Thirty Five: Ophelia

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February 19, 2020
San Francisco, California

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BITCH!" 

I pull my phone away from my ear and cry out when Ara screams into the receiver. 

"Jesus Christ, Ara! You nearly blew my eardrum!" 

"Happy birthday!" she says again, much quieter this time. 

"Thank you," I say sweetly, rubbing my ear. 

"Are you excited for your surprise party on Saturday?" she teases. 

I roll my eyes. "If you guys give me a surprise party I will never forgive you." 

"I already told you. It's just a small get together. No need to worry about anything." 

"A small get together you and Rose have been planning for a month? Seems a little suspicious if you ask me." 

"We just have something big planned of you," Ara says innocently. "We want the party to live up to the present." 

I'm not the biggest fan of surprises. I like being surprised, but when I'm left wondering if I'm going to be embarrassed in front of everyone I know, I can't help but begin to hate them. 

"It's gonna be fun, I promise. Let yourself be excited. Don't overthink it." 

"I'm overthinking," I confess. 

"Don't!" 

"When's the party again?" 

"Saturday. Go get your hair color touched up and come home to fun. You're lucky I even told you about it, Rose wanted it to be a full surprise, but I knew you'd rather die." 

"Well, thanks for that at least," I mumble. 

"You're gonna like it. I promise." 

"Okay," I say. "I'm trusting you." 

February 22, 2020
San Francisco, California

"SURPRISE!" 

I jump at the sudden shouts the assault my ears when I finally enter my house with freshly dyed purple hair. Baby Violet starts crying at all the noise and cheers from the gathering in my living room. 

"Oh my god," I whisper, looking around the room. "I know you guys did not do this." 

"Hell yeah we did," Ara says, sharing a high five with Rose. 

Plastered all over the mid-size room are photos of Kim Seokjin's face. And I mean all over. 

There's a massive tapestry of him hanging behind the TV, a photo wall made entirely of photo cards, picket fans and posters and photographs hang everywhere, some even covering the ceiling. The soft cream paint is hardly even visible. It looks like Twitter in December 2018 threw up in my house. 

"Happy birthday!" Rose shouts as she hugs me. She wears casual clothes, but I don't fail to notice that she and everyone there has Jin or RJ on them somewhere. 

Especially my grandmother who rests in her new wheelchair wearing my RJ pajama pants, a shirt with Seokjin's face, sunglasses with red hearts over the lenses (just like Jin always wore during Wings tour), and an RJ headband. She waves her ARMY Bomb and shoots finger hearts at me. 

"What's with such a big party?" I ask around Rose's shoulders. All around me are my friends' family members. They smile widely at me, wearing their own Seokjin merchandise with indescribable joy and excitement written on their faces. My heart grows warm at the sight of all these people around me. Their families are my family, too; my fathers and mothers in place of my parents, my siblings to make up for the ones I never had. 

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