd regret that for the rest of my life.

Don't worry, I'll get us out. I promise.


















︎▪︎▪︎
a bit short,
but don't worry
I have a plan.

I published
the first part
of my new
nct/stray kids
book so maybe
go check it out
🥺👉🏼👈🏼

it's called
sticks and stones.

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