''I'm going to kiss you,'' he whispers, and he takes my bottom lip between his. His hand grazes my throat, gentle and light.
I fist his shirt, pulling him closer so his head tilts, his tongue touching the roof of my mouth.
My hands slip under his s...
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chapter thirty-three
Pat knew nothing of the darkness in my head that year. He just thought I missed Greyson and was having 'a bit of a rough time'. Raveena was more concerned, but at the time, she didn't know me as well, and didn't say anything.
One of my teachers at Bridgewood requested a parent/teacher interview with Pat at the end of the year. I had already failed. It was too late. And that's how Pat found out. That was the day I told him how sorry I was to have failed him. I let him down in the worst way I could have—I ruined my education, the one thing he's drilled into my head from the moment I fell into his life.
He was shattered. He didn't speak to me for a full week, and then when he did, I almost couldn't take the pain and hurt and utter betrayal in his eyes.
But we got past it. Somehow, we mended. It involved a vow of truth that we've both upheld ever since, and it involved me taking on a tutor that summer between my two tenth grade years. Pat had to work overtime since I lost my job just to cover it.
It was one gut punch after another after another.
There are still some things he doesn't know about, like Dave and the drugs and the tattoo. Cade's the first person I've told about that.
And I feel...lighter. I trust him.
Cade reaches for my hand again, uncoiling it from around my legs. He holds it in both of his hands and rubs his thumbs along my wrists. "You're pretty cool, you know that?"
Pathetic is more like it. Dishonest. Weak.
"Chapman?"
I close my eyes. Tears are gathering readily behind my lids like a dam about to crack, sending millions of gallons of seawater along the terrain below.
"Ember," he whispers. A hand brushes my cheek. I lean into the touch as he cradles my face.
I open my eyes and meet his soft, seafoam ones. I cover his hand with my own on my cheek. "Sorry," I whisper, my voice cracking.
He shakes his head. "Why?"
"I just...I feel bad. Your dad died, and you didn't do the messed-up stuff I did. And Greyson's alive. He's home right now. I should be...more grateful."
I'm ashamed, Cade. I'm so ashamed, after all this time.
He drops his eyes, brushing his thumb across my cheek. "Please don't apologize to me."
I reach up to raise his chin. Emotion swims in his eyes, too. "I care about you," I tell him quietly, waves in the background. "A lot. I have ever since that night. I've never hated you. I really, really liked you. I still do."
"I told you we shouldn't be friends," he whispers, leaning closer.
I finally know what he means. "Can I kiss you?" I ask softly.
