Creepy Uncle Sam's Gastronomy Guide For The Apocalypse - Sam Camp - Wattpad

Creepy Uncle Sam's Gastronomy Guide For The Apocalypse

Reads 7,781
Votes 679
Parts 31
Time 4h 27m

Reads 7,781
Votes 679
Parts 31
Time 4h 27m

apocalypse chef comedy cooking coronavirus death food gastronomy guide hell humor manual nonfiction pandemic recipes

A no-nonsense, fairly silly, guide to cooking during the apocalypse. 

This guide will teach you how to cook, how to make your own recipes, basic fundamentals of cuisine, why brown is the tastiest color, how to prevent your pee from attracting marauders, and how to gain the trust of your local metal gang with some heartfelt homemade chocolate cookies. 

There is no reason why the apocalypse can't be tasty!All Rights Reserved

apocalypse chef comedy cooking coronavirus death food gastronomy guide hell humor manual nonfiction pandemic recipes

Table of contents

31 parts

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The Grave Walkers by wee-zee

It all happened in one day. The nuclear explosion. The gas spilling out of the nuclear plant and poisoning people. The gas moving over the grave yard and the dead popping out a couple minutes later. People eating others. It's so much. I don't know if I will be able to survive.

Final Era - Part One by turtleturtlesquirtle

Ever since the world has went to shit some people have it for better and some for worse. Although when two complete strangers come together as one to survive. It makes them stronger then before. The fact that the have seen loved ones get killed or taken, makes them stronger. Even bringing in new people and opening your heart up for someone new that you connect with. Will they make it to the safe house or will one fall? Will both fall?

F*** Cancer, This One Did Us All In. by IgnotusCapillary

There's not a lot that can freak me out in this world. Only large animals with sharp claws, too many people touching me, bullies, hives, horror movies, sitting underneath fans or lights or anything that dangles from a ceiling, glass or wooden bridges, my mother, mosquitoes, public situations, taking a shower with nobody in the house, taking a shower with too many people in the house and crocks. Oh, and zombies. Zombies is definitely on that list. It's almost a shame too, that I have to race through a city packed full of them to find my missing family. Packed full of zombies, by the way, not crocks. (Although I don't know which situation is worse.) Now I have to not only keep my feeble body alive, but also protect (or be protected by) my two best friends in the entire world as we all try to survive in a city packed with the Dead.

This is a Test by DachetGrival

Randall Cashe, a mechanical and electrical engineer, joins a team of scientists in a Mars-mission habitat hoping to rake in a massive payday. Their goal: to produce their own air, water, and food while testing the building with simulated disasters. When the outside world succumbs to a lethal airborne pandemic, the hermetically-sealed structure is suddenly the safest place on earth. As tensions among the group of scientists rise, Cashe has every intention to not only survive, but thrive. After all, why would he let a world-wide apocalypse and a few murders prevent him from making a profit? The parts I publish initially will be 90% where I want them to be. Feel free to criticize anything.

Yes, I am crazy by mf_queen48

I don't know when it happened, or how, but I know I'm crazy. Nothing more, nothing less. Or well, maybe add weird too. Most people tend to stay away from me and it's no mystery why. But then those five hot guys just had to come and kidnap me. Like, why? Because apparently my dad is the leader of an infamous gang and these teenagers want to take him down. Pfft, still doesn't count. Now, I'm just worrying about whether or not I want to get released - an excuse for skipping school? Hell yeah! Though there is that tiny, little issue regarding the question about if they are going to kill me or not. Might as well have a bit of fun before that happens. ~~~ Okay, so this is like my first book, and... It's... I don't know what it is. I read some stories were a crazy girl get's kidnapped, and decided to write a story like that too. So, here we are! What's my point? I think I had one... 1# crazy (How? What? I'm confused)

BEWARE OF COW by GreasyLamp

A group of stereotypical teens must escape from what appears to be a demonic cow.

Quarantined (DISCONTINUED) by racquel_hilfigerr

From planning for spring break to being stuck inside. How will the gang keep up with their usual shenanigans despite the global quarantine?

Don't Turn by its_me_veronica

JEFF. So we'd have cactus zombies chasing us?!?!?! JAMES. What in the FUCK is a cactus zombie? JEFF. A zombie... with freaking cacti stuck in it! BECCA. Best. Hug. Ever. JEFF. Oh goodness, could you imagine... two cacti zombies having a baby? JAMES. Yeah, I don't think zombies work like that... WARNINGS: The only warning there is really is that there is some mature language but nothing above PG-13 movie ratings. Although there is a chance of permanent cringe face from some of the scenes that you will read, so b e w a r e This script is about a group of teenagers who are thrown into a zombie apocalypse and are struggling to make it out alive. It is meant to be a comedy and a lot of things don't really make sense but bear with me, we will make it out alive. Well, maybe not all of us, but we don't talk about that- This is a script that I wrote in literally 3 days about a year ago. I have written more scripts recently that are more improved than this one, but I think this script is super funny and needs to be shared with the world. Rules for Surviving: 1) Food cause nom noms me hongry 2) Buddy system, because if I've learned anything from 80s horror movies it's don't go off alone because there is an 87% chance you will not make it back (statistics researched and studied by yours truly) 3) Stan Jeff, I don't think there's more to say 4) Stay away from the cactus zombies, especially the super horny ones 5) I don't mean to be t h a t person but please, please, please don't copy my work. If you want to use it for something you can reach out to me and I will discuss it with you but please don't plagiarize it, thank you.

Anarchy on Earth by j623363

First, the video came. Just 2 months after is was taken off. The next day MeToob shut down. The day after that the internet stopped working. Then the power left. Then, came the virus. It infected everyone that came in bodily contact with it. Some of the ones who get it simply die off, but if you're unlucky enough to hold the infection... you become a heartless beast that will eat any flesh it comes into contact with. They will eat anything... even humans. Join Jack Smith, and his friends, as they try to escape the horrors of Union City, New Jersey and try to make it to the on Union Island before the last evacuation flight takes off. But as you may find that people become different in a crisis... And that could mean the difference between life and death.

Dead inside (Sanderssides human au) by lizbliz123

***complete*** It's a zombie apocalypse!! Roman and Remus are twins, it's their sixteenth birthday and when they were about to start celebrating thats when disaster strikes. The two weren't home to witness the tragedy of losing both their parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles who were attending their party because they were in their tree house in the woods. They come back for some cake, and as soon as they realized what was happening they grabbed as much as they could of their belongings and booked it deeper into the woods searching for shelter from the zombies. How it all happened ? The two never figured that out. But the world went to shit, and now they need to figure out how to survive.

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Slide 1 of 10

The Grave Walkers cover

Final Era - Part One cover

F*** Cancer, This One Did Us All In. cover

This is a Test cover

Yes, I am crazy cover

BEWARE OF COW cover

Quarantined (DISCONTINUED) cover

Don't Turn cover

Anarchy on Earth cover

Dead inside (Sanderssides human au) cover

The Grave Walkers

It all happened in one day. The nuclear explosion. The gas spilling out of the nuclear plant and poisoning people. The gas moving over the grave yard and the dead popping out a couple minutes later. People eating others. It's so much. I don't know if I will be able to survive.