Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

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"Knock, knock," I said when I opened the door to the Amato apartment. Thea was in the kitchen cooking breakfast; it smelled great. "Good morning."

"Morning," she said keeping her eyes on the pan. I walked into the kitchen and placed her coffee next to her. "Thank you."

"Anything for you."

A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Hungry?"

"If you're offering. What's on the menu today?"

"Breakfast burritos."

"My favorite."

We sat down at the counter and ate.

"I have to say, this whole fake dating thing has really brought us closer; our friendship is thriving now," I teased.

"We're not friends."

"You keep saying that, but everything we are doing says otherwise."

"Is that so?"

"Totally. We hang out every day now."

"Because you bring me coffee."

"And suddenly you're cooking me breakfast." Thea narrowed her eyes but I smiled, unperturbed. "We're friends now. By the way, your favorite Christmas band is Pentatonix."

Thea quirked her eyebrow in what was becoming her signature 'Louise' look. "You're scared of spiders."

"Spiders are actually the creepiest thing in the entire world."

"So who kills the spiders in your relationships?"

"That is probably the only downfall of being gay: if both of us are scared of spiders then we just have to burn the building down. That's always a first date question for me though, because I can't marry someone who is scared of spiders; someone has to kill them for me."

Thea laughed. "You're serious?"

"Yes I'm serious! I won't date a girl if she's scared of spiders."

"That's ridiculous."

I shrugged. "You're lucky: you'll always have a man to squish the spiders."

"I squish my own spiders."

"Of course you do. Why would I think otherwise?"

Thea smirked and continued to eat.

"Is there any reason, ever, that you would need someone else for something?"

Thea considered my question for a moment then shook her head. "Nope."

"Miss Independent." Thea looked at me and I took this as encouragement to dive into a terrible rendition of 'What Happened to Miss Independent', singing very loudly and off-key. "Miss independent / Miss self-sufficient / Miss keep your distance / Miss unafraid / Miss out of my way / Miss don't let a man interfere, no / Miss on her own / Miss almost grown / Miss never let a man help her off her throne."

"Dear, God. Please stop."

I threw my head back in laughter. "You may not need anyone, but honestly: what would you do without me?"

"So many things."

I grinned at her and she held my gaze. Suddenly we found ourselves in a staring contest. I blinked first, because sometimes Thea could look at a person like she was Medusa.

"You know, every time we reveal how much we know about each other it just proves my point that we're friends," I said after a few more bites.

"Or that you hang out here too much."

"You love having me around."

"I don't know if that's quite how I would phrase it, especially if you sing Kelly Clarkson again."

"Just wait until you hear my karaoke of Kelly Clarkson's entire Wrapped In album." Thea eyed me wearily. I leaned over and pulled her into a big side-hug. She groaned with protest and pushed me away. "You love my company. You can't fool me." I stood up and put my dish in the dishwasher. "Thanks for breakfast, Thea Dearest. Breakfast has definitely been the best perk of this whole thing."

Thea hummed unenthusiastically, like she was suddenly regretting every decision that put her in the realm of possibility that I would sing again. I blew her a kiss from the door and left laughing. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but every day this week when I arrived at work I felt like I was in a much better mood than usual. It was probably all the Starbucks coffee I was buying.

When I sat down at my desk, my phone buzzed with a text from Luca.

Luca: I hear you're replacing me.

Me: Who would I replace you with?

Luca: My sister.

Me: Thea could never replace you.

Luca: I hear you're hanging out with her in the mornings when you drop off your coffee and you're getting dinner together Thursday?

Me: Thursday is a business meeting. We have to talk about our fake backstories which is vital to the success of our mission.

Luca: You have been fake dating for less than a week and you're already forgetting about me. What happens when you date her for real?

Me: Dude she's your sister. I'm not going to date her for real.

Luca: I've seen you checking her out.

Me: One time! I'd let you check out my brother if I had one.

Luca: But you don't.

Me: I'm not going to date her.

Luca: Sure.

Me: Are you mad because you weren't invited to dinner Thursday?

Luca: Yes I am!

Me: Do you want to come to dinner Thursday?

Luca: And be a third wheel? No thank you.

Me: You can't be a third wheel; we're not even dating!

Luca: This is when you guys start forgetting about me, the person who brought you two together!

Me: You're so dramatic.

Luca: And you're forgetting me.

Me: Ugh. I'll come over after work today and we can hang out.

Luca: Thank youuuu :) You have to start finding this balance now.

Me: What balance?

Luca: Of being in a relationship! You can't forget about your friends once you have a girlfriend.

Me: I don't have a girlfriend.

Luca: Yet.

Me: Are you trying to get me to date your sister???

Luca: I'm not trying. It's just happening.

Me: I'm not going to fall for Thea.

Luca: We'll see. Just so you know you have my blessing. Gotta go. Recess is over.

Me: What does that mean??

I waited for Luca reply but he was true to his word and disappeared. What was he playing at? I put my phone down and shook my head. Luca was ridiculous.

"Hey," Jim said, approaching my desk.

I pulled out my headphones. "Hey, what's up?"

"Just warning you that Monica's on one today."

"Isn't she always?"

"This one is worse: she's on a power trip. Something about a party."

I groaned. Jim gave me a helpless smile and returned to this desk. Not too long after Jim left my desk Monica materialized. She stood there until I was forced to acknowledge her. I pulled out my headphones with as much attitude as I could muster in the small movement.

"Hi Monica."

"Hi Louise."

"Can I help you with something?"

"We're having an office party next Friday."

"Yeah, I'm aware. I already RSVPed."

Monica laughed me off like I was a dumb child. "Not that one."

"There's more than one?"

"The party at the actual office on the 18th too. It's a potluck."

"I see. Isn't two parties in one day a bit much?"

Monica look scandalized by my suggestion. "Absolutely not! We're about to be off for the holidays and this is the most important time of the year for moral, sales, and overall happiness of the employees. Everyone is stressed out from deadlines, traveling, money, and seeing their in-laws."

"And another party is going to fix that?"

"Of course it is!"

"I don't know—"

"So what are you going to bring to the potluck? I've already signed up most people."

"Gee thanks for saving me for last."

"You were the last one here."

I felt my blood pressure rising. I truly wondered what happened when Thea met Monica. Monica was an unstoppable force. So was Thea. Would this finally be the moment when an unstoppable force met an immovable object? I should sell tickets to this event.

"My girlfriend and I have started having breakfast together in the mornings; you know, to make sure we're spending enough time together."

"You've been together for three years and you don't live together?"

"Of course not! What kind of woman do you think I am? We are a good, Christian, couple and we will not cohabitate until we are married." Monica was confused by my joke and didn't seem to know quite how to take it. "You put me down for desserts."

Monica recovered quickly when we ventured back into the realm of parties and planning. "We already have a desserts covered."

"Drinks then."

"Covered."

"Why don't you tell me what we still need?"

Monica looked over clipboard importantly. "We can use another side."

"Fine, I'll bring mac and cheese."

Monica scribbled something on the clipboard the smiled sweetly at me. "Thanks, Louise!" Before she left, she glanced at the picture of Thea and I.

I looked at Jim when Monica turned around and threw him an exasperated look. He silently laughed.

"She totally has it out for me!" I hissed at Jim when she was out of earshot.

He laughed. "Of course she does."

"Why 'of course'?"

Jim shrugged. "You're the only person in this office who doesn't roll over for her."

"Why do you?"

"It's easier to tell her 'yes' than to argue."

"Good point. I can't do that though. She annoys me too much. It's also fun to mess with her."

Jim laughed. "That was pretty funny. Did you see her face when you told her why you didn't live with your girlfriend?"

I grinned. "It's so worth it."

* * *

"I think I made a friend at work today," I told Luca when I settled into his couch with a glass of wine.

"I thought you hated everyone you worked with?" He said, sipping on his red blend.

"Hate is a word I reserve exclusively for Monica." I shrugged. "I don't know, I never felt like I had a lot in common with my coworkers."

"You've always had a chip on your shoulder though."

"What does that mean?"

"You always walk into a room like you're better than everyone else and don't want to give them the time of day. Then you get to know the room and you love everyone in it."

"That is not—"

"You hated me when you first met me."

"Touché."

Luca and I pulled out a deck of cards and played games, chatted, drank, and watched TV until Thea walked through the door a few hours later.

"Hey," Luca said.

"Hey, Thea," I said.

"You're here again?" Thea asked, hanging her coat on the rack.

"Nice to see you too," I said.

"Don't you have your own place?"

"I do, but I much prefer yours."

She rolled her eyes and went to her bedroom to change.

I turned to Luca. "Am I here too much?"

"She's just jealous she doesn't have a friendship like ours."

"It's true; what we have is very special."

Thea came back of the bedroom in a Christmas sweater, soft-looking plaid pajama pants, and slippers.

"Are you hungry yet?" Luca asked.

"Very."

"Okay I'll start cooking."

"I'll help," I said, following Luca to the kitchen.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Thea asked me.

"Luca said you're having spaghetti tonight; of course I am."

"I'm going to start writing you in to your bills: all of the food you eat and electricity and water you use."

"Excuse me, I already give Luca money." Thea blinked like she wasn't expecting that. "Checkmate." I turned back to Luca. "So how're the kiddos?"

"Oh you know, sticking candy canes up their noses while we rehearse for the Winter play. Other than that, adorable and I love them."

"Even when they put bugs on your desk?"

"Now there's too much snow for them to actually find bugs on the ground, so we're all on speaking terms again. By the way, are you both coming to the play?"

"When is it again?" Thea asked.

"Wednesday the 16th. It's after school, so you'll actually have to leave work on time." Thea gave her brother a look. "What about you?"

"Of course I'll be there," I said. "I love your students. The Christmas plays are literally my favorite thing in the world. They're so adorable."

Luca grinned. "It's probably my best work yet."

"You should have been a Broadway director."

"You're right, but this is second best."

We laughed and I prepared the vegetables while Luca heated the noodles and created a pasta sauce.

"Where are you two going on your date tomorrow" Luca asked.

"It's not a date," I said.

"You're picking her up and paying, aren't you?"

"Apparently."

"It's a date."

"Do you two talk about about everything?"

"Of course we do."

"Do you keep any secrets from each other?"

"Absolutely not."

"Does that mean she knows all of my secrets?"

"Yes I do," Thea answered from the couch.

I looked at Luca. "Dude!"

He shrugged. "You know I can't keep a secret. I tell Thea everything."

"Does she know about . . . ?"

"Yes, I know all about Fort Lauderdale," Thea said.

My mouth hung open in shock and my face turned bright red. "You told her about Fort Lauderdale?"

"Absolutely."

I looked at Thea who had the biggest grin on her face. "I know a lot about you, Louise Dearest. I told you yesterday. I think you might lose our little wager."

"I will never lose to you."

"Mhm."

"You were on the debate team in college."

"And you played soccer."

I glared at Thea. We were still tied.

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