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I've always felt deep down that depression comes from the heart. Whatever it is that you feel manifests itself as a thought in your brain. It can't be quieted once the voice becomes so loud in your mind that you feel you might just end it all so that you can stop the madness in your head.
We walk around smiling, hiding the sorrow within at the thought of being misunderstood or labeled insane. We smile and pretend that everything is okay. But when I look in the mirror I see myself wanting to scream, hoping to somehow expel the pain that I feel. I feel boxed in, alone, numb.
The only glimmer of light is the pure selfless love my children carry in their smiles and eyes. It is what keeps me going, what pushes me to try and find a way to stay alive. Their innocence deserves so much better than the version of me I carry.
However, we can't all see the same. We each battle with different levels of depression in our lives. I close my eyes and see their tiny faces and think, to them I am worth more than gold, more than any toy. So I stay, I keep fighting for their love is pure and the only thing I am positive will help me carry on.
I am loved. I am wanted. I am worth something. To them.
