A healer. A survivor. A victim of profound injustice. How does someone who has dedicated their life to helping others find the strength to heal themselves after losing everything?
In December 2019, I woke up in a psychiatric hospital following a suicide attempt. A simple conversation with another patient sparked a shift within me-a glimmer of clarity that would change the course of my life. But how did I end up there? What devastation could drive a loving spouse, a therapist, and a lifelong survivor to the edge of despair?
This book unravels the journey that led me to that breaking point and how I found the strength to keep living. My story is one of triumph and tragedy-of overcoming paralyzing shyness and social anxiety to become a psychotherapist, only to have my life shattered by unimaginable injustice. Between 2000 and 2006, I lost everything I had built: my home, my career, my community, and the love that once gave my life meaning. The destruction was sudden, like a meteor crashing down, and the aftermath left me in ruins. Worse still, the world condemned me as a villain when I was only ever a victim.
But this is not just a story of loss. It is a story of survival, of how I faced the darkness and chose to keep living. It is a testament to how love, hope, and the power of connection can guide us through even the longest night.
Through this memoir, I share not only my pain but also my triumphs-the moments of joy, love, and meaning that kept me fighting for life. I write this book for anyone who has ever felt unseen, unheard, or unjustly condemned. I write it to show that healing is possible, that our stories matter, and that no matter how broken we feel, there is always a path forward.
This is my story. But it is also a story of hope-for you, for me, and for anyone who has ever longed for justice, healing, and love.
The exact words he threw at my face still haunts my dreams every single night and I think I'm starting to believe him.
"Wish I've never met you I was so young and stupid, no wonder no one wanted to be with you, you are just holding me down and I honestly just got bored, needed a new chapter in my life that was the main reason I did what I had to do to keep myself happy. I just don't want to lie to myself anymore. I can't do this. I need to be free for once in my life. I'm so relieved that I don't have to marry you anymore, it's like a dead weight lifted from my shoulders. JUST LEAVE! GET OUT NOW! ''
I just didn't know what to do that day I way so shocked, one minute we were one big happy family and the next he throws everything we build up as a family. I should had been warned by his actions the last month that we spend together.
He knew that he was my first for everything and that gave him a push on his ego. Always bragged about being my first and claiming power over the situation. I was blinded by all of his charms and I see that now, I'm so sorry I did not listen Laura, you were just trying to protect me , that's what best friends are for but I chose him and I am truly sorry. I promise I will get a way to show him that I am not just a waste of space and I am going to do it all just for me and my baby girl.
**WARNING**
Sexual language and mature content
Read at own risk ;)
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Monicanaude