A healer. A survivor. A victim of profound injustice. How does someone who has dedicated their life to helping others find the strength to heal themselves after losing everything?
In December 2019, I woke up in a psychiatric hospital following a suicide attempt. A simple conversation with another patient sparked a shift within me-a glimmer of clarity that would change the course of my life. But how did I end up there? What devastation could drive a loving spouse, a therapist, and a lifelong survivor to the edge of despair?
This book unravels the journey that led me to that breaking point and how I found the strength to keep living. My story is one of triumph and tragedy-of overcoming paralyzing shyness and social anxiety to become a psychotherapist, only to have my life shattered by unimaginable injustice. Between 2000 and 2006, I lost everything I had built: my home, my career, my community, and the love that once gave my life meaning. The destruction was sudden, like a meteor crashing down, and the aftermath left me in ruins. Worse still, the world condemned me as a villain when I was only ever a victim.
But this is not just a story of loss. It is a story of survival, of how I faced the darkness and chose to keep living. It is a testament to how love, hope, and the power of connection can guide us through even the longest night.
Through this memoir, I share not only my pain but also my triumphs-the moments of joy, love, and meaning that kept me fighting for life. I write this book for anyone who has ever felt unseen, unheard, or unjustly condemned. I write it to show that healing is possible, that our stories matter, and that no matter how broken we feel, there is always a path forward.
This is my story. But it is also a story of hope-for you, for me, and for anyone who has ever longed for justice, healing, and love.
Inside you will find a mixture of both, extremely RAW and refreshingly HEALING accounts of my personal war with my past. Unfortunately, Childhood sexual abuse is far too common, and many of share similar experiences. Looking back, what I could have used more than anything was someone to tell me "You're not alone, there is a lightness through the darkness, you can heal from this and most importantly don't EVER stop telling your story to make others comfortable". I've learned that silence is the best weapon for a predator, and I for one, have never been really good at doing what I'm told. I don't intend on starting now. I wear my scar as reminder that I hold the power in my own story, it is mine to tell and I won't make myself sick keeping quiet because my truths are hard to swallow, other people's comfort is not my problem. My Goal is rather simple, to let the readers know, they too are not alone. If you are a survivor, even if you still feel like a victim, this is my personal message to you. "You are strong, and it wasn't your fault. Tell someone... tell anyone...tell everyone... We shift from victims to survivors when we speak up and tell our stories. There's nothing wrong with you, and the light will shine again. The longer you sit in silence the more power your abuser still holds over you, wipe your face warrior, because there's a lion right inside of you, DONT EVER GIVE UP!"
*This story is FULL of TRIGGERS, please be careful reading if triggers are hard for you, your mental health matters*
*I own all the Rights to all parts of this book*