SuperCorp// No more Secrets

Utter Silence

Kara's POV 

The air is so brittle it could snap, and if it doesn't, I might. No-one speaks, what is there to say? Platitudes won't cut it right now. A few months ago, we were all anyone was saying, anything to ease the terrible burden of worry. Tension. Guilt. Regret. Pretend hate. Maybe not pretend. Perhaps longing hidden behind the mask of hatred. Perhaps. Possibly.

I can feel the fear in my chest waiting to take over. Perhaps it only wants to protect me but there really isn't any danger. It sits there like an angry ball propelling me towards anxiety I just don't need.

It's just Lena isn't it?

Nothing else to be afraid of, It's just her, a-and me,

In the same room, at her place. Alone. 

Absolutely nothing to worry about... right?

Third-person POV

"Kara," it's a whisper, a prayer wrapped in a name. The Luthor's heart constricted painfully, and she banished all rational thoughts and concerns of 'am I even allowed to touch you'. She knew she couldn't change the past, she couldn't control the future, but at that moment, in the moonlight barely filtered in through the blinds, she had her back. Even if it was just for a mere minute that Kara looked at her like she was her everything. And Lena took it even if it was selfish, she took it even if lasted no more than a few heartbeats.

The Luthor's hand hovered above Kara's, unbidden, and before she knew she was cupping her cheek, desperately praying Kara didn't move. 

And then there it was, the Kryptonian's heart beating a loud steady thrum against her ribs and for the millionth time, she wondered if she was strong enough if she was brave enough to handle all of it. All of her. Was it too soon? maybe. did she want to? yes, yes she did. Absolutely yes.

She felt slightly faint and so she held out a hand to the wall to steady herself so as to regain her composure (can you believe it?..a Kryptonian weakened by a Luthor?... I certainly can)

They watched each other in silence, the seconds, the minutes, they continued to tick. Then Kara's mouth formed Lena's name, but she didn't make a sound.

So much needed to be said, but neither dared to speak

It was as if the silence between them was so fragile that neither dared to touch because if they so much as moved close to it or whispered, it'd break.

And so, they didn't dare utter a word, but so much was being said. Their movements slow and unhurried. Fast but not fast enough, loud yet no sound was heard, the longing, the waiting. Oh, the waiting. Too much to take it.

One more step, just one step for the other to reach the other's hand. But neither took the step. They just stood there holding their breaths, til Lena gave in and filled the space separating them. 

"Kara?" 

"Hmm?" She responded absentmindedly as she rubbed her thumb over Lena's hand

And for a moment the Luthor forgot what she was going to say because she was so tired. She was so tired and for the first time in forever, she wasn't afraid. She could feel fear licking at her heart, fear that Kara would leave again, fear waiting to be let in but she was steeling her soul, she was refusing to let it overtake her. 

"Do you think.....do you think we could talk?...abo...about us?" the response didn't come immediately

Again, for a moment, neither of them spoke, and Kara willed herself to, only because despite her anger, she knew she loved her. "Lena... I-I can't" she paused, "I'm not ready. But I want to, I want to be ready" she finally said it

"I know" the Luthor admitted for the both of them, then she continued to ask the question she'd been longing to ask all night, "Do you hate me?" 

"What?" Kara asked perplexed by the insinuation, not believing her own ears

"Do you hate me?..." there was a long pause before she went on "for what I did?" she finally managed to say it out loud

"No. Never" Kara replied firmly, then assured even more, "I could never hate you, Lena. Never"

The certainty in Kara's words took Lena by surprise, the statement had been said as a matter so factly, there was no shred of doubt, and it was 100% evident through Kara's eyes.

And then there it was again. Silence. But this time, it wasn't for long. "Lee...," Kara called her voice low and soft

The name itself was more than enough to grab the Luthor's attention.

Without responding out loud, she raised her head to meet Kara's eyes gazing at her, giving Kara the chance to continue her thoughts, "I came here because of Lex"

Well, that was disappointing and hurtful, but Kara didn't need to know that, "Oh" Lena reacted

"Do you still have his diaries? from when he was put in jail and his belongings were brought to L-Corp?" she asked

"Yeah, I kept his diaries, most of them are about his hate for Superman and others are about my project-failures as a child, other entries are about our childhood and Lionel" Lena explained most of Lex's entries, "why do you ask?" she continued to ask

"He might've written most of his plans in his recent entries before we caught him the last time"

As Kara was explaining, Lena seemed to be in deep thought taking in the information and processing it as if she was now connecting the dots. 

"Yeah I think you're right, there are some entries I didn't understand because they never happened and now I'm starting to think that they are yet to happen" Lena clarified

Before Kara had a chance to respond to Lena's statement, someone was talking to her through the coms, she definitely didn't miss that part (being dragged from a conversation) but you know 'duty calls'

"Okay I'll be right there" Kara had said then turned to Lena, "I have to go, they need me"

"Oh!, okay" was the only thing the Luthor could get out

"Tomorrow, come to the DEO so that we could go through Lex's entries, he needs to be stopped before he goes through with whatever big plans he has" before Supergirl left she had asked of Lena, "Okay I will be there" Lena only replied back

And it was the first time it ached, really really ached to see her leave in such a manner because in the physicality of the moment, in seeing that look on Lena's face, the look in her eyes shifting from curiosity, alarm, deep deep regret, anger, guilt, before tacit acquiescence, and fierce determination, Kara had seen and felt how Lena truly did not want her to leave.

But Lena had steeled herself, deeming her own needs and wants secondary to the safety and lives of other people. And of course, that made sense, she would have other moments with Kara and Kara with Lena to sort things out, but at that moment, she had felt the irreparable unfairness of it all.

A/N: Hey guys, hope y'all doing fine. Thanks for reading this story.