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Thoughtful Thoughtless Thoughts

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Parts 3
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Reads 518
Votes 319
Parts 3
Time <5 mins

2020 change deep emotions essay feelings graduation life overcoming regret time

I see the realization run a cross, these strangers around me. I see the same realization runs across my mind .It is as if someone brought out the orchestra and synchronized swimmers. The curtains  finally drawing closed, but all of us are trying to poke, our heads out from out the curtains.
Trying to explain to the audience of life the show is not done. They chose not to hear us ,just as we chose not to hear us. We chose not  to hear the applause.

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This is just a short essay  of my graduation, that happened in yes 2020.NOT  so much as what happen that day ,but how I felt, my emotions basically.All Rights Reserved

2020 change deep emotions essay feelings graduation life overcoming regret time

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Me Before YOU - BSD ✔ by w_kai1

[ COMPLETED ] "𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩, 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙞𝙢" Reminder: ⚠️ Various BSD x Male Reader/Executive Male Reader insert Angst + Romance 3/3 acts completed Started: 24/03/2022 Ended: 12/10/2022 Being his superior is truely making you tired He attempted to break free, but the fall was once again a never-ending loop. For the male, the pain was bearable, but for you, it was excruciating. But it wasn't your predicament that occurred; it was his. Dazai's circumstances has not yet devolved into hopelessness. He doubted about the height and the vulnerability of his physique before to the crash. He'd be still on the ground, surrounded by horrified citizens. Coughs of blood erupted when the horrors were committed. Even though you were there with your eyes open, all you could see was black. Your vision was unaffected. You were relieved that he was okay since his body sprang to its feet as if nothing had happened, but were you? Those dreadful memories flood your mind at random intervals, causing you to lose concentrate on the tasks you were given. You've become too soft, and you've taken on too much responsibility for yourself. Falling down when leaning against a wall. You tied your breathing while holding your head to your knees. You were known as the Port Mafia's key, the Port Mafia's answer, and the Port Mafia's power source. You, on the other hand, wanted the solution for yourself. Why can't you answer your own questions if you've answered queries from others honestly? You were curious as to why and how you had become so mentally weakened. #bsdangst 01/08/2023 #510 bsd 31/03/2022 #322 bsd 06/04/2022 #300 bsd 07/04/2022 #20 atsushinakajima 08/04/2022 #18 atsushinakajima 11/04/2022 #11 bsdxreader 07/05/2022 #36 armeddetectiveagency 08/08/2022 #51 bsd 11/08/2022

Only For You by bellamerce

"And lo, the beast looked upon the face of beauty, and beauty stayed his hand. And from that day forward, he was as one dead." Carl Denham ***** As Marco and i approach the table, Nick comes up behind us. I walk to my usual place next to Marco. Nick walks to his usual place as well and holds out the chair on his right. "You sit here from now on" he announces for everyone to hear, as he looks at me. "I am fine where i am thank you very much" I respond. I remember very well how last time he didn't want me there because Rhea was here. No thanks. You can save it for her. "I wasnt asking" He says drawing unnecesary attention to us with everyone here. "Well good. Because i'm never sitting there, ever! Isnt that Rhea's chair? You made that very clear last time" i retort. I know am being petty infront of everyone, but i dont care. He started it. I would rather sit on the floor than occupy his "mistress' "chair Nick surprises me by smiling. I expected him to get angry or something, especially that i'm defying him in front of everyone. So now i'm not sure whether to feel relieved or scared. He walks up to me and my eyes widen, What is he up to? I'm already sitting down, but he pulls my chair out effortlessly and pulls me up. I stand up in shook and watch him carry the chair i was occupying next to his. He pulls out the one Rhea occupied and replaces it with the one he just took... "There, you can either sit here or on my lap, those are your only options, its up to you" he says turning to look at me again with a poker face. No expression. Zero. I turn to look at everyone at the table, and they are all looking at me expectantly. I look back at Nick and he is the only other person standing. "Shall i choose for you?" He smirks finally. ***** #1 in Lovers (20/12/2021) #1 in New (24/03/2022) #1 in Passion (15/07/2022) Books by Bellamerce Book 1: Only For You Book 2 :When Stars Align Book 3: Fire On Fire Book 4: Diamond Hearts Book 5: A Crystal Love

Don't Look Back by Carolyn_Hill

ONC 2024: In college, it was a case of wrong place/wrong time. Eight years later, they have a second chance. But will they take the leap? ___ Prompt 14: "My muse, believe me, waiting for you has been a form of freedom." ___ Excerpt: "Don't look back." Ian stares at me through the screen with his dark, intense gaze. "Don't long for all the things that might have been. Don't chastise yourself for the decisions you've made." For a moment, his words render me silent. "Appreciate all those little indentations that make you who you are," he says with a tender expression. "And remember your superpower." "What superpower?" "Let yourself dream again." A tender smile crosses his features. "Focus that intense drive of yours on the future like you used to do." He's right. For so long, I've been living in survival mode. One foot in front of the other. Stuck in this nightmare, I haven't been able to see any other way forward. Until now. "You're free now," he says, "to make better choices that will make you truly happy." For a moment, I let my mind take me wherever it wants to go. Right now? It wants to be in Boston, beside him. But can I leave everything behind?

Love Comes Unexpected ✔ by prettyfangz

I quickly turned away from him, to get the hell out of the room. But he caught my arm and pulled me back into his chest. Shit. Fuck. He buried his face in my hair, arms enclosing around me and whispered into my ear, ❝I thought things between us were getting better, is this how your gonna lie and ruin it?❞ I could feel him smiling against my ears, his fingers gently raking through my hair. I didn't reply. This is exactly the situation I didn't wanna get into, cause I know I melt when he says shit like that. ❝You gonna give up resisting me now?❞ His lips barely touching my ears. My heart skipped a beat as he tightened his hold on me. ♡♥♡♥♡♥♡ SAMANTHA ROSS Beautiful. Smart. Successful. Kind. Stubborn. That's who she was. But life challenges everyone at some point, right? When her parents decided to get her married to her childhood friend who she last met decades ago, she agrees. But things quickly goes down hill when she discovers that her new husband actually turned out to be his gorgeous and arrogant twin. What will she do when she has to stay married to the man she once crushed on as a kid but hated just as much? Will she accept the challenge? Fire and ice do not make a good combination, do they? NATHAN WALKER Hot. Arrogant. Successful. Intelligent. Stubborn. That's who he was. And challenges? Damn, if he didn't love them. But everyone breaks when the person they love decides to marry your brother, right? But that just doesn't happen exactly. Yes, he did it because deep down he was still that young boy who yearned for his mother's love, but he was also the man who couldn't let his love go because that's how selfish he was when it came to her. And this time, he'd do anything to keep her. Forever. ♡♥♡♥♡♥♡ #1 in Billionaire #1 in CEO #1 in Arranged Marriage #1 in Mature #1 in Pasts #1 in Childhood love #1 in Hurt #1 in Introvert #1 in Drama #8 in Fate #9 in Lovehate #13 in Possessive

The Sadistic Pair (Karma x Reader) - Discontinued by TheMonsterofReading

in the class you were put in after the discovery of you having the same powers of class E's sensei (not tentacles) _backstory_ you were born but then...the family was attacked. this happened 3 years I a row with family members dying in progress of protecting you..because of your 'supernatural' body you've been caught once at 10 and tortured by the experiments.... they tried to turn you into a super soldier, minimising your mercy for people as much as possible.. every encounter with you they've had, they filmed. using those moments to make you insane you managed to get a split personality disorder of 3 people....4 if you include insanity...which has been what you've been showing for a while... the different attitudes have helped you in situations you've been awkward in and so while you yourself is inside feeling depressed, the other selves have to show up to take up your place. otherwise you'd be like an empty canister Your hair changes colour due to emotions. some emotions are the same colours (sorry if your eye colour is one of the eye colours your eyes change into your original eye colour. you can just change it if you want to same with your hair colour.) the blue hoodie and bandana your boyfriend used to wear you kept and wore you used it as a disguise to get away from the guys that have been chasing you your whole life. your voice changed so it sounded like a guy's and to be honest, everyone you met In that disguise believed you...including the enemy your family was rich and you had a lot of money, yet you all chose to live a simple life. you still did that after they all died. what you and your family did for a job you continued... until you saw a strange yellow thing in the sky... following the direction of the octopus thing you managed to catch up using some of your power...he went to china for tea? he then flew you back to what he said will be your new class from now on. E-Class *I don't

HER SAVIOR & HIS SENORITA (COMPLETED) by Satz18

TODAY: NO, I can't stay here. I should go out from here at any cost. But how? I am sure they will keenly watching me, and i should think of any other way around to escape from here. "Wait Wait", I made my thoughts shut to listen their conversations which is happening in front of my room behind the locked door. But What are they saying? "Oh no...this is going to be the worst than ever. No this can't happen, this should not happen...i should go from this place before i get ruined", My mind is throttling me about their converse. I make myself calm for few minutes and meanwhile i heard my door open sound. My eyes snapped seeing the scene there...yes the lady..she is the one who got me here to ths hell. But why she is coming here. She is giving a devilish smile to me and i hate it now. God, how should i react now..my eyes are snapping seeing her coming closer to me. ARGH!!!!! it's paining. She grabbed my hair tightly and warning me..yes exactly she is warning me to behave nicely when he comes..but who is the he? Who is gonna come here and why? My mind is thinking in all directions, how to handle them and the so called "HE". Tears dropped in my cheeks and it is finding it's own way to roll down. *********************************************************************************************** Here is the roller coaster ride of the leads, how they met and how they going to end up with each other. This book will explain the pain, the passion, the love and the need for each other. Enjoy reading !!!

Wave (Book 2) by Anniezie

I had survived the first. That was then; this is now. The blindfold of so many pills slowly died away and first though my finger then my head, a passion, a hurt and a need filled me as every moment was consumed with words; every breath with wisps of ink. But they were not all captured and somewhere in the deep abyss of living, lies the unspoken, almost unfelt feelings of decades in months. This is the half-empty account off all those nights from December through into the new year and the end of March. ...I pains me to share it. But it also makes it just not my problem anymore and that is something I long for- freedom and peace. Please note that all grammatical and linguistic, as well as those in punctuation and spelling or placing of words were intentional. If you LIKE this and want me to write a commentary on each poem and picture (as in my previous collection Apfel), please show me in comments and votes :) PLEASE DO NOT COPY any of the poetry or pictures.

Twisted Love by Lark_Den

[Started Writing : 3rd August, 2023] "What do you want from me Alex? I gave you what you wanted. Now what else do you want?" I whispered when he won't move his six feet tall body away from mine. The delicious and inebriating scent of Alex tingled my sense making me want to roll my eyes and get lost in him. But I can't hurt myself anymore. My eyes stared at his forest green eyes which was making me more weak emotionally and physically what I was already before. The famous sinister smile spread on his lips making me clenched my legs together. Even in this situation he is wetting my vagina in a sinister way. My heart was hammering in an insane way as if in some few moments I was going to have a heart attack. He pressed his hard muscular body against mine, dipping his head on my shoulder while sniffing my hair like some wild animal. "Yes my Anna, you did what I wanted but one thing is still left." His voice was smooth like butter but the sensation that he released with that husky tone could drive anyone crazy. "What?" I whispered, I was scared to even make a noise. "It's you Anna. It's you." Anastasia wants nothing but to get out of the hell hole called 'her life'. They say study hard and then you can earn money and have a good life. But despite having a degree in hands she was still jobless. When life was giving her bitter test then when a devil showed up at the door of her heart, dressed like an angel. The devil wants nothing but a favour from her while promising her everything she wants. Morally grey. That's the definition to construe Alex Vesper. Strict, rude, emotionless, focused and evil. He wants nothing but revenge from a certain someone who might have scratched his ego a little bit. And at that time Anastasia was the best option for him.

First Love, The Sinner & The Saint by LouLeigh481

Have you ever felt like life wasn't enough, like you were going through the motions day in, day out, all you wanted was a change. Well one day I woke up and made that change, I was no longer the well behaved boy that did as he was told, I was a new person and I wanted to do things my way. I wanted to do what made me feel alive, even if that was murder of innocent people, I wanted to grab someone and watch the life drain out of their faces, it pleased me.. it made me feel alive. This is my story of heartbreak and turmoil, friends lost and friends gained, families torn apart by my needs. This is my life, and I'm proud to be the man I am. Dated created 9th August 2020 Date completed 15th August 2020 Word count 50,000-60,000

Behind My Eyes. by AmberLarmer

come pick my mind and stay awhile, make yourself comfortable. it's awfully lonely in here. - inside this book, you'll find five distinct parts: simply me, which tells you almost everything you need to know about me. you, which tells you about my experience with love and the state of bliss it brings you. after you, which tells you about my experience with heartbreak and hate. nightmares, which is every scary thing that occurs in my mind and things that instill fear in those who read it. the book closes with recovery, where we explore self-confidence and self-discovery. these are the inner workings of my mind, i'm not going to sugar coat it for you: it's a sad, depressing place. this all comes from the pages of my journals so i'm sparing you the tear-stained pages, consider yourself lucky. hope you enjoy! - feel free to comment or message me :)

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Slide 1 of 10

Me Before YOU - BSD ✔ cover

Only For You cover

Don't Look Back cover

Love Comes Unexpected ✔ cover

The Sadistic Pair (Karma x Reader) - Discontinued cover

HER SAVIOR & HIS SENORITA (COMPLETED) cover

Wave (Book 2) cover

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First Love, The Sinner & The Saint cover

Behind My Eyes. cover

Me Before YOU - BSD ✔

[ COMPLETED ] "𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩, 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙞𝙢" Reminder: ⚠️ Various BSD x Male Reader/Executive Male Reader insert Angst + Romance 3/3 acts completed Started: 24/03/2022 Ended: 12/10/2022 Being his superior is truely making you tired He attempted to break free, but the fall was once again a never-ending loop. For the male, the pain was bearable, but for you, it was excruciating. But it wasn't your predicament that occurred; it was his. Dazai's circumstances has not yet devolved into hopelessness. He doubted about the height and the vulnerability of his physique before to the crash. He'd be still on the ground, surrounded by horrified citizens. Coughs of blood erupted when the horrors were committed. Even though you were there with your eyes open, all you could see was black. Your vision was unaffected. You were relieved that he was okay since his body sprang to its feet as if nothing had happened, but were you? Those dreadful memories flood your mind at random intervals, causing you to lose concentrate on the tasks you were given. You've become too soft, and you've taken on too much responsibility for yourself. Falling down when leaning against a wall. You tied your breathing while holding your head to your knees. You were known as the Port Mafia's key, the Port Mafia's answer, and the Port Mafia's power source. You, on the other hand, wanted the solution for yourself. Why can't you answer your own questions if you've answered queries from others honestly? You were curious as to why and how you had become so mentally weakened. #bsdangst 01/08/2023 #510 bsd 31/03/2022 #322 bsd 06/04/2022 #300 bsd 07/04/2022 #20 atsushinakajima 08/04/2022 #18 atsushinakajima 11/04/2022 #11 bsdxreader 07/05/2022 #36 armeddetectiveagency 08/08/2022 #51 bsd 11/08/2022