Struggle for Release - Zarika - Wattpad

Struggle for Release

Reads 33,772
Votes 1,096
Parts 36
Time 2h 56m

Reads 33,772
Votes 1,096
Parts 36
Time 2h 56m

anxiety celeblife depression eatingdisorder harrystyles liampayne louistomlinson niallhoran onedirection zayn zaynmalik

Zayn Malik, known to the world as one of the members of One Direction. People say he has everything- Money, fame and talent. They say, he is really happy in his life. Judging by his smile, he is. But the real question is- is he really happy? Is money, fame and talent everything? Is his smile true? The problem is sometimes the best smiles are the ones which hide the worst pains. Is that the case with Zayn? Do his band mates know?
Join him and his band mates on this rollercoster called life. 
Fair warning: This will contain mentions of ED, depression and anxiety. Trigger warning.
Also this is just a fanfic, so...yeah. 
Also the videos that I add, they have nothing to do with the story, well apart from the fact that they are sung by one direction. I just like putting them so there so yeah. I will add both live performances and studio version. Also just so you guys know, high notes are done by Zayn, in case you didn't know it already.
Enjoy!!

Most impressive ranks

#5 in zayn
#4 in celeblife
#70 in eating disorder
#299 in anxietyAll Rights Reserved

anxiety celeblife depression eatingdisorder harrystyles liampayne louistomlinson niallhoran onedirection zayn zaynmalik

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The Institute by axnsley

Zayn Malik is not depressed. Zayn does cut though, scars lining his arms from years of doing it. But Zayn isn’t depressed, he’s not anything. He doesn’t know when he stopped feeling, when he went numb, but he does know that he can feel when he drags a razor across his skin. He feels afterwards too, relief washes over him as he is reminded that he is alive, he can feel. But then his mom found out, now he’s living in The Institute. Niall Horan is depressed. He’s well aware of his depression that has had no real trigger. He had it all back in highschool, he was popular, captain of the footie team, he wasn’t even bullied after coming out. But he was depressed. He would look in the mirror and all he would see was fat, globs of pale skin in all the wrong places. So the simple solution was to stop eating. But that didn’t work, Niall couldn’t not eat. Plan B went into effect then - throwing up. He had only been doing it for a few weeks when his brother found out, now he’s being sent to The Institute. Join the journey of Niall and Zayn learning how to feel again. Friends come along the way, a schizophrenic, mute and a multiple personality disorder patient. They’re an odd group, but they get along and slowly live their lives in The Institute.

Broken {Zarry Stylik} by lizardGurl337

Zayn Malik and Harry Styles, both members of the popular boyband One Direction, suffer from their own personal problems and are running from their past. Will they learn to help each other in the process, and overcome all of their troubles? Or will things just continue to get worse? Will the two boys find out about each other's problems? Will they tell the other adored members of One Direction? Follow the journey of Zayn and Harry as they outrun their past, with many tears, many smiles, and many hugs. Louis, Niall and Liam by their sides the whole time, being the supportive Best Mates that they are. This Story will obviously include Zarry, as well as some Niam, because who doesn't love a little cuteness from Daddy Direction and Niall the Church Boy 😌 Will Louis find a girlfriend who he shall love for eternity? I don't know you'll have to read to find out. This book will contain mentions and actions of Abuse, Self Harm, Self Hate, Swearing, Drinking, and Hateful Words!! There will be Warnings for you in case you do not wish to read those parts!!!! This story may also include Smut so stay tuned for that. Anyways this story is by Myself and the amazing @hazzaxmedicine ! Please enjoy our story!!!

$Perfection IS Skinny!! {L.T} [Larry Stylinson] by wistfully_me$

(COMPLETED) * READER DISCRETION ADVISED * ** TRIGGERING ** Louis may have what seems like the picture perfect life, but, he wants the picture perfect body to go along with it! Just how far will he go to achieve it? Louis also wants adoration, acknowledgment, and to know that he is worthy! How exactly is he supposed to get all that? Along the way Louis Tomlinson finds fame, love, and the support of four great friends. . . __________________________________________ (DISCLAIMER:- I DO NOT OWN THE BOYBAND ONE DIRECTION NOR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING MEMBERS OF THE BAND: HARRY STYLES, LIAM PAYNE, NIALL HORAN, LOUIS TOMLINSON, OR ZAYN MALIK. I ALSO DO NOT CLAIM ANYTHING IN THIS STORY TO BE BASED ON FACT, IT IS PURELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY) ___________________________________________

$Sold To Harry Styles - Zarry {Mpreg} [✔️] by Jikook_1301_4ever$

HARRY STYLES A man that is known to be the biggest tycoon in the world. He owns the chain of restaurant and Casino. But what no one knows is that this all is just a facade for something else. He has achieved all of this in just 2 years, he is 24 now. He has no parents. He is known to be the most Ruthless, rude, evil and heartless man walking alive on this planet. Everyone fears him. Some say he is shady man. All in all he is dangerous. What is Harry's actual work...? Is he really dangerous...? Is he really heartless as everyone says him to be...? No one knows.... Let's find out together. ZAYN MALIK 19 Year old boy....most innocent, selfless and caring Human. He lost his mother because of his father who is a drunkard and always hit Zayn. They are in debt because of his father who like to gamble, he waste all money which zayn and his mum earn on gambling which left them with almost nothing. He still is content with his life and is hoping for a better future to come his way. What he doesn't know is that someone has his eyes on him. He is oblivious to all this. How did his mother died...? What was the reason for her death..? Who has their eyes on him...? No one knows.. Let's find out together.. But, Elsewhere someone has already been eyeing Zayn for god knows how long. He is dangerous and stubborn. He is a mysterious man. If he want something he will do anything to have it. Who is it...? What does he actually want...? Again no one knows Let's find it out together ------------------------------ Kindly read introduction first and then proceed to checkout the book. This book is going to be updated very slowly as I'm currently working on two more books so have some patience. As always thanks for your support... - AS

Loving hurts (Discontinued) by H4rrylovesL0uis

Struggling to find to love himself harry battles anorexia anxiety and depression but when he has a crush on a fellow band member will it turn out okay or will it all just fall apart?

Friends Are Safest Place || Zayn Malik Sickfic by Lizzel234

Some Zayn Malik's sickfic and hurtfic. these will be from the time he was in one direction and after leaving one direction. After leaving One direction boys still look over him when they came to know about his condition. Everything bad possible that can happen to a person will be written,please don't get offended. *All the boys Louis, Harry,Liam, Niall are involved in every story* Plus feel free to give suggestions and comment on anything Ps. English is not my native language so please forgive me for my bad English.

I'm Fine || l.s. ✓ by twinklingpisces

I wrote this when I was like 15 so it's awful and horribly inaccurate regarding lots of stuff and the characters are really, really annoying. If it didn't have so many reads and votes and that I would delete it. PLEASE, if you want something with better writing and still full of angst, look at my other fics instead (Tempest is my fav) // Harry is upset, he just wants someone to care about him but he keeps pushing everyone away. Despite being packed tightly in a tour bus with the rest of the band, he still manages to avoid them. The boys begin to worry, Louis especially. // PSSST, i think my other stories are better! May 2020-July 2020

fake laughs by strawberryoatmeal

We've all heard of the phrase "And they all lived happily ever after..." right? Right? That's all that everyone wants in this world. Living life to the fullest with your soulmate, feeling excitement every morning because God let you live another day. You would think that that's what a man who was apart of the biggest boy band in the world was currently feeling. Well guess what? You're completely wrong. ------- i am not trying to shame anyone in this story. (ex, i made louis kinda mean in this; i love boobear dw) ⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS⚠️: eating disorders cutting lowercase letters (from the chapter "if only..." and so on) non edited chapters cussing MORE TRIGGER WARNINGS WILL BE PUT BEFORE THE CHAPTER BEGINS!! zianourry ;) SLOW UPDATES

Flowers For My Flower by SammiBSykes

Some people have their guesses on why Louis Tomlinson acts the way he does. But himself and his family believe nothing could be going wrong besides the fact that puberty is well under swing. Disrupting lessons, getting bullied, and never being able to sit still, Louis finds himself in C.A.C, the classroom where kids can go to unwind and feel safe no matter what their circumstances are. There, he meets a new face, Harry Styles, a kid that speaks too fucking slowly for Louis' liking, but continues to listen to despite himself. He just wants to make friends, and here a friend is. What'll happen as the pair grow up? Or the one where Louis has undiagnosed ADHD, and Harry has a speech impediment.

A New Day Has Come || l.s. by CuriousKat

Louis Tomlinson was trying his hardest to be strong. He was always depressed because of hate from the fans. Every night, he felt like angels were singing to him as he cried himself to sleep. His life was miserable and no one knew about it. That he was sad, he cried everyday...that his smiles, his laughs were nothing but fake. He held it in, unsure of what the outcome would be. His thoughts on his life often were: "What if I were to just not wake up today?" or "What if I wasn't here? Would the boys even miss me?" He knew it would never get better. If he were to quit the band...fans would eat him alive. If he continues in the band...hate would just continue to roll in. What else could he do that would stop the hate, the pain, everything...forever? He made up his mind once the boys found out...

Happy Ending Doesn't Exist (One Direction) by leta1d

I was born in a beautiful family. I have the best mother, father and brother. I can sing, dance and play guitar. But just only one talent in our family could be my brother. He got famous and I was just me. I was bullied by his best mate. I had bruises and scars on my body. Brother, doesn't know this. Nobody knows. I hate my bully, my ex with a passion. I changed everything, became stronger and prettier, but for me happy ending doesn't exist. I fell in love and got broken. I couldn't take it anymore. So, now here I am. On this railway. It's the end. I'm Destiny Payne and this is my story. {One Direction love story} Few important rules : 1.DO NOT COPY MY WORK (seriously, people, don't do that) 2 . Don't be rude in the comment section. I want just happiness and unicorns there :) 3 . Don't be a silent reader. Your feedback means a lot to me. 4.Sorry in advance for spelling errors or punctuation. 5.Enjoy Copyright Â© 2014 Mind Happiness Work. All Rights Reserved.

13 Reasons why (Niall Horan story) Ziall And Niam by Claricepayne

Zayn was a happy lad as he grew up but as soon as he hit high school everything changed people bullied him and he turned dark. Then after 4 years of putting up with everything he decided he had enough and killed himself leaving everyone confused why he did it and close ones near him were struggling a lot especially a certain lad who had been friends with Zayn since they were little babies. That certain lad was Niall Horan After Zayn died, Niall locked himself in his bathroom for two days which Liam (Zayn's best friend and Niall's boyfriend) tried to get him out everyday because Niall's mum and dad had to work a lot so they didn't really know what was happening until when Niall was out so his mother took him to the doctor and they gave him a lot of medication but Niall only told Liam he was on one medication. It had been a week since Zayn had killed himself and let's just say Niall was not doing well at all. Liam,Louis and Harry have all been trying to help him get through this tough patch but what happens when an envelope turns up on Niall's door step with Zayn's writing on it Will Niall find out why Zayn did it? How will Niall cope? Would it put a stop to Liam and Niall's relationship? Carry on reading and you'll find out Twitter @claricepayne00 Instagram @claricepayne_wattpad Tumblr @claricepayne archive of their own @claricepayne00

Between Love and Hate by smileyourepretty

WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT, DRUG USE, LANGUAGE, ABUSE, SELF HARM AND EATING DISORDER. This was published in 2011 on onedirectionfanfiction.com, and I decided to post it here as well in case people were interested. Jackie Vega moved with her family(well...almost) from sunny California to crappy London. And just because her father got a job. Of course, she needs to finish high school. She goes to secondary school, where she is paired up with Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson for a project. She's so innocent, she didn't even get her first kiss. So when you put an innocent girl and two horny, sex addict, crazy players, nothing good can come out of it...for her. But it's not only those two. She's Zayn Malik's new target, Niall Horan's new enemy and Liam Payne's new lab partner. Liam Payne: silent, quiet, cocky. Every good girl's dream boy. Niall Horan: funny, carefree, cheeky. Jackie's new enemy. Zayn Malik: misterious, perverted, always smells like smoke and alcohol. Jackie's new bully. Louis Tomlinson: horny, player, sassy. Jackie's new partner and bully. Harry Styles: most popular boy in school, ladies man, womanizer. Jackie's new partner and bully. --- Let's just say that senior year won't be as she imagined it to be. At least not when you have five very hormonal teenagers who are ready to make your life hell just because you spilled your spaghetti on them. But you know what they say...there is a thin line Between Love and Hate.

I Can't Love You More Than This | Louis Tomlinson X Reader X Zayn Malik by MJLeclerc16

You never liked Math. You especially didn't like your old Math teacher. You always bunked Math, but when you found the new teacher was your ex-boyfriend, you knew you weren't going to be bunking or failing Math that year. But that also met hanging around with his friends. "It's sad. She used to be afraid to go to the club, she goes every week with him now. She never drank that much, but she gets hungover every Sunday morning. The worse thing is it doesn't even seem like he's forcing her into anything they do in this relationship. You don't seem like you want to know, but let me tell you. She's not coming back. The days that we used to tease her as your Mrs are long gone" ~When he lays you down, I might just die inside It just don't feel right 'Cause I can't love you more than this, yeah When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight It just won't feel right 'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah~ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6taxFZrkhrCNr9AsKYReA3?si=6913e0bb8d5b4dee

Being Myself by Z_Ashika04

25th March 2015. The day which will go down as one of the darkest days in history. Hearts were broken and tears were shed. Zayn thought that he had done a good thing by leaving the band. But seeing the people's reactions, he started to doubt his decision. Was leaving the band a good choice? Was his health and happiness more important than that of the people? Will people ever love him again? What about the boys? What will happen to his career? Will anyone sign him into their record label? Will Simon let him by so easily? Join Zayn in his journey of existence. This is a story where hearts will be broken but also mended. A story where a man tries to leave his past and gain a name for himself. A story where a man strives for individuality. But most of all, a story where a member of the biggest band on the planet, strives to become himself again. Trigger warning: There will be mentions of anxiety, depression and also slight mentions of Eating Disorder. Best rankings: #14 in simoncowell #12 in celeblife #143 in eatingdisorder #238 in struggle

A Love Close Near Death by ArianaLovve

(Caution! May be triggering. If you trigger easily I advise you to not continue reading.) Niall Horan always been the normal one out of all his friends back home, but that all changed after his XFactor audition. He believes that no one will ever love him. Why would they? He's hideous, fat, a disgrace, and supposedly gay. As a matter of fact, he just might be. There is one member of the group that understands him, that pities him because he knows how he feels. What will happen when Niall tries to take his own life? Will the one he loves follow in his footsteps? Will everyone be overjoyed? Or will everyone regret everything they ever did to him and become overly depressed? (PS) I don't think that Niall is fat, hideous, a disgrace or gay. I love Niall with all my life and heart. He is my saviour, my smile, my reason to be. If anyone thinks that Niall is hideous, fat, a disgrace or gay.... I'll personally find out where you live go to your house & stab you while you're sleeping.

Ward No.1D by inkylils

What's this story about? ╰┈➤ [Zayn centered + ZOUIS ship] Zayn Malik was a mess. Everyone thought he was psycho, crazy, insane. His parents decided they couldn't take it anymore, sending him off to a mental ward, no further questions asked. Among other struggling souls, including an empathetic counselor and three patients grappling with their own battles. But whilst he was in the ward, he discovered something. The ward wasn't what it seemed, it was corrupted and dangerous. He knew he needed to get out. And to make matters worse, he did the stupidest thing any mentally ill person can do. He fell in love. Character roles? ╰┈➤ Liam Payne is a dedicated worker and counselor at the facility, striving to make a difference while carrying unseen burdens of his own. Harry Styles battles anorexia, struggles in his search for control. Louis Tomlinson is haunted by self-harm and suicidal ideations, masking his pain behind his familiar defiance. Niall Horan lives with psychological fantasia and anxiety, often caught between reality and the vivid stories his mind weaves. At the heart of it all is Zayn Malik, whose antisocial personality disorder and substance use disorder paint him as distant, dangerous and unpredictable. TWS? ╰┈➤ themes of self-harm, suicidal ideation, eating disorders, substance use, psychological trauma, heavy language, violence, and sensitive mental health depictions. Moments of comfort, friendship, and romance will be present, but the story will not shy away from the darker aspects of their struggles. ╰┈➤ Last but definately not least, rest in peace, Liam Payne. 🕊️

The Dream That Lasted Forever (A Harry Styles FanFic) *Complete* by HaiItsEl

Like any serious love stories, most end in happiness. El thought she was in love. She had the perfect life: She was dating Harry Styles, from the famous boy band, One direction. Her best friend was Liam Payne. She never thought about leaving until what happened that one night. She left, never turning back. That's when she reconnects with Connor. Things went from good to bad, bad to worse. When Harry comes back into her life suddenly and they fall madly in love again. So it seems. *** This story is an extreme trigger warning book, it has thoughts of suicide, abuse, self harm, and much more. I do not advise anyone to read this story if they do not like this stuff. As a suffer from a mental disease, if anyone every needs to talk, don't be afraid to stop by my inbox if you need to talk. I'll be here for each and every one of you guys, I promise. I know how much a person you can confide in truly helps. I promise we will get through this together.

Broken (a Niall Horan love story) by cow_queen

"Do you feel safe with him?" the question seemed silly; in my head I had immediately laughed at it because it was so absurd. How could I not feel safe with Niall? He had turned out to be the only constant in my crazy life so far; he was always there for me through out everything. He did everything that he possibly could to help me to get to the point that I was at then. Instead of going on a rant about how much I did, in fact, feel safe with Niall, I nodded and said, "I always feel safe with him." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Navaeh is not your average teenager. Sure, she's a few months away from being eighteen, and is having trouble getting a better grade then a C in Biology, but her troubles don't end there. Niall is one fifth of the popular boy-band One Direction, and seems to be living the dream. A chance meeting brings the two together in a circumstance that leaves Niall afraid for Navaeh's safety. She harbors secrets about herself that only her and one other person know and when Niall becomes determined to break down her walls, things get complicated. A relationship is hard enough to keep as it is but when you add an unmistakably cruel family problem it gets harder. ****************TRIGGER WARNING: abuse, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts and actions. Please do not read if easily triggered.********************

Some things change. | l.s. by LoveLou__

Louis is living a life some can only dream of. He has a wonderful family, he is CEO of a successful Company and he is drowning in money. It's not always been like this- on the contrary. He's been through a horrible youth and almost didn't make it, but with the help of his loved ones he manages quite well. Until one day. As he searches for new employees, his past meets the present and puts his strength to test once again. Will it also be the last time?

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Slide 1 of 20

The Institute cover

Broken {Zarry Stylik} cover

Perfection IS Skinny!! {L.T} [Larry Stylinson] cover

Sold To Harry Styles - Zarry {Mpreg} [✔️] cover

Loving hurts (Discontinued) cover

Friends Are Safest Place || Zayn Malik Sickfic cover

I'm Fine || l.s. ✓ cover

fake laughs cover

Flowers For My Flower cover

A New Day Has Come || l.s. cover

Happy Ending Doesn't Exist (One Direction) cover

13 Reasons why (Niall Horan story) Ziall And Niam cover

Between Love and Hate cover

I Can't Love You More Than This | Louis Tomlinson X Reader X Zayn Malik cover

Being Myself cover

A Love Close Near Death cover

Ward No.1D cover

The Dream That Lasted Forever (A Harry Styles FanFic) *Complete* cover

Broken (a Niall Horan love story) cover

Some things change. | l.s. cover

The Institute

Zayn Malik is not depressed. Zayn does cut though, scars lining his arms from years of doing it. But Zayn isn’t depressed, he’s not anything. He doesn’t know when he stopped feeling, when he went numb, but he does know that he can feel when he drags a razor across his skin. He feels afterwards too, relief washes over him as he is reminded that he is alive, he can feel. But then his mom found out, now he’s living in The Institute. Niall Horan is depressed. He’s well aware of his depression that has had no real trigger. He had it all back in highschool, he was popular, captain of the footie team, he wasn’t even bullied after coming out. But he was depressed. He would look in the mirror and all he would see was fat, globs of pale skin in all the wrong places. So the simple solution was to stop eating. But that didn’t work, Niall couldn’t not eat. Plan B went into effect then - throwing up. He had only been doing it for a few weeks when his brother found out, now he’s being sent to The Institute. Join the journey of Niall and Zayn learning how to feel again. Friends come along the way, a schizophrenic, mute and a multiple personality disorder patient. They’re an odd group, but they get along and slowly live their lives in The Institute.