Dating Hermione Would Include:

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Gryffindor

-You being Hermione's "baby girl"

-Getting on Hermione's nerves because you do dangerous shit

-Hermione forgiving you that same day

-If one of you is on their period, the other girl gives chocolate

-Back hugs and neck kisses

-Hermione being whipped for your whiny ass

-Hermione loving all the attention you give her

-You beating Malfoy's ass when he calls her mudblood

-Hermione rewarding you with kisses 

-You defending her against Severus when he's a bitch

-Both of you getting detention for that

-Both of you not giving a flying fuck because you two just makeout the entire time.

-You being a top, occasionally letting her top you, but it's rare

-Being the most interesting couple at Hogwarts


Hufflepuff

-You being Hermione's "sweet baby"

-You being sweet to her

-Hermione buying you chocolate when you are on your period

-Hermione showering your face with kisses

-You nuzzling into her neck and giving her back hugs

-Hermione protecting your ass from bullies 

-You being a top, surprising literally everyone

-You kicking Malfoy's ass, surprising everyone around you

-You ever so kindly helping Hermione study

-Hermione still being whipped for you

-Snape being extra gentle with you because you are sensitive and he actually likes you

-You and Hermione being a cutest couple at Hogwarts


Slytherin

-You calling Hermione "My bitch"

-Hermione turning red from that

-Hermione calling you "cocky little bitch" when you get too confident

-Hermione having you wrapped around her finger

-You being best friends with Malfoy, so he very smartly doesn't bully her anymore

-Neck kisses are a must

-You buying Hermione a bunch of chocolate when she's on her period

-Hermione is also whipped for you, I might add

-Hermione giving you back hugs

-You standing up to Snape when he sneers at her

-Snape reluctantly leaving her alone

-You spoiling her all the time

-You also very surprisingly being a bottom...

-Being the most badass couple at Hogwarts


Ravenclaw

-Hermione calling you her "little bird"

-You calling her "kitten"

-Her smacking your arm playfully for that

-You studying excessively with Hermione

-You tutoring Ron and Harry

-Hermione rewarding you with kisses

-You giving out sassy comebacks 24/7

-Draco avoiding you and Hermione becuase he knows you can very elaborately plan his death

-You and Hermione basically having photographic memory sense your dates are sometimes just studying

-Snape avoiding you and being somewhat nice to Hermione so you don't plan his death as well

-You being a switch because she gets some confidence around you 😏😉

-You spoiling Hermione

-Hermione shaking her head and sighing that you'd waste money on her

-You kissing her frown until it leaves

-You buying Hermione a good book and chocolate when she's on her period

-You two being the most intellectual couple


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