Life Goes On | Jikook

Danger

TRIGGER WARNING: depression, bullying, self-harm, family issues suicidal thoughts, and abuse.

Danger - BTS

Chapter 5

(TRIGGER WARNING)

I walked up to my front door after having spent the last two hours with Taehyung and Hoseok but Hoseok seemed unusually quiet most of the time. I had wondered why but didn't want to pry into anything so I didn't ask about it. I opened the door and saw my stepfather sitting on the sofa with the lights on startling me for a moment.

Oh God, please don't do anything right now. Just let me go up to my room.

"Why the fuck were you out so late?" He asked, getting up and walking towards me.

"I-I had to meet up with my friend after school because of an assignment," I said looking down at the ground.

My stepfather suddenly grabbed me by the collar and shoved me against the wall with such force. My hip definitely sustained at least a minor injury from the impact. He started wrapping both his hands around my neck and choking me as I started coughing and my vision became a bit hazy.

"You better not be lying or I'll beat the shit out of you!" He yelled.

"P-please l-let me g-go!" I frantically shouted. He started choking me even harder for a few moments before dropping me to the ground making me hit my head against the chair.

"You're a fucking piece of shit!" is what he said in a burst of anger before leaving the house, no doubt to go to the casino.

I slowly grabbed my stuff and headed upstairs, closing the door behind me. I went and opened the drawer near my bed and grabbed the razor sitting there. I walked into the washroom. I noticed the bruise on my forehead, the purple marks around my neck. Tears escaped from my eyes as I took off my sweater and then brought the razor close to my skin. I felt that all too familiar feeling of the razor penetrating my flesh opening up an old wound with fresh blood pouring out. I started to sob, unable to control the overflowing amount of tears as I dropped the razor and looked at my arm. I was powerless against everyone and I couldn't do anything to stop all this from happening to me. Every day was a living nightmare as soon as I came home. I should have become numb to these feelings of anxiety, panic, worry, and fear by now but every day it felt as if I was feeling these emotions for the first time. A raw sensation. After a while, I washed my face and my arms putting on a new sweater. I went downstairs to grab some food. I didn't even bother to open the fridge, knowing most likely there wasn't anything inside. This feeling of been in danger won't disappear anytime soon.

(END OF TRIGGERING WARNING)

I ended up ordering pizza. I made sure to wear a scarf to conceal the scars around my neck when the delivery man came. I started eating the food and doing my assignment when I heard a knock on my door. I wore the scarf around my neck again, opened the door, and saw Jungkook standing there.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out before he could say anything.

"I needed my part for the project since I need to draw some pictures for it," Jungkook replied.

"You don't need to do it, I ended up doing it," I said, avoiding eye contact.

"What the fuck, why? I'm good at drawing, don't you know that?" He said, his voice rising a bit in anger.

"Don't you remember what you said?" I put my fingers up to quote "You have to do all the work because I'm not doing anything" I lowered my hands. "But if you still want it I'll give it to you," I said. I went to grab the stuff. It was unnerving to have Jungkook here, it reminded me of all the times he and I would hang out together at my house. I sighed, those were the good times. By the time I came back downstairs, Jungkook was standing right in front of me at the base of the stairwell. He looked me in the eyes but then he looked above my eyes at my forehead.