baked | timothée chalamet

thirty-eight, 𝐢'𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐧

I woke up not too soon after Timothèe and I agreed to talk in the morning. It was the last day of our quick meet up in LA before he went back across the world. The last thing I wanted was for us t    o leave in a fight.

My head was pounding and my mouth was so dry, I felt as if I was in realign pain.  I looked to my side seeing it was only 9am. 5 hours of sleep should do.

I slipped out of the bed quietly and went to the kitchen area to drink as much water as I could. I chugged a glass then went to the bathroom to get painkillers, and finally see how I looked.

My eyes were swollen from crying—ugh ew this is why I don't drink. I can't think, more, than I already have the struggle of doing so. Idiot. I thought back to my fight with Timmy, just wanting it to be over. I bit my lip and didn't know what else to do than bake in that little kitchen.

I threw my hair up in a ponytail, put on random clothes and slipped out of the hotel in silence. I mapped out a Target that was a two minute drive from here.

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I pulled the muffin pan out of the oven exposing more of the blueberry aroma. I'm pretty stubborn, I know a muffin isn't much of a sorry, but I'm hoping it will fix the fight.

I remembered his point from last nights conversation, he doesn't have a tactic to get out of those situations, but thinking about it in a clearer state of mind; he has a "girlfriend" regardless; real, fake, secret, he has one. I think that alone is warrant to set boundaries with women flirting with you.

If I was single, I could easily flirt with a guy, but if he said he had a girlfriend, I would back off. That seems like the good person thing to do. How is him being Timothée Chalamet different. Ugh.

I slammed the pan down frustrated with my thoughts. I just want it to be over.

"Mags!" I heard Tommy's groggy voice frantically call my name.

"Over here." I had my head in my hands this time just frustrated. My brain felt overheated.

"Are you okay-mmm smells good, oh gosh... are you okay?" I heard his footsteps stop. I raised my head resting my chin in my hands to look at him.

He was shirtless, in his boxers, he's so fucking sexy. So effortlessly too. Scanning his body reminded me of last night; I can't believe I almost forgot.

"I'm fine," I bit my lip in thought, "uh I made you muffins—I'm sorry muffins." I pushed the plate with them towards him. He  gave me a smile and reached out to grab one.

"I forgive you." he took a bite out of one and just starred blankly at the table. Mmm not talking about it didn't make me feel good either.

"Well?" I asked impatient.

"Mags, what do I say?" he shrugged his shoulders up.

"How about, I have a girlfriend." I crossed my arms fully standing up.

"But..." he thought about it, "whatever, fine. Never leave again without telling me. I had no idea where you were, I had no idea what to do. I was freaking out—I didn't mean to, but what if something bad happened and I wasn't there." I could see the anxiety take over him from the thought of not taking care of me. That stupid lump came back and I walked around the counter toward him.

I wrapped my arms about him and cried in his arms. He hugged me so tightly, but he didn't realize how much I felt loved by him. That I was mad at something that wasn't really his fault, he has anxiety, but his love and care for me over powers that.

That's why he was in a panic to find me, why he followed me without me needing to tell him, why he gave me his water, he did it all because he just wanted me to be taken care of. In his own oblivious boy way, he loved me.

"Flower, don't cry." he held me tight rubbing my back.

"I love you so much, I don't want to be apart again." I cried fully into his chest, "you hurt my feelings, I love you, this relationship is a good idea." I sobbed every word.

"Oh Mags—I'm sorry." his voice broke which made me feel so bad. He had no idea how much love I felt for him, how bad I wanted to be close to him, how safe he made me feel. He just let me cry in silence, never did his grip losen.

We ate breakfast then decided to explore L.A. some on our last day here. I didn't want to go now so we put on a movie. I had to enjoy every second possible with him to remember how each touch felt for when I was missing him.

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"Mag." I felt my body jiggle and opened my eyes looking up seeing my boy. I put my hand on his face and gave him a soft smile.

"Hello." I mumbled closing my eyes again tired, but then remembered we had plans for the day. I opened my eyes up again and noticed it was dark outside. "How long did I sleep?" I asked nervously.

"A while, how are you feeling?" Timmy informed me, his face was sweet.

"Tired," I sighed leaning back on the bed, "I guess we don't have time to go out." my heart broke again at the thought of ruining our day.

"I'm tried too." Timmy said in a chirpy tone laying down right next to me.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"It's like when your cat falls asleep and you can't move... and I like holding you." he poked my sides making me laugh and tangled his body with mine.

"I miss my cats." I leaned my head on his.

"I know... you should come to the UK for me." he said casually. I tried moving away to look at him like he was crazy, but he held me tight.

"I hate planes, especially for that long." I complained trying to get out of it. Sure, visiting my boyfriend in another country would be a cool experience, but there would be his fake public girlfriend, and I'm not in the head space to meet her.

"Bring everyone! We could spend New Years there." he sounded so oexcited I didn't want to make hims ad, plus if he wasn't going to be all the way over there for a New Years, I really had no other choice.

"Sounds fun." I tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible.