thirtysix.

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We headed back after eating the ice cream and talking for a short while. I was getting pretty late too anyway, so I suggested we stopped filming and go home to relax.

We all filled into Tubbo's car but this time I sat in the back while Tommy sat in front with Tubbo. I slowly found myself drifting off to sleep in the back seat.

As Tubbo turned left really vigorously, I was woken up from my nap. I stayed in my position as I heard Tubbo and Tommy talking about something.

"I don't know, I still love her so much. But I can't tell her because she'll just run away from me again," Tommy vented to Tubbo in a distressed tone.

"I don't think she will Tommy, she left because she thought it was best for you at the time. She wasn't thinking about herself, she only did it because she thought you'd be better off without her," Tubbo responded.

"That's why, she's thinking for me. But she's got it all wrong, I am so much happier with her in my life. She doesn't understand that she's the reason I've gotten this far," Tommy continued.

"What do you mean?" Tubbo asked.

"She is the only thing my brain knows to think about, when I'm not on the server or keeping myself busy, my mind keeps running back to her. She was my motivation to keep going on, I wanted to succeed and meet her at the top." Tommy hesitated.

"I wanted to stand by her side again and be able to call her mine again,"

"Big man...," Tubbo said slowly.

"I am forever hers, but she was only temporarily mine."

They both kept quiet, with only the radio in the car playing a song making noise.

I laid there quietly in the back, listening to what the radio was playing as thoughts ran through my mind.

My hearts a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every note

So he still loved me, so much that he had gotten this far. He loved me so much that he didn't dare to ruin what we currently had in case I left him again.

He loved me just as much as I loved him, I just couldn't see it. All because I was caught up in the moment. All because I kept thinking about him and not us.

I rarely made mistakes, but I really fucked up this time. I messed up the one good thing I had going for me. Now he's too scared to try again in fear that I would abandon him.

How did I manage to ruin such an amazing person just because I failed to notice his feelings towards me? How could I ever apologise for this? How could I make up for the four years of pain I had caused him?

I singlehandedly ruined a relationship that would've been perfect.

I wasn't temporarily his, I was his in this lifetime and the next, in this universe and the next. I would still love him when the earth ended and we were just two specks of dust floating in the universe.

"We're here, wake her up," Tubbo suddenly said as the car stopped. His words pulled me out of the black hole my brain had sucked me into as I overthought about their conversation.

No, I wasn't ready to face him yet. I wasn't prepared to look him in the eyes after hearing that conversation. I just felt too guilty to even be given the privilege of looking at him eye to eye.

"Y/N, wake up we're here," Tommy said turning around to shake my shoulder to wake me up.

I opened my eyes and faked a yawn and stretched. He looked at me with his lips curled upwards as the dim light from the car reflected off them.

We both got out of the car and got into their house. We were going to watch a movie together then I would go home.

I made myself at home and sat on the cold hard marble floor. Tubbo and Tommy brought over one of their  mattresses for us to sit on. Then they joined me and sat on my left and right respectively.

"I don't understand Y/N, why can't we watch the movie at your place? You have a whole couch and YouTube on your TV," Tommy said as he adjusted himself on the mattress.

"It just feels different, there's a warm feeling in this house," I replied going through the programs they currently had. However, the true reason was that I didn't want Tommy to wander into my room and see all the pictures I have of us framed and set up in my trophy case.

We found a channel that just started their movie and just watched it. I slowly dozed off to sleep again as it was terribly boring.

I woke up to being carried bridal style. I slowly squinted my eyes open to see who was carrying me and of course, it was Tommy.

"Is this her room?" Tommy asked as he approached a door.

"Yeah, she never lets me come in. I'm interested to see what she keeps inside," Tubbo said as he walked over to open the door.

That was my cue to wake up in Tommy's arms.

"Hey, hey, you're not allowed in there for a reason," I said slightly tilting up my head towards Tubbo while still being carried by Tommy.

"But why, it's just a room," Tubbo whined.

"Yes but girls stuff, it's private," I said as I turned my head back towards Tommy's chest.

"Do you want me to let you down now?" Tommy asked slowly starting to put me down.

"Oh yeah, sorry," I answered as I quickly got out of his arms. My knees buckled and he rushed to hold me up again.

"Okay fine, I'll come back one day and find out what secrets you're hiding in this room," Tubbo said as he left.

I looked at Tommy and we both burst out laughing.

"Alright, goodnight," Tommy said waving back at me while he left to catch up with Tubbo.

"Goodnight, I love you," I whispered back.

1045 words.

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