Seeing Grey - D.M

letteroflies

Hey chicks,

*There is mention of suicide and self-harm so please know your triggers and discomforts!*

We have an interesting chapter here...it's confusing at first but just trust me. It's going to explode:)

Narrator's POV.

It was every morning, she would get out her bed, have a shower and cry her eyes out until they would start to hurt. Burn almost, ache, to make them go red. She would fall too sometimes, sit curled up under the water, letting the water go boiling hot. Peeling her skin, hurting herself. She didn't want to feel the pain of knowing what her future was like from now on, probably alone, well not fully alone. But alone in her eyes. Having that as company wasn't actual company. It was more like tasks that she didn't even want and couldn't escape from.

Here it comes. She thought as her breath went short and the hot showers mixed with the rapid thoughts would cut her breathing. The hyperventilating would get louder. Crying for help, but she refused to let her roommate hear her. They would help.

This one was different, her breathing was cut off completely, nothing was there. She was in a vacuole. Hitting around the shower, she tried to stand up but her tears were so heavy that she couldn't see. The feeling of the world around you falling, getting further away was dawning on her.

She was going to pass out.

"H-Hel-" She fell again and just like that it all came at once, her breathing, the pain, her crying. Breaking down, she sobbed and laid sideways in the shower, not being able to move.

She needed help. She didn't want anyone. She couldn't wait until tomorrow.

~

Most things started to change. People were arguing more about what's going on, the duel and also about how everyone was always busy. They were splitting. Barely having time to talk to each other, they would only ever see everyone together is some classes or at dinner. Everyone having different time tables was difficult. The guys would be in their room or the commons and the girls would be in their room. Draco and Sienna would be gone or in his room, never with the group. Devon would only ever be with the girls.

"This has started since just before the match, I swear guys she going to break up with me," Nico sighed and took a swig of firewiskey.

"Nah mate," Theo leant over and grabbed the bottle from him, "Probably just a long ass period or some shit. Trust me, she's in freaking love with you," He took a swing too and passed it to Blaise to hold so he could tip the white powder onto the table and made a few lines with a piece of a ripped Christmas card.

Blaise held the bottle and look up to Nico, "Just talk to her. Make her a special evening, you know, make food, give her flowers, buy her chocolates. That type of stuff. They love all that cheesy shit," Both boys slowly look up at Blaise in shock and chuckled.

"And how on earth would Mister, I-don't-like-being-with-one-girl-can't-make-up-my-mind know? Not like you've been getting any," Theo laughs, stopping what he's doing to stare at the eye wide Blaise.

"No-no, I mean, I live with freaking Leena and she's a girl, plus she's dated them before so like she tells me these things," Blaise rushed out and blushed, "Oh fuck off, both of you. Move so I can do a line,"

Theo and Nico chuckled at each other and watched him as he rolled up a muggle ten-pound note, he held one nostril closed and let his body absorb the substance. He sat back and leant his head to wash down the back of his mouth taste with firewiskey.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll talk to her tomorrow," Nico took the rolled-up note from Blaise and did the same, "Where the fuck is Dragon boy at these days?" He said with his head facing up and took a deep breath.