𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭

Nine - Highway To Hell...Or Heaven

THEODORE

I didn't call back because...well, because I was embarrassed. It was getting increasingly hard to not pick my phone up and call her.

"I'm not gonna act like I don't know what you want from me, Theo. I...I want the same thing but I don't think it's possible"

She had said those words and they wouldn't leave my head. She wanted the same thing...so, what was stopping her?

I bit the inside of my lower lip as I paced around in my living room, nursing a glass of whiskey and ice.

The sweating glass felt cold against my hand and I inhaled, throwing my head back. My phone sat on the living room table.

She had been calling. I wasn't answering.

It had been days. I felt stressed -mentally and physically.

"What the fuck am I supposed to say?" I whispered, the sound of the ice smacking against the glass in my shaky hands drew my attention and I sighed.

Was I overthinking this? I certainly was. It was a habit. I couldn't control it.

I took a sip of my whiskey and let the cold liquid run down my throat before turning off the TV.

It was distracting.

I couldn't stop thinking about her. It was like I needed to see her. She featured in every single dream that I had even the ones that weren't hot and fervid. The ones where she wasn't riding my cock like I was the highway to hell...or was it heaven?

Was it an obsession? It could as well be.

Her smile. Her lips. Her eyes.

That is not helping things at all.

I snatched my phone off the table and exhaled, flipping it open.

I pressed the green button and her number showed up in my most recent calls, right under Glenn's number that I refused to answer.

This morning, she had come banging on my door, like it was the bloody wall of Jericho -probably to ask for some more money.

She tried to use the key but I got all the locks changed at midnight when I couldn't get any sleep. I had no doubts that she would be back again tonight. I tucked loose strands of my messy hair away, pushing them behind my ear seeing as my hair band was missing.

I loved Glenn and maybe I loved her too much but wasn't that what love was? Maybe not. I only cared that I loved her enough for both of us. That was enough for me.

Now? I was greedy. I wanted Imade. I wanted her to feel the way I felt for her. I wanted her to feel like I felt. I wanted her to think about me all day. I wanted her to have those same dirty dreams that I had. I wanted her to wake up breathless, writhing and gasping, gripping her sheets and search around her bed for the comfort she only found in her dreams.

I was not ashamed of my greed. I embraced it.

Now, only if you would embrace the woman like you embrace your greed.

I chuckled and hummed.

There was a part telling me that maybe she didn't really want me.
Because have you seen her?! She was perfect and I was...well...a professor in a suit.

Flinging the phone unto the couch, I walked to the kitchen to make myself breakfast, telling myself that I would survive one more day if I didn't talk to her.

I knew I would. But it was like settling to have nothing when everything you wanted was only so close.

Sipping on my whiskey, I made an almost unimaginably high stack of waffles and black coffee.

The silence of the house did not help my thoughts but I finished my breakfast and decided to stop moping around.

I decided to call her. I paced round the living room with the phone pressed against my ear.

It rang and I half heartedly prayed that she didn't answer so that I didn't have to face my fears.

I took deep breaths so that I didn't get another anxiety attack.

"H-hey Sweetie" I bit down on my lip, almost drawing blood. I couldn't hear static silence so, even when she didn't speak, I knew she was listening to me.

"Professor Stephen" Right. She was definitely pissed. I could hear it in the hardness of her voice and if she was gonna call me 'Professor Stephen', I wanted it to be only when I had her under me and she had her eyes rolling behind her lids in insurmountable delight...

Or maybe she really didn't care?

Or maybe you're just overthinking. Again!

"I-do you-Uh...Hey?" I almost smacked my forehead. I already had the words in my head but they came out of my mouth a jumbled mess.

I took in a deep breath, shutting my eyes.

"I know...I just have this feeling that you're angry at me. I know you are. Can I see you?" I ran my palm over my blue plaid pajama pants, hope growing in my soul.

"I'm at the mall right now" my eyes snapped open and I grinned, my toes wiggled in apparent joy.

"Now? I'll be there. W-what part of the mall?" I made my way up the stairs, walking straight into my closet to figure out something to wear.

I fished out a striped green shirt and shook my head but I realized she hadn't said anything.

"Sweetheart? What part of the mall?" I held the phone in between my ear and shoulder, pulling out a pair of deep blue pants and a loose dark brown shirt.

"Oh! The uh bath and body works store. You know it?" She asked and I spotted a pair of keys. I silently wondered what keys they were before snatching them off the top of my closet.

"Alright, Baby girl. I'll be there" I grinned and she hummed before hanging up a few seconds later.

Maybe I was really overthinking everything.

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