His Snowflake

Chapter 9 -Taking It

"And the trouble is if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

-Erica Jong

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Trevor's POV

Get married to Alana?

Dad seriously what were you thinking...

My mind kept on replaying what had happened earlier in the day. I didn't mind marrying Alana. She really enticed me and I would love to find out more about her. However, I just feel that I want to get married out of love and not just because of business.

I just couldn't sleep that night. My mind kept projecting Alana's face and all that I thought was how beautiful she was.

Marrying her is not that bad of a plan...

My mind was fighting with my heart. My mind insisted that marriage wasn't business but my heart wouldn't listen.

My head was filled with thoughts and my heart was heavy. I seriously couldn't sleep that night.

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I was diagnosed with insomnia when I was 18. That year I had a really important exam to take that would determine what university I would go to. I was really stressed out and had many sleepless nights overthinking about how I would disappoint my family.

I was prescribed sleeping pills and took them regularly along with keeping a sleep journal to track my journey to recovery. Nothing worked. My body had consumed so much sleeping pills it just didn't work one day. I'm still wide awake as ever.

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I tossed and turned in my bed, hoping sleep would just come, allowing me to temporarily take a break from life. I prayed for sleep since the last time I slept was about 2 days ago. My body was tired but it didn't want to sleep. No matter how badly I begged whatever God out there to grant me sleep, it never came...

I realised waiting for sleep was useless and changed out of my pyjamas into a oversized black hoodie and grey sweatpants and went out of my house.

My heart had already decided on where I should go.

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Alana's POV

"Mum! Hold on to my hand! I will get us out of here!" I screamed while stretching out my hand for my mother to reach.

My mother grabbed on to my hand and I try to pull her up towards ground level from the basement. However, I see her hand slipping away and falling down in slow motion. Before I could try again to help her, burning wood dropped, separating me and her.

The wood was about to crush down on her...

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"AHHHHS! NO...PLEASE!..." I jolted awake.

Another nightmare...

Another reminder it was my fault I lost my mum...

Nearly every night, that day would haunt my sleep, leaving me absolutely helpless. It's been too long since I have had a peaceful night's rest.

I curled into a ball and started to rock myself, trying my best to calm myself down as well as try to get rid of the hurricane of emotions trying to be let out.

I am strong...I can do this...

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After a while, I tried to go back to sleep but failed. My eyes were wide open and my heart was papillating with fear. I really did not want to go to bed now...