Chapter 1

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Numb, this feeling all around me. Why can't I feel something? I don't care what it is, pain, happiness, or something. I just want to feel. To live. To see hope in my life without burden.

But life isn't easy like this. I remember my mother's words "Life isn't easy. You need to earn everything". This was her lesson to me. And she was right, life isn't easy, not to me.

At first, I tried my best to be my best, to love everything I do and cherish people all around me. But the universe was against me and took everything and everyone from me.

I tried to find positivity in the smallest things, but it wasn't worth it. I learned one thing, that in the end, everyone will leave you for their happiness.

The world is damaged. Selfishness all around humanity, but people are too prideful to admit it. But I admit it a long time ago. Why need to lie to yourself? The only person you can open yourself to is your own.

You are your soulmate and best friend, the only person who knows every single piece of you. I am open book only for myself. I don't need others to understand me when I have myself.

I open my heavy eyes and look around the room. Black and dark purple shined around. Purple my favorite color. And black was like a reflection to me.

I left a big sight and stood up from my bed leaving the warmth of my blankets. I took my clothes from my closet. Ripped boyfriend jeans and a dark red oversized hoodie. Slowly I left to my bathroom.

About an hour later I left my bathroom, my business done. I was dreadful of this day. I was dreadful every day. No one ever saw me happy and laid down. Not when they are always in their little happy world.

I took my books and other things from my table and left my apartment without breakfast. I wasn't feeling eating right now.

I took the quickest way to university. I didn't want to see or meet anyone not important. Not a long time, about twenty minutes, I finally reached my destination.

I struck straight to my first classroom, which was art history. I was a second-year art and music major. Those two things were the only ones who helped me through my hardest times.

Music helped me to forget and let my feelings go. Writing lyrics to songs like therapy to my soul. And art, I loved to paint. To paint my memories and my dreams. Through the brush, I let go of my mind.

Our professor shortly after showed up and started our today lecture. Looking around I saw that maybe I was the only one who was interesting in art history.

Almost everyone was here with their soulmates, happy and joyful. And here I am. A person who lost thought of happiness a long time ago.

I didn't hate soulmates. I hated the universe for making something like this. How something else can decide who you need to love. I want to choose my future.

To others it was funny, but I was dead serious. That was my dream. To create my future. I hated how the universe was so against my dream, that every time I wanted to reach it, the universe just shows up and destroy everything.

The lecture was going to an end and I was ready to go the practical painting. Then like out of nowhere, these two showed. Really at the end of the lecture. They quickly apologized to the class and professor.

They took each other hands and went up in the classroom to sit down to the upper road. I was on the same road of tables. Alone, how I liked it.

That's why I don't like these two. Always late and always on my way. They were soulmates how much I knew and I saw their affection toward each other too. They never tried to talk with me or anything.

They were happy in their own seven boys group. I heard that there were seven soulmates. Lucky they. I didn't show to their business, but like they were everywhere and mostly always to stop peace in the room.

The lecture finally ended and I was ready to leave. I thought that today they don't show up to university, but I was wrong. We had practical painting together too. Sometimes I wish that I would have to choose another major to run away from them.









































From Taehyung and Jungkook.

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