LVII

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Some hearts early on for you!

I'm dividing this chapter into two parts 'cause if I do it in one entire part, it's gonna be hella long and I don't want my dear readers to accidentally miss a few details while reading (I do that often). Enjoy this two-course meal!

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Remus often wondered what it would be like to have kids. He'd seen the way Lily and James, and Alice and Frank had spoken about how excited they were, their happiness when thinking about their child. He and Sirius would go over to their house and see them setting up a nursery with a crib, painting the walls. He'd help pick out toys for them, help Myra take care of Lily and Alice whenever James and/or Frank had a mission. But he'd also seen the stress that Molly and Arthur went through because of their twins. Fred and George were a chaotic duo. Sometimes he thought that they were worse than he was in school. Occasionally, Arthur would turn up at the base with bags under his eyes, saying no other words except 'the twins'.

One day during lunch, he brought the topic up with Myra.

"Myra, how do you feel about kids?" He asked. She froze, glancing at him over their small table. She seemed reluctant to speak.

"I don't really want them," She muttered, not meeting his eyes.

"Why not?" He asked gently, reaching across the table and lacing their fingers together.

"It's just... I don't know how to be a mother. I've never had a proper mother figure and I don't want an innocent child to go through what I went through. I don't know how to take care of a baby, the best I can do is take care of a plant. I might accidentally wake them up in the night with my own screams. I already have such terrible nightmares and I don't want any child to wonder why their mother screams. I don't want them to wonder if their mother is crazy. And if they grow up, they might drift away, hide things from me. They might not trust me, might think that I'll judge them. If my child starts to drift away from me, if they hide things, I don't know if I can take it."

When she stopped speaking, she took a deep breath. "What about you? Do you want kids?"

"Um, yeah, I'd—I'd like my own kids, someday," He said slowly. "But I don't think I'd be able to have them." She furrowed her eyebrows, resting her chin on her hand.

"What do you mean by that?" Remus shrugged nonchalantly but he was starting to feel a slight sinking feeling in his stomach.

"It's just, I'm a werewolf, Myra. I don't want to pass it on to an innocent child."

"Remus, that's impossible." He opened his mouth to speak but she continued. "If a werewolf is in human form, they can't pass lycanthropy on. It can only be passed through biting. You have nothing to worry about." But Remus shook his head.

"What about the full moon? You can't have a werewolf in the same house as our children."

Wait, I didn't mean to say 'our children'. What if she feels pressured now?

Symphony || Remus LupinWhere stories live. Discover now