Faded

Chapter 13

Cassie barely slept last night. After Brandon stormed out of her apartment, all she could think about was Skyler. Everytime she'd close her eyes, the look of utter disbelief was sat on her face, the betrayal that made her heart burn behind her closed lids. Cassie wanted to find her, beg beneath her feet but she knew the last thing she would ever want to see is the face of the woman who slept with her fiance.

Or that's what she thought.

She was hunched over the kitchen counter dreading for coffee but the list of food and drinks to avoid would tell her otherwise,a list of prenatal vitamins she was supposed to get staring at her. Cassie was psyching herself up to get moving out to get them when her doorbell rang.

Who the heck would see her at 3 in the morning??

To her surprise, steering at the security panel, she sees Skyler. Chills run down Cassie's spine; she hurriedly diales Brandon's number. Ignoring the brashness of his voice, "She's here. Skyler, she's here." as she walks to the door. Cassie opens the door warily as Skyler starts to mutter an apology when god knows if there was anyone whos owed an apology, it was her.

"I'm sorry for just showing up like this." She murmurs, trying to keep her eyes away from my yet to exist bump , I ushered her into the living room seeing her trying to keep her gaze on my face instead.

God, she's so agonizingly beautiful, warm brown eyes, cute nose, thick lips, no wonder Brandon was crazy about her. Cassie's beauty combined with Brandon's would make one hell of a baby, I thought idly watching her shift uncomfortably on the couch, swallowing hard. Blinking, I remembered why I came all this way, why I came here. I wet my lips clearing my throat, disrupting the awkward silence. "I just needed to talk to you again. Sorry for just showing up."

"Skyler please, if there's anyone here who should be saying sorry, begging actually, it's me." Cassie says, scooting on to the couch reaching for my hand, her voice shaking. I wanted to draw my hand back but looking up at her, I saw sincerity. Honestly, I know I should be angry at her, I have every right to be utterly livid, but I can't even bring myself to be. All I could feel right now is pain and loss. Maybe that was me masking everything else.

She starts apologizing again, profusely. Her voice gets thick as sobs rise in her chest. But that instinct as a sworn physician kicks in and I couldn't help but speak out to stop her. "Hey," taking a deep breath forcing myself to finish a coherent sentence with impending sobs I felt a rise in my chest.

"Stop crying, it's bad for the baby." I placed my hand on top of hers. "I just came over because," looking back up meeting her gaze. "I wanted to tell you, personally, that I'm leaving."

Shock flashes across Cassie's face, continuing before she could say anything. "I broke off the engagement with Brandon that way he can take responsibility, for the both of you." Giving her a broken smile, the only one smile I could muster up right now looking her straight in her eyes. "So please take good care of yourself and the baby." dropping my gaze, squeezing her hand. "And him." I tried so hard but failed to hold the soft whimper that escapes my lips.

Cassie looked at me with a dumbstruck expression, her lips trembling as she tried to say something but the shock was making it difficult. She takes a deep breath trying again, brows shooting up as she plea. "Skyler, please. I don't even know if Brandon wants the baby-" she sputters, shaking her head vigorously. "Please, don't leave him. I'll go! You won't hear from me, I swear-" She shushes me falling into a full blown ramble, desperate to change my mind.

"Cassie , listen to me," I put my hand on her cheek trying to make her understand. "I can't tell you how many times Brandon has faked not caring for having kids, for my sake, when I can see how his eyes just light up around children." Fat streaks of tears dampen my face confiding about this out loud to anyone. "My heart breaks everytime he'd downplay his excitement when I get delayed or how hard he'd try to hide his disappointment when I get my period just to protect my feelings." My lips quivered at the memories that suddenly flooded in. No, I can no longer put him and myself through that. "You should see him around Claries and Tony's kids. He's hilarious and gets so overprotective." a bittersweet laugh escapes.

"I can't give that to him, Cassie. And you," I sigh defeatedly. "You're carrying his baby. And I know Brandon would love that kid with all his heart." Cassie fell quiet. Noticing her free hand gently ease down her belly caressing it.

"I'm letting him go so he can have a chance to have a family. With you. "

"But Brandon doesn't want to be with me, he loves you." Cassie mumbles. Here it goes again. She keeps saying that Brandon loves me like this would somehow lessen the pain I'm feeling. If anything, it makes the situation hurt more. Nodding to myself and wiping the tears on my cheeks, saying, "I know he does." eventually admitting, "But I also know he still loves you too. Otherwise we wouldn't have ended up here. None of this would be happening if he didnt still love you."

Brandon can deny as much as he wanted, but I'm not stupid. I know it in my bones. He can keep saying it to me or even himself that he loves me but there was a sliver of love there still remaining for Cassie, I can tell. Who the hell are we kidding anyway? He wouldn't have slept with her if he didn't, drunk or not.

That glimmer of hesitation that flashed in his eyes when I asked him to tell me that he doesn't love her was like a dive on a knife straight into my heart.

It was the way his eyes suddenly went soft then hard, as if he's having a battle within his own mind when I asked, he had uncertainty. That shouldn't have been a damn battle. Not even a struggle, no hair of doubt. Not when he asked me to fucking marry him.

"Do you know how hard it is for me to do this? Let the only man I love be with someone else?" I asked. "I feel like my heart is physically being ripped out of my chest."

"I'm really sorry, Skyler." she says again for what felt like the hundredth time since I met her. But I'm done hearing how sorry she is, all I need from her now is to promise me one thing.

Taking a deep breath, holding both of her hands saying, "Then promise me you'll love and take care of Brandon. Make things work with him, if not for me then at least for your baby." Cassie's tears spill from her eyes. Of course, she'd want that. But would Brandon?

My chin wobbled as I fought through the tears, urging to continue. "Promise me you'll love him even when it gets hard or even when it's painful."I shudder as it dawns on me that I'm really letting this woman have the only man I've ever loved. It was getting harder to look at her but steel my nerves meeting her gaze as I asked her what I never thought I'd ask another person.

"Do everything else that I would never be able to do for Brandon. Please? "

"Sky- I-" Cassie's brown eyes reflect sincere regret in them but no, my mind is made. This is the right thing to do, you tell yourself. "I'm leaving as soon as I settle things at the hospital. After that, you and Brandoni have the chance to start anew." I say, which reminds me that I still have places to be, things to do. I didn't wait for Cassie's response just gathered myself.

"I hope this is the last time we ever see each other, Cassie." I say, touching her shoulder as I walk past her.