The One: Maxon

Chapter 7

I paced outside the Women's room, debating whether or not I should ask her to come out. Just as I was about to call over a maid to relay my message, America walked out nearly bumping into me. Her face fell when she saw me. It hurt, but I deserved it.

"I was just debating asking you to come out," I said with a nervous chuckle.

"Do you need something?" She answered sharply. Her gaze was cast to the floor, but from her tone I could tell her mood was not a bright one. I gulped and ran my fingers through my hair. America gave me a pointed look. "Well?"

"It's just...I was thinking about what you said yesterday."

"Which part?" she asked in a deadpan voice.

"So...there's a girl who is so in love me, she'd do anything?" I prompted. America cast her eyes down again in irritation.

"Yes."

"Not two?" I asked trying to meet her eyes. She looked up at me, her eyes becoming watery. Please say it, America. Don't you already know how I feel?

"You're the one who said you didn't trust me," she said. "The other day you made it your point to humiliate me and just yesterday, the mere idea of marrying me sent you into a fit a rage so excuse me if I don't really feel secure in our relationship right now, Maxon." Her cheeks and neck had turned red from her frustration as she huffed.

"You forget that I've never done this, America. I know...I was harsh, but I have no idea how to do this relationship thing. You've already been in one so you have someone to compare me to. I only get one chance so I'm going to make mistakes."

"I don't mind the mistakes," she said curtly. "I mind the the unreliability. Half the time, I don't even know what's going on and I feel like a fool for it." We both fell silent. "We keep doing this," she said quietly. I looked down, knowing she was right. "Every time we get close, something happens and you can never make a decision. If you want me as much as you say, then why isn't this over?" she practically whined.

"Because," I began, running my hands through my hair, "Half the time, I've been sure you're in love with someone else and the other half, I've doubted you could even love me at all." Guilt washed over her face. I frowned not knowing what to do about this information. She opened her mouth and I thought she was going to explain but instead she started to get upset again.

"As if I haven't had reason to doubt? You treat Kriss like she's an angel on earth, then I catch you with Celeste-"

"I already explained that. Why are you bringing that up now?"

"Cause it still hurt to see!"

"Well it hurts me how quickly you shut down," I said bringing attention to her guilt when I mentioned her being in love with someone else. "Where does that come from?"

"I don't know but maybe you should stop thinking about me for a while," she said.

I threw my hand up in exasperation.  "What does that mean?"

She shrugged. "There are three other girls here. If you're so worried about your one shot, you might want to make sure you're not wasting it here." With that she turned on her heel and walked off. I scoffed and walked away as well. Every time I try to talk to her, she just turns it on me and we never solve anything. I miss us not fighting. I thought back to my night with Kriss yesterday. What America doesn't seem to grasp is that the longer she plays with my heart, or is unable to clear her head and tell me how she feels, the harder it will be to let go of someone like Kriss who I'm building a relationship with. The longer she takes to come to a conclusion about us, the harder it is for me to grow a relationship with Kriss.
.........

That evening, we all had the decision to eat in our rooms. I took my dinner up to Celeste's room per her request to have my meal with her. When I entered, she was seated on the floor with her food on a coffee table.

"Come sit," she said patting the floor beside her. I placed my food on the table and awkwardly sat on my knees across from her. She must have noticed the quizzical look on my face and she threw her head back and laughed.

"I know it's a weird setup, but I used to eat like this back home when I had tea parties with my dolls. I know it sounds lame, but I didn't have many friends growing up. I was always moving to a bigger or better house because of my parents so my dolls held all my secrets."

I smiled. "We're quite alike in that aspect," I said. She smiled and looked toward the balcony. I noticed that she had decorated her room with light decorations that didn't really look Christmas related.

"You're jewish?" I asked cutting into my chicken.

"Oh, yeah. Not a real one though, obviously." When she wasn't putting on a face, Celeste almost looked serene. We had light conversation over our dinner before I stood to leave.

"About that night," I began.

"It's fine, Maxon," she said. "Just call for me whenever you feel like that again, I'll be here," she said winking. She kissed me on the cheek and gently pushed me out the door. I chuckled in surprise and rubbed my cheek as I made my way back to my bedroom.

It was so interesting to see each of the ladies one on one. Somehow, they were so different from their stage faces, each of them having a story to tell that none of the others knew.

//
I'm updating today instead of tomorrow because of the New Year. I hope you all enjoyed the holidays and happy new year!