On The Days That I Have Doubts

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Jeongguk rubbed his stomach that was filled to the brim with turkey, roasted potatoes, and green beans. They had almost reached the end of the lovely Christmas dinner hosted by Taehyung's mother, but of course, her famous tiramisu still had to make an appearance.

Taehyung's older sister had arrived, bringing her husband Sehun and their little boy Daeshim with them. Normally, the family of three would stay at the house as well until after New Year's day but because of the recent change in Sehun's mother's health, they were driving to her house after Christmas.

Daeshim had grown a lot over the year but he was still an annoying little brat that loved to fling his green beans at Jeongguk's head. The twenty-year-old didn't want to cuss at a little child but, damn, that child was a menace, and the only thing the adults did was coo at him.

A sudden warmth was found on Jeongguk's thigh as Taehyung's large hand slipped onto it and squeezed the flesh. Jeongguk turned to his boyfriend, looking as soft as ever as he wore a red Christmas jumper and his old glasses. His hair was curlier than before and it might have to do with the snowball fight they had since rain usually made his boyfriend's hair curl.

"Are you ready for dessert?" Taehyung asked him once his mother disappeared into the kitchen. They could hear her open the refrigerator and Jeongguk almost jumped at the thought of tiramisu.

"If she now comes back with fruit salad and you actually just gave me false hope, I'll throw another snowball in your face." Jeongguk jokingly glared but almost squeaked at the hand on his thigh curling closer to his crotch. Jeongguk narrowed his eyes at the amused look on Taehyung's face.

"We're celebrating the birth of Christ today so get your pervy hands off me," Jeongguk whispered, slapping the hand from his thigh. Taehyung repressed a fond chuckle and he finally kept his hands to himself, though he couldn't help but think of their Christmas tradition.

"How's school Jeongguk?" Tae-Eun asked once she had dropped off all the dirty plates into the kitchen sink. She took her seat in front of Jeongguk again while grabbing her glass of deep red wine.

"It's going fine." He was making progress for once. He hadn't failed one class ever since he started studying with Hoseok and he really hoped he'd get a good grade for his exams.

Sehun joined in the conversation. "Do you know what college you want to go to next year?"

"Ah, I'm not sure if I want to go to college. I've been stuck in high school for so long, I don't know if I can handle another three years or more of education." Jeongguk could feel Taehyung's eyes on him and he tried his best not to sink too deep into his chair.

Taehyung and he hadn't really spoken about Jeongguk's plans yet. Taehyung didn't like meddling with Jeongguk's education since it had sparked a lot of fights in the previous years.

"Is there nothing you're passionate about?"

Passionate. They asked him this every year, because yes, he had been in senior year three times now, the college talk had gotten too familiar.

Jeongguk wasn't really passionate about anything. He was good at his science classes but he didn't particularly like studying any of it. He had gotten quite skilled at his more creative classes but did he really want to study art just because he could draw a little? And then there was sports, something he liked doing but he was already quite old to start a professional career in any sport.

What did he want to do in life? He had no clue.

"Sehun didn't know what to do either and studied business, just like Taehyung did," Tae-Eun spoke. "There are plenty of jobs to find in that field."

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