Are You Sh!tting Me (Modern Cliches, #3) - Anna Koski - Wattpad

Are You Sh!tting Me (Modern Cliches, #3)

Reads 37,935
Votes 4,303
Parts 25
Time 2h 58m

Reads 37,935
Votes 4,303
Parts 25
Time 2h 58m

alcoholicvampdad amlkoski comedy free freetoread funny humor moderncliches novella omg vampdaddy vampire vamps

Book three of the Modern Cliche Series
~~~~~~~~~~~

Sup, my name is Sammi Catherine Knapper.

I am your permanently exhausted, introverted twenty-five year old. The only thing I am above average in is the fact I can pull all nighters and still get to work in the morning. Yes, I have the super human power called being a night owl who has insomnia. It's incurable, believe me, I've tried.
So with that permanently exhausted exterior, I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or account for the fact I had a vampire crawl into my bedroom at night trying to figure out how the whole blood sucking thing worked. 

Yes, I some how managed to have a baby vamp attempt to test his new vampiric nature on me.

Thankfully, Jake (surfer dude turned bloodsucker), was just as confused as I was by his vampire abilities, drinking blood to survive aside, and we set upon a mission to figure out just what being a vampire meant and what he needed to do as well as track down his one night stand vampire daddy to give him hell.

Teaching a vampire how to be a vampire, meeting a sibling group of baby vampires, starting a night time inventory business, as well as being kidnapped by an alcoholic vamp daddy, all I can say is:

Are you shitting me?All Rights Reserved

alcoholicvampdad amlkoski comedy free freetoread funny humor moderncliches novella omg vampdaddy vampire vamps

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Kill Me Now (Modern Cliches, #1) by AMLKoski

Book One of the Modern Cliches series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi, my name is Sasha Elaine Wimbleton. I am your perfectly average twenty four year girl. The only thing I am slight above average for is the cynical and snark categories but I had an average childhood, an average school experience, average friends, marks, parents, and life. So in a life full of averages I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or count for the fact I was kidnapped by a self professed werewolf who claimed I was his undeniable, true love, one of a kind, soul mate. I'm sorry but I'm really not into that whole Stockholm Syndrome thing... This isn't mentioning his pack is in this long standing feud with his younger brother, Fergus, who wants him dead because of a reason he wouldn't tell me. I only met him a few times where he and Damien snapped and snarled at each other and exchanged threats. In which I was either being manhandled by Damien or with his Beta, Vince LeStat, a.k.a. the future father of my children. Stuck in a pack of testosterone filled fucking werewolves and being unable to actually make a move on the guy I dig because the guy who is obsessed with me has declared he will kill any man that touches me. All I can say is: Fucking kill me now.

i'm back, baby by gothasf

Benny walked into his house, knowing that since it was Thursday, Grandma Weir would be at her "Latenight Bingo." Where she gets drunk and spends the night at her friend Shelby's house. Benny threw down his now empty bag on the couch and collapsed next to it, running his hand through his shaggy hair. "Every supernatural creature is after this stupid Lucifractor thing- that we are now in possession of, Ethan's date with Sarah was ruined, and everything just sucks," Benny absently whined out loud. "Can things get any worse?" he groaned, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling. "I'm glad you asked." Benny shot his head up at the voice. He knows that voice all too well. That deep yet girly voice he once loved. And when he looked up, he wished he hadn't. Cause he met glances with bright green eyes with a tint of blue. The curly black haired beauty he once loved more than his Grandma's freshly baked cookies was leaning against the wall, hair now pin straight, leather jacket-covered arms folded, a smirk playing on her burgundy colored lips. "Hi Benny Boo," she put on a sentimental smile and batted her eyes innocently, "did you miss me?" Benny just let out a high pitched scream. __________ When Benny Weir's ex-girlfriend shows up out of nowhere after having mysteriously fallen off of the face of the Earth two years ago and leaving her friends behind with no indication of where she was or what happened, Benny is hysterical. She left him all alone when he needed her most, with starting their first year of High School just days after she left. But he didn't have much time to think about it, for he knew that with what was going on with the Lucifractor, she wasn't there for a reunion. She changed, dramatically, from her hair to her outfits to her makeup. But this wasn't like her- at all. Something happened, and Benny was going to figure out what it was. __________ I do not own any "My Babysitter's A Vampire" characters or the plot foundation of the story.

The Bad Boy's Girl by antheas

Disclaimer: A very non-classy humor infused werewolf story. No seriously, the only reason its up and running is for sh!ts and giggles. If you want something slightly more sophisticated, feel welcomed to read my other books. ❇ Imagine this. You are at school everything is peachy fine. You are minding your own business when BOOM a muscular 'wall' crashes into you. What do you do? You freaking insult them until you make them angry as those cartoon figures in the tv where they are beet red and steam pours from there ears! Why, because to you it's the most rational reaction. But what happens if that isn't what they do? You do bump into the wall you do insult them but they look off? Happy? Almost bursting with joy? Then I believe he is a werewolf and your his mate. I mean I didn't do anything wrong! I swear on my best friends! Ok there was that one time! And that other time... Okay! I get it karma is a b*cth. Gah I should of thought about going ape sh*t on the sketchy granny last week... Oh well. °completed° #947 in Werewolf Oct. 19 #674 in Werewolf Oct 21 #532 in Werewolf 1.17.19 #1 in Comedy

F*ck Me (Modern Cliches, #2) by AMLKoski

Book Two in the Modern Cliches series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey there, my name is Ethel Bethany Linde. I am your perfectly prudish, average twenty-five year old girl. The only thing I am above average in is the fact I made it to twenty-five while still being a virgin. Yes, I managed to make it through my hormone fuelled teen years and college years with my virginity in tact. Although not for lack of trying on my part. So with that prudish exterior, I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or count for the fact I lost my virginity to an Incubus who was summoned to torture and kill me, via sex. Which according to some ancient demon law means we are practically married in the (un)holy eyes of Hell. Yes, by some unholy, cosmic act of fuckery, I accidentally married a fucking demon. Thankfully, Mazvahr (Maz for short), was just as enthused as I was and we set upon a mission to find the man who summoned an unholy Incubus to do the dirty deed, in more ways than one, and kill him. Stuck next to a powerful demon, who requires sex to charge him up and has a super weird rope fetish, to hunt down the asshole who did this to me, all I can say is: F*ck me.

So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version) by iamRodneyVSmith

CURRENTLY BEING RE-WRITTEN AS PART OF THE "HOW NOT TO VAMPIRE" SERIES) It's the week from Hell as Bob tries to save his ex-girlfriend Jaime from certain death... by turning her into a vampire. Needless to say, she doesn't quite agree with this plan and what follows is an epic journey in the making as Bob and Jaime try to track down the one vampire who might know how to turn Jaime back into a human. Oh yeah, and Bob's sometime-stalker-ex-girlfriend Beatrice is trying to kill them. Book 1: SO I MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE Book 2: SO I'M A VAMPIRE... NOW WHAT? Book 3: SO YOU USED TO BE HUMAN Book 4: SO YOU WANT TO KILL A VAMPIRE (now in drafts to return in Fall 2019?) Wattpad original: SO YOU MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE (799K reads, featured, #2 in Humor) ########## This was originally Book 2 of the series, but it's now Book 3 since SO I'M A VAMPIRE... NOW WHAT has been created to be Book 2. We've done a bit of editing and SO YOU MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE is now two books instead of one. Unfortunately, this means that Book 3 (this one) is finished before Book 2. So if you;re confused, sorry. If you're willing to wait a year and read the new book 2 first as it comes out on Wattled, then kudos to you, but to be honest, this book is awesome, so go ahead and read it now. Or not. Entirely up to you. Hilarity? Hell yes. Vulgar humour and excessive use of all examples of vulgar language that Bob can think up? You got it!

His Second Chance (Book 1) by LadyDemonRaven

COMPLETED Meet Melissa Rivera. A 25 year old woman with a doctor's degree. She moves to Forks to start a new life in a new state. She works as Carlisle's assistant. When Carlisle sees Melissa, he realizes that he has a second chance at love again due to the Volturi coming and killing Esme in the fight (imagine she died during the fight in breaking dawn). What will happen when Carlisle realizes that he has a second chance at love? Does he take it? Does he leave it knowing it will hurt her in the end when she realizes what he is? Or does he tell Melissa about himself and his family then turning her after? What will happen if he decides to turn her? What will she do? ---------------------------------------------- I look at Carlisle then look away. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks me. "I was scared." I say. "Scared about what?" He asks me. I close my eyes as I drop my head. "I was scared that you would reject the bond. I didn't know what I would do if you rejected the bond we have." I say in a whisper. "I wouldn't reject it. I'm a vampire and you're a shapeshifter. Not only are you a shapeshifter, but you're also my true blood singer. Esme was but not my true blood singer. And when she died 5 years ago, I didn't feel depressed. I felt relieved that I could find my true blood singer. And that happens to be you, Melissa." He explains to me. I open my eyes and look at him.

Blood and Daggers by Kate_j56

Ten years ago every creature, myth, and legend that you can think of, and some you have never heard of, decided to stop hiding and started attacking people. Out of theses attacks the families that have hunted these creatures for centuries in secret decide to make themselves know as well becoming there own judge, jury and executioner under the name of the Creature Hunter Association (CHA for short) Enter Katrina (Kat) Lovedock, a member of the Lovedock hunter family one of the best and well known hunter families to ever patrol the streets. Unfortunately, Kat is not technically a member having been disowned after one horrible night that changed her life, in more ways then one. 5 years after that night she still has all her training that her father taught her and uses those skills to hunt down dangerous creatures while also being hunted herself. In addition she just transferred from night class ( a creature only taught class at Miller High School, a Creature/Human school that promotes itself as being one of the few school to teachs both humans and creatures side by side) to day class a specially made course for non-dangerous creatures and humans, the only problem she isn't completely human nor is she completely harmless anymore and if any of her new day classmates find out what she is they will call for blood.............hers. ⚠️! -TRIGGER WARNING KILLING, SWEARING,GORE, TRAMA, DEPRESSIVE EPISODES AND MORE-!⚠️ (Book one in the Blood and Daggers series)

Making her My Belonging ||completed|| by Toramimi5

*ORIGINAL STORY, WRITTEN IN 2015, COMPLETED & EDITED IN 2016.* BOOK I of the "Making her" Series "The Wolf, the Human & the Vampire" I, Daciana Lupu, was sent to live with my grandmother in Transylvania where I was told not to wander on full-moon nights. I didn't know what it meant until the day of my coming of age. "It smells too sweet...too sweet to be true" I heard the seductive voice of a blood-sucking creature that attacked me in the middle of the night, but... "If you had stayed back home, like an obedient little girl, you would have made my job easier" ...I was saved by another night creature covered in fur. Despite their differences and first intentions, in the end, they had the same goal: make me their belonging. Should I let my self be bitten by the blood-sucking wanderer? Or should I let myself be bitten by the man-beast that roams on full-moon nights? What's my fate?

LUNA KRESTEL by cereal_killer4ever

|COMPLETED| Ever heard of a baby project with real babies? Ever heard of humans entering werewolf territory without getting harmed? You know what? Forget what I said, and answer this: Ever heard of a 18 year old CEO!? (\_/) (^_^) (>< ) UU Well, these - and many more - were the things which Krestel Winters, a perfectly perfect normal human experienced when she and her family moved to Maine, a werewolf infested territory. -> A guy in her school who doesn't leave her alone. -> And not to mention he growls. -> A crazy school with an even crazier baby project. -> A rescue mission which involves fighting the mafia. Welcome to world where you will be forced to comment WTF in each and every line of the book. (\_/) (0_0) (^ ^) UU *Oh and don't mind that little guy who pops in once in a while. He is my pet- Mr.Hopkins. (\_/) (- _^)/ (> ) UU

Fated by JaideHarley

****COMPLETED**** "You're driving me crazy," I growled, dropping my hand down to her waist then around to her lower back, sucking her earlobe into my mouth and dragging my teeth along it. She groaned and dropped her head back against the wall. Her sounds were intoxicating. I could smell how much she was responding to me and it brought my need for her out even more. I cupped her cheek and brought my lips over to hers, just barely brushing against them. "Addie," I whispered against her mouth, threading my hand through her hair. ... Addie has been abducted and thrown into the supernatural world. She discovers vampires have kidnapped her to manipulate an Alpha werewolf. Not just any werewolf, her mate. Or so the guy in the cell next to her says. Problem is, they've underestimated her because she's human. She's going to show them how much damage a human can do. Alpha Xander's past comes back to haunt him and his Beta has been missing for two days. Xander is finally contacted and offered a deal: his life for his Beta's and the mate he has yet to meet. He's been waiting his whole life to meet his mate and will do anything to keep her safe. Except she doesn't need as much help as he thought she might. #2 in pack on 5/22 #1 in mates 6/22 WARNING This is an adult book. It will have mature language and scenes.

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Kill Me Now (Modern Cliches, #1) cover

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His Second Chance (Book 1) cover

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Making her My Belonging ||completed|| cover

LUNA KRESTEL cover

Kill Me Now (Modern Cliches, #1)

Book One of the Modern Cliches series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi, my name is Sasha Elaine Wimbleton. I am your perfectly average twenty four year girl. The only thing I am slight above average for is the cynical and snark categories but I had an average childhood, an average school experience, average friends, marks, parents, and life. So in a life full of averages I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or count for the fact I was kidnapped by a self professed werewolf who claimed I was his undeniable, true love, one of a kind, soul mate. I'm sorry but I'm really not into that whole Stockholm Syndrome thing... This isn't mentioning his pack is in this long standing feud with his younger brother, Fergus, who wants him dead because of a reason he wouldn't tell me. I only met him a few times where he and Damien snapped and snarled at each other and exchanged threats. In which I was either being manhandled by Damien or with his Beta, Vince LeStat, a.k.a. the future father of my children. Stuck in a pack of testosterone filled fucking werewolves and being unable to actually make a move on the guy I dig because the guy who is obsessed with me has declared he will kill any man that touches me. All I can say is: Fucking kill me now.