Nightingale

nineteen

After going through about 3 bags of peach rings I'm completely bored out of my mind. Harry has been gone for only 2 hours and he won't be back for another 2. I fling the silk bedding off of my body and walk down the hallway to peek into the other rooms. The first room is a simple room that is untouched so I close the door and head into the other one. This room is clearly the one Harry is staying in, given his clothes are all over the place. How does one live like this?

I walk in and close the door behind me. I'm not going to touch anything. I just want to look around the hotel. No harm in that. I step around his clothing on the floor and flop onto the bed. The ceiling is the exact same as the one in my room not really sure why I thought it would be any different. I sit up a bit and look around. Why am I even in here? I get up and leave them room and head back downstairs.

I walk to the bar and see an ungodly amount of liquor. I pour myself a glass of whiskey to sip on as I explore the penthouse suite. I don't bother going into the gym because I could honestly care less about workout equipment. There's a door across from it so I go to open it but it's locked. I didn't even know the doors here had locks. I move to the kitchen ignoring the gun on the counter and take a large sip of whiskey before setting my glass down. I begin pulling out drawers in hopes to find a key but there isn't. Harry must have taken it with him or maybe guests don't have access to it. If I had a bobby pin I would just pick the lock.

I grab my glass and sit on the couch looking out the full glass window. I'm kinda regretting not going out with Harry at this point because I feel so restless having an active city right below me. I decided to go down to the pool so I went up stairs and grabbed a complimentary robe before grabbing my room key and leaving the room. I don't have a bikini but underwear is pretty much the same thing and I dare someone to come up to me and say something. It's still slightly warm outside and there are maybe 2 or 3 other people out here. I take off the robe and leave it on one of the outdoor chairs. I walk down the pool steps into the cool water and just float around on my back for a bit. You can't see the stars because there's too much light pollution. That's honestly the only thing I miss about South Carolina, I could always see the stars.

Water is something that every living thing needs. It gives life. Yet the thing that fascinates me most about water is its ability to take a life in a split second. One minute it's calm and peaceful and the next to you are fighting to survive. Everyday I feel like I'm drowning. Whether it's from my thoughts or my struggle to stay sober I'm always drowning. Just waiting to take that inhale of water that makes all the pain go away. I stop floating and let my body be covered by water. I continue to sink down until my body hits the pool floor. I continue to sit on the bottom of the pool for a bit until I can no longer hold my breath so I push my legs off of the bottom of the pool and break the surface. I exhale a deep breath and go back to floating around.

After attempting to drown out my thoughts for however long I'm bored again and ended up heading back up to the room. I really want to get high. It would be easy to get some sort of drug here, especially on the suite floors. Rich high rollers always have the best coke. Once the elevator doors open to our room I see Harry pointing a gun at a man tied to a chair. I quickly push the button to go back down to the lobby. I need air. I can't fucking breath.

"Carolina wait!" Harry shouts and runs over to the elevator but the doors shut right before he reaches me.

How stupid does Harry have to be to bring that shit back to the hotel. He was going to kill a man while I was in the hotel room. Did he not double check that I was asleep? It's one thing that I know about what he does but it's another thing to witness it happening. Once I'm at the lobby I head back out to the pool. I just want to get as far away as possible from Harry. I have to sit down and calm my breathing once I'm outside or else I'm going to have a panic attack. I run my hands through my wet hair and place my elbows on my knees. I don't have my meds, I really want to get high and I almost just watched a man get shot.