Potter? || Draco Malfoy x Reader

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Things didn't get much better after that.

There was nothing I had to worry about personally, and still, I felt stressed all the time.

My nightmares had gotten worse to the point where they were waking me up nearly every night.

So maybe staying all by myself at Hogwarts over Christmas wasn't my brightest idea, but I thought some alone-time might do me wonders.

I've been playing with the idea for a long time now, and registered with McGonagall at the beginning of December. Though, I didn't tell Harry about it until a few days before they were leaving.

He was furious with me. Especially after what we overheard that night, he didn't want to risk leaving me alone for almost two weeks.

He was a lot more protective now; a lot more concerned. I didn't think that was possible before, but clearly, it was. It was annoying.

I promised him I'd be fine without him for a while, that I'm capable of taking care of myself and that I would simply join him at the Weasley's if I felt like it.

But in all honesty, spending Christmas with the family reminded me too much of Sirius. Just thinking about it made my heart ache, and I knew it was better just to stay here.

Wren offered to take me in, too. Though, she understood and accepted my decision much quicker than Harry did.

"Whatever you're thinking about; Stop. Draco won't even be here over Christmas, so there is literally nothing to be worried about."

I revisited the conversation Harry and I had before he left. Repeating my words, and being a little too humoured by them when I saw the blonde sitting at the table for breakfast the first morning.

The Great Hall was empty compared to how it usually was during breakfast. I counted exactly five other Slytherin's at our table, none of them I had anything to do with. Draco included.

The other tables were just as empty. I was surprised to see not a single Hufflepuff was sitting at their table, and my chances of knowing anyone were pretty much zero.

Sure, I recognised a face here and there, but I've never exchanged a single word with any of them.

I sighed and picked up my pace again, taking a seat at the table far enough from anyone who thought it might be a good idea to strike up a conversation with me before I had my breakfast.

I felt Draco's eyes on me when I walked past his seat. I imagined he had an eyebrow quirked, wondering why I was here just like I wondered why he was.

The thought had never even crossed my mind before. Draco Malfoy staying at Hogwarts over Christmas while he usually so joyously made fun of other students for doing exactly that just didn't seem right.

I wondered whether it had something to do with the conversation Harry and I had overheard.

"I was chosen for this! Out of all others; me! I won't fail Him."

I've been thinking about his words more than I'd like to admit. I wanted to know what was going on. I wanted to figure it out myself. While all the while staying away from him.

At this point, it's been occupying my mind so often; I wasn't even escaping the thoughts when I was sleeping. If I wasn't dreaming about that night in the Ministry, I was dreaming about him.

And while not all of my dreams with him were good ones, all of my good ones were with him.

One in particular lingering in my mind more than the rest. One that made me blush whenever I thought about it; One that made me wonder what exactly was wrong with me that I still wanted him so badly.

I couldn't help myself, the vivid images shooting back into my head at the thought of them. The way his hands felt and his lips teased me all over my body. How dark his eyes were and the way he sounded; his heavy breathing.

The way he made me feel.

It wasn't a conscious action when my gaze snapped in his direction, but the images in my head were swept away as soon as my eyes met his; The sudden eye contact pulling me back into reality and reminding me that all that was quite the opposite of how things really were.

That my fantasies were nothing more than that. Fantasies. One's that made me want to pitch myself off the Astronomy tower with how embarrassing they were, actually.

I wondered if it was it still considered staring when we were both doing it? Or if I could just call it eye contact now in hopes it would make the whole thing less awkward.

The whole ordeal went on for a bit longer, and I was glad he was sitting far enough from me not to get lost in his eyes.

Maybe it was easier because they didn't have that certain spark in them; the one you'd see when he made a bad joke, when he came up with a particularly rare insult or when he was just being the sarcastic prat he usually was.

They were dull, instead. Surrounded by dark shadows under his eyes, eyelids heavy. His cheekbones seemed more hollow than usual, his skin paler.

All in all, he just didn't seem healthy. It was no wonder. This was the first time in a while I had seen him at the table at all. I didn't think he was eating much, if anything. It didn't seem like he was still taking care of himself.

He was broken, and I so desperately wanted to fix him.

I shook my head to snap out of the thought, reminding myself that he was the one who pushed me away. He was the one who begged me to leave him alone.

And I wasn't about to get on my knees and beg him to let me back in.

Even though it seemed like all he needed was someone, anyone, to talk to.

All I knew is that I'd be there to listen.

A/N: Little filler to let yall know what's going on in y/n's head. Action starts tomorrow!

I'm going live on my Instagram seselinamae in two hours! Talking about possible next books, what's happening with this one once it's done, Patreon and whatever else we can come up with LOL. Be there or be square! x