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BLURB:
Mahatma Gandhi had once said, "In a gentle way, you can shake the world." That is exactly what Shambhavi Sakshi Vyas wants to do.
Set in the backdrop of a fictional Army Academy the story takes you on the struggles faced by Shambhavi Vyas to become an Indian Army Officer. She wants the respect that she deserves, by earning it the right way.
She finds friendship, loyalty, and love.
She learns that not all men in uniform are jerks.
But what happens when her bitter past comes back to haunt her, risking everything she had longed for. Secrets are to be revealed. Obstructions emerge.
Secrets that threaten to break the reality of her life; obstructions that can throw her off course.
Hop onboard to witness Shambhavi, as she embarks upon a journey that is no short of an adventure than climbing a mountain the first time.
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YOUR COVER: (6/10) Your cover is very basic and minimalist. It doesn't look like a lot of effort has gone into it. How can you experiment with the font, and how it's presented? What filters can you add to the photo? I suggest that you request a new cover from a cover maker on Wattpad.
YOUR TITLE: (7/10) The title is fine as it is, but it's also generic. It doesn't help your audience understand what your story is about, or give it an aura of mysteriousness. You can leave it as it is, but I suggest finding a new title. It can be a quote from your story, a symbolic object, or relating to the moral/theme of your story.
YOUR BLURB: (2/5) The first main problem I see here is that your blurb is too long. Most of the information here is completely unnecessary, and you could restructure most of your sentences. A blurb is very important, as you're using this opportunity to showcase your writing skills to potential readers. You could brush up on your grammar (unnecessary commas) and your blurb didn't make me want to read your story. What is the principle plotline of your story? What is the main problem, and what's in the way of success? Those are the two things you should be including. Saying that secrets will be revealed and obstructions will throw her off course is a generic phrase often overused, and secrets and obstructions are in every story. This doesn't help your reader learn anything new. So she wants to become an Indian Army Officer. I suggest that you establish that she wants to become an Indian Army Officer, her motivation for it, and what's in the way of her success.
YOUR HOOK: (5/5) I really enjoyed reading your hook. It was well written and free of any grammatical/spelling errors. Your use of diction also enhanced the quality of your writing, and I like how you threw me right into the story.
