Fvck'n THis Feeling!!
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  • Parts 1
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Ongoing, First published Dec 30, 2018
Alam mo na ngayon yung feeling na pinagpalit ka. Ang kinaibahan lang, nag two-time ka. Ako, ilang taon pa bago nakahanap ng pamalit sa'yo. 😏😌
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Adesewa the pregnant corper by ajathena09
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After the 3 weeks orientation program of the NYSC, I was posted to a secondary school at Oyan for the one year service. I was given a room on the school compound at the Corpers' quarters. On getting to On getting to Oyan, I started looking for a Pentecostal church where I could be worshipping, and soon I was able to find one. Shortly after I started worshipping in the church, I joined the choir. Fortunately, it was at the time when the choir leader just left the church, and there was nobody to coordinate the members. Before I knew it, I was made the choir leader after being interviewed by the pastor, Pastor Williams. I was loved by everybody in the church, especially the choristers, because of my unique voice. Whenever I sing or lead a song, the whole congregation has a way of murmuring "Huuuuunnnnn!" with a sigh of satisfaction when they hear my voice. Most of the choir members were younger than me, so they call me "aunty" or "Sister Sewa". One of them was Bode, who used to play keyboard for us in the church. He was so gifted when it comes to instruments; there was no instrument he couldn't play. I always felt the presence of God whenever he was on the keyboard. I was named Adesewa after my late grandmother, who passed away shortly before I was born. My dad loved his mum so much, and hence transferred the love to me, believing that his late mother was the one who came back, more so, according to him, I was the mama's carbon copy. It was after he became saved, that he knew he was wrong. My second name was Yetunde. My dad saw me as perfect. Anything I did or said was right, even when I myself knew I was wrong. In a nutshell, I was his favorite. When my mum noticed that daddy was treating me like the apple of his eyes, she wasn't taking things easy with me at all. She spanks me at every slight mistake I made, mostly when my dad wasn't at home.
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Umpisa pa lang alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi mo naman susuklian ang pagmamahal na nararamdaman ko para sa'yo. Una pa lang alam ko ng kapatid lang ang tingin mo sa akin habang sa kaniya tingin mo ay magiging asawa at maging nanay ng mga anak mo. Alam ko. Sa umpisa pa lang alam na alam ko. Pero kahit totoong alam ko sa sarili ko ang bagay na 'yan. Mas pinili kong magbulagbulagan kasi akala ko makikita mo din ako, hindi bilang kaibigan o kapatid kundi bilang isang babae. Akala ko sa paglipas ng panahon ay matututunan mo din akong mahalin at piliin kahit pa iniwan ka niya. Akala ko mapapalitan ko siya sa puso mo. Ngunit sa paglipas ng panahon. Mas lalong maging malinaw ang lahat. Naging sobrang linaw na hindi na kayang maging bulag bulagan. Hindi ko maiwasang mag tanong kung anong mali sa sarili ko. Ako naman yung nandito sa tabi mo pero bakit hindi ako? Bakit kahit wala na siya ay kalaban ko pa din siya diyan sa puso mo? Bakit kahit wala na siya ay kahati ko pa din siya sa diyan sa atensyon mo? Bakit... Bakit hinihintay mo pa din siyang bumalik sa'yo?