Stand By Me

Chapter Twenty

Niall sits on the dirt at the foot of the grave, his elbows rested on his knees,his shoulders hunched and head bowed down.

The funeral was a week ago to the day. It'd been quiet, uneventful. They hadn't hung around the cemetery for long afterward, they'd all gone home and bundled Niall up like he was made of glass.

He hadn't really felt upset though, not like he had been the day before. Just sort of...shut off, from everything.

He's feeling a little better now. Getting the funeral out of the way was a huge weight off, but he doesn't feel like he can move on yet - he knows he doesn't have to, he probably won't for a long time, but he wishes he could just get the next step over with and say goodbye.

But he can't. He just stares at the headstone, engraved with his mother's name, her date of birth and death, and the words beneath 'mother, daughter and wife'. Niall's glad they didn't stick a 'loving' in front of those words because she certainly wasn't that.

He huffs, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes for a moment and trying to rid the anger from his thoughts. He doesn't want to keep on being mad at her, especially when he knows the person he should really be mad at is Paul.

Knowing that today isn't the day to say goodbye, he pushes himself up from the ground and dusts the dirt off of his palms, turning around and walking away from the grave without so much as a glance over his shoulder.

He stuffs his hands into his pockets and keeps his head down the whole way home. He figures it must be around dinner time by now, but he can't be sure since he left his phone on his bed when he'd left - it had been around lunch at that point.

Hunching his shoulders up, he rounds the corner onto the street where he lives, still surprised at the amount of relief that always fills him when his house comes into view. Home always used to be something to fear, something to dread returning to. And now it's the opposite.

He walks in through the door, legs aching and body tired, all but ready to fall into bed, when Dad all but tackles him in a hug.

He flinches a little on instinct, then tentatively hugs the man in return, looking up at him with wide eyes when the man pulls away and holds him at arms length before patting him all over.

"Dad? What - what's happened? What's going on?" He asks, growing a little worried by the man's behaviour.

His Dad just looks at him in something akin to bewilderment.

"What happened? Ni, you never said you were going out! You didn't take your phone, you didn't leave a note, you just left. We didn't know if you'd run away, or -"

Niall shakes his head quickly, heart beginning to race at the prospect of being in trouble. They'll punish him for being so stupid, they'll have to. That's what parents do, isn't it? All of them, not just the bad ones like Paul and his Mum.

"I - I wouldn't run away, I - I didn't, I just - I went for a walk, that's all. I just went for a walk," he insists, eyes sincere.

Dads face softens then, and he lets out a sigh. "Okay. Okay. You...you should've told one of us, honey. You're twelve years old, you can't just disappear for half a day. You scared us all half to death. Your Papa's out driving around, looking for you, Liam's upstairs with Harry because he worked himself up worrying about you. You have to tell us if you want to go out, and let us know where you're going and for how long," the man scolds.

Niall swallows the lump in his throat, looking down at his feet and blinking rapidly to keep his tears at bay. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I - I didn't mean to - is - is Harry okay? I'm so sorry," he says quickly, lifting his head to look up at the man with wide, watery eyes.