One-shot Compilations

Last Day

I have changed dresses three times already and I don't like any of those that I have tried. I want to look good. Not because I am angry with someone. That's not even the reason, but that's the one I want everyone to think. I want to look good for... him. I don't have any problem showing my cleavage though, that shit is just the norm for me, but for some reason I don't want to show any skin. I want to look simple yet... pretty.

"Bahala na," I said as I wear the casual stripe blue dress na knee length na ilang ulit ko ng naisuot sa opisina. I feel like I am going to a church pero ewan. This is the only dress that I have that does not show my cleavage. Okay na 'to sa akin.

I faced the mirror and cursed loudly when I saw another pimple showed up. Nagski-skincare naman ako eh but this acne is giving me a hard time. The good thing is that hindi naman ganoon kalala ang sa akin kaya okay lang but it's still getting annoying. Hindi ko naman magive-up ang pagmemake-up ko because I enjoy doing it.

I started doing my make-up routine. I don't put that much base product on my skin. A face powder would suffice for me. I am more of a nude eyeshadow type of girl, blush on, eyeliner and most especially lipstick. Lipstick is like the most important part of doing makeup. Without your lipstick your makeup is incomplete. It's what every makeup guru says, different lipstick, different vibe.

I was done with my eye make-up at lipstick na lang ang kulang ng mapatingin ako sa phone ko. Why the fuck I am still playing this classical music? He doesn't even know. He made me search about it the other day when he talked about his favorite music. So here I am trying to vibe with it. When I heard classical music, it doesn't bring out any emotions in me. I know it's because that I am a lyrical type of person---if that's even the right term. I listen to music to stimulate my emotions and creative instinct. If I need to be sad to be able to write a sad chapter then I'll listen to sad music with sad lyrics. If I want to feel confident and happy, I would listen to trashy songs. If I like someone, I like to listen to RnB songs. I only listen to classical music when I need to concentrate on something. It doesn't have any lyrics on it so it helps me focus, but listening to him explaining to me about his favorite piece gives it a different meaning. I was in awe. I never really thought classical music can be interpreted that way. I like it when he shares something about himself. You would know he really it because his eyes would light up with excitement. Like a child receiving his gift on a Christmas day. He was so thrilled in sharing his favorite music.

Nate, same drill if I'll get there first. I chatted him. Saka ko binaba ulit ang phone ko para tapusin ang make-up ko. I always reserved him a seat. I don't want to do it at first kasi ayokong pagtsismisan but I just thought fucked it, I will reserve him a seat. He's too far away whenever he can't find one. I know he wants to be close with our colleague as much as possible. Nate is this popular guy at office na maraming nagkakagusto. He would actually get a lot of chat sa office and it pisses him off sometimes. I just laughed about it. I think he knows he's popular, but he doesn't know how people always want to have his attention. Well, that includes me.

I honestly don't think I would be attached to him or be even friends with him. First thing comes into my mind when I saw him was, he was way out of my league. We would never click. Ano naman ang macoconnect ko sa isang successful guy na kagaya niya? He has that stable income and he knows what he wants in life already. Like he's this mature guy na pakiramdam ko hindi niya maiintindihan ang pinagdadanan ng isang 23-year-old na galing sa isang mahirap na pamilya because he did not experience poverty himself. Turns out he's a crazy guy. Well, I admire his passion and dedication. I told him that. He's actually a good guy, but I also told him that being close to him is like tagging myself as a hoe in other people's eyes. That shit is exhausting me. There are times when I just don't mind it, but sometimes it still gets to me. It's making me conscious. I know he said that I should not mind it, but I cannot ignore the stares. I have been looked that way a long time ago too. I am very familiar with that judgmental stare when I got pregnant at a young age and it makes me feel so anxious.