IZUNA

0

She smiled because they smiled and laughed because they laughed.

She changed her coat to suit their many colours until she forgot her own.

Why? She wondered as her life flashed before her very eyes.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Was it worth it?

It was laughable, mainly because deep in her heart she knew the truth—-it wasn't worth it.

Nothing was worth her life.

So why did she try so hard to live theirs?

How come she tried to erase her own life to live like them? To erase her own being to become more like them?

She didn't even particularly like them.

She reaped no rewards from false friends and popularity. She found no joy in constant judgement and meaningless praise.

To fit in.

To fit in?

Was that it?

How...

How...

Pathetic.

What happened to the girl who dreamed of greatness?

What happened to the girl who reached for stars?

The girl who caught fireflies and wished to change the world?

She was special.

She was beautiful.

And then she was—-

She was—-

She was swallowed by her insecurities, conforming to the world until she lost what made her unique and was warped into someone unrecognizable.

She became—-

As dull, bleak, and boring as everyone else.

She didn't want to be dull, bleak and boring.

She didn't—-

She didn't and yet...

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.

It was almost funny how she remembered that line in particular.

"You like Hamilton?"

"Uh, do you?" Yes.

"Of course not. It's stupid."

Oh. "Haha, yeah, I don't like it either."

But—-

Why the hell did I say that?

She loved Hamilton.

She was always saying things that weren't true.

"I hate you." She said to her baby brother—(no, no, no I didn't mean that)—in front of all her 'friends'. "You're annoying. Leave me alone. Scram."

Hurt flashed through her brother's eyes.

She regretted the words immediately as she said them but did not take them back. Not in front of her current company.

Why the hell did I say that?

Please don't cry...

(10, 15, 19, 8)

(What's that?)

(You'll see!)

She shut her eyes and counted down from ten. Maybe then everything would disappear. Maybe then she'd wake up and realize this was all a bad dream.

10, 9, 8...

It's too late...

Late. Late? She was always late.

Late for class.

Late to learn.

Always too late to apologize.

[How tragic... She never got to say goodbye.]

8, 7, 6..

I'm scared.

Fear was the reason she was in this mess in the first place.

If only—-

If only she weren't such a coward.

[She'll learn to be brave. She'll have to if she wishes to survive her second life...]

6, 5, 4...

Let me live. Let me live. I'm not ready!

[I have no choice but to cut her time short. Her spirit is needed elsewhere and cannot be split between two worlds.]

4, 3, 2...

2...

2?

Right... two...

What came before two?

[She isn't perfect. Far from, in fact, but she is the only—]

1

She came from zero.

And to zero she returned.

[I'm sorry.]

Swerve.

Screech.

Crash.

She died instantaneously upon impact.

...

Hovering over her body, hidden from all bound to this reality, the Sage of Six Paths crouched down beside her despairing soul which was quivering in grief. He lay a hand on her ghostly shoulder and gave her strength as she watched her former vessel being carried away on a stretcher.

[I'm sorry...] he said mournfully though her ghost could not hear his apologies, [but it needed to be done.]

She couldn't hear him.

Part of him was glad.

[With time she will mature... and once she does perhaps she can change the fate of my world for the better.]

Was it worth it? Asked the Shinigami, Killing this poor child early and breaking all the rules?

[Its regrettable.] The Sage said, [But my world needs her. And if breaking the rules saves my world then I will a thousand times over.]

The God of this world will be furious you trespassed on his domain.

[The Lord of this world is just and merciful.] the Sage refuted, [He will understand.]

The Shinigami remained sceptical but said nothing.

The Sage have a long sigh then smiled slightly.

[Thank you for doing this, my oldest friend.]

Death is impartial. I didn't do this for you. The Shinigami corrected sternly.

[then why...?]

It huffed.

Why indeed.

They collected the girl's soul and vanished.