Bad Decisions - Alex Turner

51. The Dream Synopsis

Ever since I'd been back in LA all on my own I'd been having variations of the same dream.

It would start with me waking into the Shangri La studio in Malibu and being directed through the rooms to where a group of people were recording some music. I'd then become aware of a weight clinging to my left side and find my lips pressing against the forehead of a little girl as I carried her into one of the studio rooms.

This part was always exactly the same: I would step into the studio and my eyes would find the silk covered back of a dark haired man sitting before a baby grand piano. Alex.

Upon hearing my arrival, he would turn around and smile that dazzling wide grin that stole my heart from my chest. As he stood from the piano, the little girl on my hip would exclaim out and wriggle from my grasp until I let her down. And I would watch as she ran as fast as her little legs could carry her over to Alex as he bent down and lifted her off her feet into his arms.

"Amour, darling. How are my two best girls?" he would always say. And from there the dream would take its own path depending on the night.

  It was probably heavily influenced by my longing for him during our separation by continents and oceans, along with the fact that I'd been babysitting both Saorise's baby and Matt and Breana's in my spare time to give them a bit of a parenting break.

  Matt and Breana were planning a weekend away for a bit of much needed alone time with each other. Which meant, at my offer, I was taking care of little Amelia for a couple of days whilst her parents kicked their feet up and got drunk like they hadn't in so long.

  That's probably where the baby fever really kicked in; and then disappeared as thick as it came when I realised that if I had a child of my own, I wouldn't be able to give it back after a weekend. Knowing myself, I knew I was nowhere near ready to be a mother any time soon and that I much preferred being 'Aunty O'.

  Alex called or messaged whenever he could. It was pretty obvious to both of us how much more we were missing each other since I visited. Having that sweet taste of what it was like to be by each other's side and then moved apart made the lust for one another more strained than it was before I left.

  "I miss you...so fuckin much," Alex sighed, lying sprawled in bed with nothing but the warm lamp beside him illuminating his tired eyes.

  "Careful, there's little ears listening," I warned as I sat back on Alex's 'settee'. Amelia was on my lap, playing with my hair.

  "Sorry," Alex chuckled tiredly. He moved an arm up behind his head, his muscles flexing ever so slightly. "When's Matt and Bre comin' back?"

"This afternoon," I said, smiling down at a giggling Amelia and then looked back at my phone screen to Alex.

"I'm sure they'll be very appreciative that you took the little one off their hands for a bit," Alex smiled.

  "Babysitting wasn't as easy as it was when you were here, I'll tell you that," I admitted. "But Amelia's been an angel so I can't complain."

  Alex rolled onto his side, the side of his face squishing into his pillow as his heavy eyes trained on the image of my face on his phone. The mound of white covers shifted around ever so slightly behind him and that's when I noticed that someone was occupying the other side of the bed.

  First came a cold flush that washed over my body. Then came that overwhelming sense of dread I used to know all too well. I almost dropped my phone but instead found myself clinging onto it for dear life. Suddenly, everything Taylor had said to me about touring seemed to become increasingly threatening. Swallowing the lump in my dry throat, I forced myself to say something before I internally tore myself to shreds.