Running With Scissors - Sam Camp - Wattpad

Running With Scissors

Reads 292,754
Votes 17,834
Parts 42
Time 9h 17m

Reads 292,754
Votes 17,834
Parts 42
Time 9h 17m

absurdist action adult adventure cancer comedy contemporary dark darkhumor friendship hitman humor legal suspense texttospeech thriller

Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive!

*****

When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left?

For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time?

[[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]All Rights Reserved

absurdist action adult adventure cancer comedy contemporary dark darkhumor friendship hitman humor legal suspense texttospeech thriller

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42 parts

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The Beast by xwriteratheartxo

HANNAH I've spent my entire twenty-one years on this earth in the background. Walked over by friends. Family. Strangers. And I didn't see a problem with it; I'd rather nobody pay attention to me. It was safer that way. Easier. Until I got the wrong kind of attention. Lev Somov caught me running from an impromptu crime I was committing against my ex-boyfriend, and in that moment, he somehow decided I was worth giving his attention to. All the bad kinds of attention. Next thing I know, he's watching over me, hijacking my job and becoming my client. And then he takes things above a level I never thought possible. He is a monster, incapable of feeling any type of remorse or guilt for anyone and anything, including me. All I can hope for is that I make it out of this obsession alive. LEV This life wasn't meant for me, but now that he's gone, it's mine for the taking. And no one is going to stop me. I've shown my loyalty through blood, and I make no plans to change my future. Especially not for the little kukolka I found stumbling into the wrong alleyway. I'll take my time before I break her. And then, the Dynasty will be mine.

How Could I Let Go of Something I Hold So Dearly? by dontbeabitchybitch

After the Blip and the death of Tony Stark, Peter Parker decides to consume himself with his Spider-Man career instead of coping with his pain. However, it not only slowly affects him, it affects his girlfriend Y/n, who becomes so sick and tired of being ignored she breaks up with him. Will the two move on or will, with the help of their crazy friends find their way back to each other?

The Boss by 6JoKer9

Nick Gerard, cold, ruthless, a hired gun and bodyguard when the job required. He had everything he ever wanted, money, power and fame. His name was whispered amongst the privileged and when they needed someone to disappear or needed protection they just had to pay his price. Life was good until a job landed on his desk that left him breathless. His world danced in and out of theirs but he never tangled in their affairs, when someone he cares for becomes indebted to them he has no choice but to accept their terms, a life for a life. Fate left him damned 10 years ago and now it's damning him again. Will Nick claim back his life or will he succumb to the one thing fate won't let him forget?

For The Next Thirty Seconds ✓ by lanaisadumbass

**editing ((: "How many sets of thirty seconds are in a day?" "My rough estimate?" "Sure." "About three thousand." "Oh." "Yeah." • 19 year-old Jack's life has been one traumatic event after the next. So, being diagnosed with small cell lung cancer was just icing on the cake. With a survival rate of 14 percent and a life expectancy of 4 months, Jack does all he knows how to do: he runs. 18 year-old Lane's life has just been turned upside down. After finding out her sister's engaged to her childhood best friend, she doesn't think it could get any worse... until she finds out her happily-married parents of 24 years are getting a divorce. She can't stand even being in the same room as one of her family members, so she does something she's never done before: she runs. The Big Apple has never seemed so small. At least, not to Jack and Lane, not when they were next to each other. Nothing seemed too big. Side by side, they could conquer the world. They could fly. But, if the world decides to fight back, whose to say they won't fall, instead? 𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴.

𝓈𝓊𝓃𝒻𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇 | p.p. x reader | book one. by wildsupernova

{this book is currently going through an extensive editing process. writing styles may not line up between chapters and some plot points may not match up until book is fully edited. edited chapters will be marked with a checkmark} You never believe something can happen to you until it does. Your entire life gets turned upside down, uprooting you from everything you thought you knew and turning you into something completely different. Your world seems to take a turn for the worst, and the things you once enjoyed take a backseat to wallowing in self pity and wading knee-deep in sadness. That's how it was when my brother died. Only a year ago, everything I knew changed for good. Brand new town, brand new people, brand new life to live. Thankfully friends are easy to come by, but it turns out I wouldn't be lucky enough to keep my normal life. One fateful night and two chance encounters would change everything for me. A fresh start in New York turned out to be far more than that; it was a second chance at life itself. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TOP RANKINGS: #70 in science #519 in superhero

Far From You by _marlie_b

(book 1) y/n stark is really not here for this european school vacation because in this post-endgame world, she's mourning the loss of her dad. but one (1) sticky boi peter parker is just trying to be the friend he once was while also trying not to flirt too much because if she rejects him (which she wouldn't, not that he knows that) while they're in venice holy hell he'll just pitch himself off the gondola right then and there. basically, y/n has been distancing herself & peter misses her & this school trip is a great way for him to coax her back into the real world & y/n really loves peter but is super sensitive and scared to lose him & also mysterio shows up at some point ugh @ nick fury leave ned leeds alone *this story was written prior to avengers: infinity war & spider-man: far from home coming out. therefore, the canon in which these characters live in is different from the mcu. in this canon - tony stark, captain america, & thor have all died. black widow & vision have survived. the decimation, where half the population was snapped from existence was erased with time travel so those who were snapped came back within online minutes, leaving some residual trauma. in this canon, those who survived the decimation only lived six months without those who were snapped, but those six months have been erased - leaving only the avengers to fully remember what happened.

You Are the Shell to My Tortoise | ✓ by LotteStarburst

Nolan, an unapproachable guy who ignores the existence of all his schoolmates, sleeps in all of his classes. Normally, this wouldn't be Chelsea Arnold's problem--she does her best to pay attention in class and attends gym like a good, normal student. Unfortunately, she just so happens to be his assigned desk partner in many classes. She's frequently forced to wake him in English class and ends up earning the unofficial title of Nolan's Wake-up Alarm--a title that nobody in the entire school covets. The last thing she wants is to interact with him more than she absolutely has to. One day, their gym teacher sends her to bring him back to class, which he always skips for some reason. When she accidentally shines her flashlight in his sleeping face, it triggers a chain of events that gradually intertwines their lives together. It's hard to be a normal student when you start befriending the school oddball. It doesn't help that he has more secrets than the Big Ben has stairs. ----- Complete. (first person, past tense, slowburn) ----- 1st place in Humor Category of Psychological Novel Reads Contest 2020 (29 Sep 2020) ----- Started: April 28, 2020 Completed: July 23, 2021 Word Count: 160K+ ----- The sequel, The Tortoise and His Sunrise, is up on my profile now!

Man Of Few Words by GavinMackenzie

One man's painful yet funny search for meaning in a life about to be cut short. Cancer has made David Alexander's whole existence suddenly seem worthless. But is it?

The Doctor's Assistant by AtlasPyro

Have you ever felt so unimaginably lonely? Ever wanted to end your life because things have gotten so unbelievably horrible? Parents misunderstanding you? Pressure too much amongst your daily stresses? Do not fret, just walk to the back alley behind Maple View Memorial Hospital. Walk down the creaking metal steps, knock a few times on the wooden door and the doctor will handle the rest. These were some of the things Elliot heard being whispered at the weekly depression seminars. They were dying for a way out, a way out of life. A way that didn't involve hanging in the kitchen before the movers showed up. With mom and dad dead from a car crash a few weeks prior, and zero friends to acknowledge their absence, Elliot decides to visit the doctor. But is it more than what they bargained for?

Death Is My BFFLAD (Book Two Original Series) by katrocks247

(Bfflad- Best friends for life and death) Dear Reader, Let's start at the beginning shall we? I died. Oh no, not one of these stories again where someone angelic and heroic saves the damsel in distress. If only I was that lucky. My heart stopped beating. My lungs stopped working, my soul began to lift away... And then I was saved by a beautiful man with a kind heart and sparkles sprinkled around his head in a golden halo. A cunning, dazzling smile etched his angled features and his hair lay perfectly on his head like...black, sinful layers of pure cynical distrusting evil. Evil that was just waiting to onset a innocent girl as myself and allow her a short amount of time of happiness, and then finish her off when she became older. I'll give you a hint. The beginning of that description was slightly exaggerated. The Angel of Death. One of the only creatures known that was capable of settling the boundaries of heaven on earth. The only creature capable of making one of the Devil's darkest deals to my loving mother; a second chance for her daughter. This comes with consequences of course. Everything you know about Death is wrong. Death is not natural, Death is not normal, Death is not doleful, and Death is far from mercenary. Death blends into the shadows like coal against the most atramentous sky. Death walks the earth with his cursed, monstrous and exotic features, his enticing voice and betraying alluring eyes. Death deceives, scratches, and plays with your mind, until you slowly and painfully loose your grip on reality. He'll make you believe he's a different person, that there's a sliver hope for him. Hope for you. Death is close. Forever and always, Faith Williams ************ DIMBFF FAN CLUB ON FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1605057011183.80718.1378871754&type=1#!/groups/308207282529485/ **** MY WRITING PAGE! Please join! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-aka-katrocks247-from-Wattpad/208740202517075

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Slide 1 of 10

The Beast cover

How Could I Let Go of Something I Hold So Dearly? cover

For The Next Thirty Seconds ✓ cover

𝓈𝓊𝓃𝒻𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇 | p.p. x reader | book one. cover

Far From You cover

You Are the Shell to My Tortoise | ✓ cover

Man Of Few Words cover

The Doctor's Assistant cover

Death Is My BFFLAD (Book Two Original Series) cover

The Beast

HANNAH I've spent my entire twenty-one years on this earth in the background. Walked over by friends. Family. Strangers. And I didn't see a problem with it; I'd rather nobody pay attention to me. It was safer that way. Easier. Until I got the wrong kind of attention. Lev Somov caught me running from an impromptu crime I was committing against my ex-boyfriend, and in that moment, he somehow decided I was worth giving his attention to. All the bad kinds of attention. Next thing I know, he's watching over me, hijacking my job and becoming my client. And then he takes things above a level I never thought possible. He is a monster, incapable of feeling any type of remorse or guilt for anyone and anything, including me. All I can hope for is that I make it out of this obsession alive. LEV This life wasn't meant for me, but now that he's gone, it's mine for the taking. And no one is going to stop me. I've shown my loyalty through blood, and I make no plans to change my future. Especially not for the little kukolka I found stumbling into the wrong alleyway. I'll take my time before I break her. And then, the Dynasty will be mine.