Never told you

Abyss

I came in the balcony and am seeing the sky. It feels like years when I got time for myself.

"Moon, you have no idea how much I missed you."

I remember when I was unable to sleep as a kid, my grandpa used to ask me to count the stars and then I would become so busy counting that I couldn't make out when sleep took over me. Childhood is so precious. Everybody loves us and without even saying, we get what we want. And the most important is, we are out of the conspiracies of this evil world.

"What are you looking at?", I turned to my left and found Shi Jin standing beside me.

"When did you come?"

"When you were busy throwing your love at the moon," he tittered.

"Oh! I was just finding shooting stars."

"Shooting stars? You still believe that it will make your wishes come true?"

"When I was young, I and my grandpa used to see shooting stars everyday. I believed that our wishes will come true but as I grew and studied about them, they are just rocks. Science destroyed my childhood faith. And from that day, I stopped going in deep study about such things. Because in the end you will only get disappointment and that's it," I said while still glaring the night sky. I don't want them to disappear in front of my eyes.

"I have a question. How can you be so good in this evil world? Don't you regret being good even if everybody hurts you? Don't you feel like taking revenge or something?"

"Having a soft heart in this cruel world is courage, not weakness," I sighed. "You get even more stronger when you have a reason to live."

"And what if our reasons are only on the verge of dying?"

I smirked sarcastically at his remark, "then you become even more furious to save it and that's life. We loose what we have and then cry for what can never come."

"You mean no matter what, you are gonna be happy with your life?"

"Who said? Is there anyone who is happy with his or her life? But still we hope that tomorrow will be better and nothing changes. The life you are living now is also a dream of millions so always be satisfied with it and be happy in every moment. The time you are living now, won't come again, make it count," I paused. "The world is not perfect but it is there for us, doing the best it can. And that's what makes it damn beautiful."

"Life is not a fairy tale princess. If good is there then evil is also there. But still people like you never stops to smile."

"You know why I always look happy? Because all the evil in here, reminds me of all the good out there. No matter what wrong others do to me, there must be a reason, no one is born a devil. Trust none except yourself because everyone leaves you in the dark, except for your reflection in the mirror, even though you can't see it. No matter what you do, someone will always talk about you. Someone will always question your judgement. Someone will always doubt you. So just smile and make the choices you can live with."

"Oh ok but why are you crying?", he came closer to take a closer look of my wet eyes.

"Do you remember the name of your first friend?"

"Of course I do."

"Your favourite places?"

"Yes."

"Your first day in school?"

"Yes."

"Your favourite food when you were a kid?"

"Yes I do remember all these but why are you asking me such questions?"

"Because I don't," my voice cracked like a biscuit.