coffee stains || dreamnotfound

twenty four - dream

i lull my head back, squeezing my eyes shut as a deep sigh escapes my lips. my eyes re-focus on the same spot on the wall i've been staring at for the past 20 minutes. it doesn't take long for my eyes to gloss over, and i force myself to blink. i've been sitting here listening to nick drone on about how oblivious i've been since he arrived at my door this morning.

"you weren't even listening to me, were you?"

his voice doesn't seem to quite grab my attention, but my zoned out state dies down a little as his words seem to be a little clearer.

george has been gone for two days now, and i haven't spoken to him once. i guess i still feel guilty, for pulling him in and then pushing him away, and i've been telling myself i deserve his absence for how badly i've been treating him; careless of his feelings. my mind wanders constantly to the thought of what could have been, if i had figured all of this out sooner, maybe i'd be in england too.

but instead, i'm stuck in florida, with the company of my own destructive thoughts. i deserve it. i wonder how he's doing, in england.

how many attractive men live in england? will george replace me with a stupid british boy? what if he finds his soulmate out there? is he actually okay, or did he travel to another country just to get away from me?

"when will he come back?" i ask, not expecting any sort of response from nick. worry is evident in my tone and i'm sure he can tell.

nick clears his throat from somewhere beside me, "dude, you're hopeless."

my hand tangles itself in my hair, the frustration of the situation i'm in quickly seeping through to me, "and you're not?" i ask, sarcasm lacing my voice and i can't suppress my chuckle at the sight of his face reddening.

"shut up." he pouts, not liking my reference to his blooming relationship with a certain boy. "this is about you."

i roll my eyes, "i have nothing to say. that idiot's in england, and he doesn't want to talk to me."

a wave of silence washes over us, and i avert my eyes back to the wall. i hear nick sigh again, and i can feel irritation bubbling slowly in my chest. i'm more than aware that this is all my fault, but he doesn't need to keep telling me.

"this is torture." i admit finally, falling back so i'm lying on the bed. i glare at the ceiling, and i'm sure it's pitying me.

"call him." nick suggests, with a small shrug. my brows crease together, it's not that simple. i shove him with my left hand, watching as he barely moves. we sit in another moment of silence, before he asks, "what about britt?"

a pull a face, "we're done." he matches my expression, and watches me intently to check if i'm being honest. when i stay quiet, a grin breaks out on nick's face, and he nods a little in understanding of the situation i'm in.

i want to remind him that he's not helping, but i stay quiet. with a heavy heart, i push myself up from the bed and slowly stride toward the door. nick's footsteps confirm that he's following me, so i don't stop. we wander into the kitchen, and i pour us both a drink.

my eyes light up as i take the glass in my hand, "cheers."

he frowns, but connects the bottom of his glass with my own, "to what?"

a knowing smile makes its way onto my face, "to us, and our idiocy." i state, a chuckle escaping my lips as he smiles back.

with a nod, he says "cheers!" before downing the contents of the glass.

we're hopeless.

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word count: 671
*in editing*
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when should i release my new dnf book? (:
update: i'm impatient so it's out tomorrow.