𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 | 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲

A Valentine's Day Howler

authors note: am i projecting my hatred of valentine's day onto elodie? yeah. a little. flower crowns and chocolates to all the lovely people who read my words.

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

February 14, 1994

Elodie's dislike of Valentine's day had tripped by the time the day came to an end. She had woken up early, because Forrest told her he had a present ready for her and to meet him for breakfast.

He had already been waiting for her when she came down. Perfect hair, perfectly ironed shirt, perfect everything.

Of course, Forrest didn't know about her distaste for the holiday, so he got her pretty flowers, chocolates, and a sweet card. Like a perfect boyfriend would. Elodie tried very, very, hard to smile.

Maura kept catching her eye from across the room, grinning. The two girls had had plenty of conversations about how there were many things in this world more avant-garde than red roses.

"Thank you, love, you really didn't have to." Elodie smiled at her boyfriend. She gave him a light kiss, and suggested they walk to Potions together before the crowd for breakfast got to large.

Before they could walk away, however, a large red envelope fell onto Elodie's plate.

Her eyes widened. "Oh, no."

Red envelopes were somewhat of a bargain in the wizarding world. In 9 out of 10 cases, they were about to scream at you.

"ELODIE FLORENCE," The card yelled, clearing its throat. It had a red ribbon sticking out of it that looked like a fanged tongue.

"Did you get a howler?" Forrest frowned.

"I'm sure it's meant for a different Elodie, come on, let's go-" Elodie ushered him down the isle, but the card only followed them.

"HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!" The card shouted. Elodie turned. What?

It cleared it's throat again.

"ROSES ARE RED,

GRASS IS GREEN,

I WANT YOU IN MY BED,

SO I CAN MAKE YOU SCREAM."

Elodie's cheeks turned red. The entire great hall was staring at her. The howler proceeded to wink at her, and then rip itself into pieces.

It took every ounce of Elodie's common sense not to burst out laughing.

Forrest grabbed her arm. "Was that from-"

"He dies later, I promise you that." Elodie swore.

She wanted to find Fred now, but she wasn't quite sure what she would say. First of all: what in Merlin's name was he thinking?! But second- Elodie had loved it. It was like a big fuck you to the whole bloody idealism of Valentine's day.

"Let's just walk to Potions." She decided, giving a crude curtsey to the staring onlookers.

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

It turned out there was no need to find Fred at all. He and George were waiting for her in the Potions classroom, bothering Snape.

Elodie bid Forrest goodbye, and found a nice heavy book in her bag to smack Fred with.

*WHACK*

"Ow!"

"Aw, like father like daughter." George commented, earning a reproachful look from Snape.