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TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death

idonotloveyouboo

Reads 93,876
Votes 3,421
Parts 31
Time 6h 59m

Reads 93,876
Votes 3,421
Parts 31
Time 6h 59m

idonotloveyouboo

404 avoiding beeduo brothers clementine clingy death dream duo iiloveyou method micheal phil ranboo sapnap sbi sprite subway sudden techno texttospeech tommyinnitinnits tubbo unbeatable wilbur öf

"I uh," Tommy starts, not knowing how to break this to the hero lightly. He hates to be the bearer of bad news. "I think your powers are broken? It's not a bad thing of course, but like, I swear you tried to mind control me and it like, totally failed. Which is fine, honestly, don't feel insecure. Everyone's power stop working sometimes... I think." 

Sheesh, this is very awkward. Why is no one else talking? Why is Philza looking at him like he grew three heads? Why is the Blade staring at him so intensely? Why is Willow still frozen?

"Did I, did I hit a nerve? Yikes," Tommy hisses, "Well um," He steps back, bracing his legs and bending his knees, "This was like super fun, but I'm - I'mma head out."

or,

in which Tommy manages to annoy the hell out of Phil, Techno and Wilbur by being both impossible to catch and irritatingly endearing.

or or,

a crack fic where Tommy is a vigilante and Phil, Techno and Wilbur are the heroes hunting him down.All Rights Reserved

404 avoiding beeduo brothers clementine clingy death dream duo iiloveyou method micheal phil ranboo sapnap sbi sprite subway sudden techno texttospeech tommyinnitinnits tubbo unbeatable wilbur öf

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Zᴏᴍʙɪᴇ | Uɴᴅᴇᴀᴅ!Tᴏᴍᴍʏɪɴɴɪᴛ AU by bigbahongaloos

A young blonde boy wakes up in the middle of the forest. He can't remember how he got there or much about himself either. His name is blank from his mind, and he can't even remember his family. His clothes are torn and dirty, and he wonders what happened. He's not hungry, but he wants a small snack, yet every apple tree and every berry bush he passes doesn't strike his fancy. He eventually makes it to a city. Large buildings are fallen over and the ones still standing have busted out windows and/or have smoke and fire coming from them. He can hear distant screams and yells and gunshots. There are people passing him that are strange. They're badly injured and walk slightly hunched over. Some are missing limbs, and some are missing and eye, or both. They don't even appear to be alive to the boy. They look his way but don't mind him. Tommy is confused and scared. He can slightly remember this place to be his once home, and it makes him upset that's it's gone to such shit, and scared by everyone's screams and the fires and the fighting, and mostly, the fact that some people are eating each other. And why are people running from the boy when they see him? ~~~ TW// Cussing Blood Gore Fighting/violence Cannibalism Guns Weapons Injuries etc... ~~~ Started: January 14, 2023 Finished: January 15, 2023

It's Okay, It's a Strategy (to ensure I remain) by careecentisbored

( One of the robbers rushed towards the two boys only to be stopped by a dart to the abdomen. He promptly collapsed and started writhing on the ground, shouting profanities. "What the hell- what the fuck are in those?" Torpedo stared at Tommy incredulously. "Ink." Tommy smiled. "Dude- that could kill someone-" "Oh. Oops." ) In which Tommy is a vigilante who works as a barista with his best friends, who aren't even aware of his secret hobby. Unbeknownst to Tommy, his friends have secrets as well. ‼️THIS IS ENTIRELY PLATONIC‼️

The Retired Anarchist - A Dream SMP Story by Totally_Blue

"Sometimes the solitary voice can be the best one." - Frank Miller. When the voices demand for blood, Techno is not far behind to deliver. Only now with his pride stripped and his family wishing he would drop dead, Techno finds himself wishing to be someone he's not. He isn't sure how long he can ignore the voices before the blood siren calls his name and he shatters completely. ! This book takes place in the DreamSMP with a SBI family dynamic head-canon ! !!! If you haven't watched the Dream SMP series and plan on watching it, do not read this book! There are massive spoilers ahead !!! *These chapters cover dark events and are rated mature, if you may be triggered by or simply do not want to read a book with the following warnings please do not read: TW: Blood, Extreme Gore, Suicide Attempts, Hearing Voices (mental illness), Death (animals and people), Weapons (knives, swords, axes, pickaxes, daggers, scissors), Implied Torture, Abandonment, Explosions, Killing, Abuse and Violence. #3 in sleepyboys - February 4, 2021

Slime-Cycle (Humble Beginnings) by shroom_mush_

In a world filled with superhumans, the powerless charlie cycle struggles to keep his life together. It only gets worse when on his way home hes pulled into a choke hold and shot. But instead of dying, his life was saved by the sentient living slime who holds a few.... secrets. When charlie finds out about said gooper, The slime gives the excuse that, they cant leave Charlie's body yet, since, he still isnt fully healed from the bullet wound. Being to tired to argue, he puts up with the slime for the next few months. In which time, the slime was able to convince him to go out for one night as a vigilante, just to try it :) unfortunately, that one night led to a run in with the most dangerous villains in the city, the syndicate. Causing him to get roped into the syndicates plan to take over the government. Although things only get worse when he finds out the syndicates number one target, is his childhood best friend jschlatt, who charlie lost contact with once he got into the presidency. Things only get worse and worse over time as he gets more and more involved with this anarchist scheme. Chaos ensues Along with....other, plots of revenge. (TW) -Death- -Blood- -extreme gore/mutilation- (very little) -suicide- (very little) -derealization- -dissociation- -murder- -alcohol- -manipulation- WORD COUNT: 203,836 Sunny Anderson school is credit to @memoryboy. including many aspects of this story that have been influenced and sometimes even copied from certian fics (though I try my best to make it original), such as Tommyinnits clinic for supervillians, Tommy's ultra important Keychain, and possibly a couple others that I can't remember. All these details have been improvised to fit the plot, and or, are relatively small such as; character names, character interactions, character aspects such as powers, some concepts for fights/battles that characters may get into. . . . #1 slimecicle jan. 18 2023 #9 superhero Aug. 28 2023 #1 slimecicle jul. 31 2024

'i don't have anywhere else to go.' - a sleepy boys inc story by farenh1te

"Tommy? What- it's 2 in the morning-" Phil is shaken from his half awake daze at the sight of Tommy, on his doorstep, looking like he's been through hell and back. "Hi. I-I don't have anywhere else to go. Can I stay-" Phil interrupts him with a soft, "Come in." started 17 jan 2021 finished 8 feb 2022 wow okay fuck wilbur soot i should have had worse things happen to him CW for swearing - no really there's a lot of swearing i'm warning you now TW for cutting/self harm, physical abuse, panic attacks, vomiting, ed, depression, anxiety, flashbacks, PTSD, nightmares, kidnapping, alcohol abuse, domestic abuse if i need to add any other tw's i will do so - if you want me to add any just ask and i will :) no romance, purely platonic family dynamic (some dreamnotfound but not shipping any of the main characters) THIS DOES NOT REFLECT THE IRL PEOPLE IN ANY WAY. if they are uncomfortable with this i will take it down immediately.

fatalism (allium duo) by cxtboy_

Book 1/5 --- ". . ." Time flew by faster than he had thought. "The more I trust, the less I see. The less I see, the more I trust." A quote that's been uttered in the back of Tommy's mind whilst hanging out with a certain enderman hybrid, he wondered what would go wrong. Nothing. Or at least that's what he had thought at that very moment. He'd never knew that he'd see the day where everything went downhill in a snap of his own fingers. --- DISCLAIMER : this is not meant to be skewed into any sort of shipping. this is all platonic. i will strictly not associate with any reading list that implies that this is anything but that. please do not forget where both ranboo and tommy's boundaries are placed and poppytwt please gtfo. thank you. --- this fanfic can be abbreviated to FL (for example: fl!tommy , fl!ranboo , fl!tubbo , etc.) --- tag places: #1 in angstfic - 3.5.22 #28 in alliumduo - 3.9.22 #1 in angstwithbadending - 4.25.22 #1 in dreamsmpangst - 10.29.22

Benchtrio's Amazing Guide to City Living | Ft. The Hermits & SBI by MurtoK

Grian always bursts into their little, cozy attic right before things can go terribly wrong. Like that one time Ranboo had wanted to cook dinner. Tommy is pretty sure Grian had been asleep at the time of the occasion, judging by how messed up his blond hair was, yet he ran up two floors -four sets of stairs, fifteen steps each- and then burst through the door with a shout of "NO, DON'T DO IT!!!". It had been an eventful night that one, ending with a scolding and a very much grounded Ranboo. Which is weird, because Grian isn't Ranboo's parent, he is just their neighbor. And, at this point, it's just the norm for Grian to know what they are up to. The trio's theory is that the avian has a sixth sense or something. "Oh, hey Tommy and Tubbo!" Grian greets as he bends to pick up the fallen, heavy-looking boxes. "You're looking chipper today. Work went well, I'm guessing?" "Oh, Hell yeah! We mugged a guy!" "You did what-" Or: In which fic we explore the way Benchtrio can bring death and destruction to an innocent city, cause chaos and endear themselves to heroes and villains alike. Very fluffy, very crack-y. Or, or: In which Tommy is a raccoon, Tubbo is a bee and Ranboo is a very exhausted enderman --------------------- Inspired by teacupi's "TommyInnit's Guide To Being A (Highly Successful) Wingman" on ao3! (Seriously, if you haven't read that already, go check it out!)

ᗯᗴ ᑕOᗰᗴ Iᑎ ᑭᗴᗩᑕᗴ ༆ ᗩᒪᒪIᑌᗰ ᗪᑌO ᗩᒪIᗴᑎ ᗩᑌ by bigbahongaloos

𝙱𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙...𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙴𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙵𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚞𝚛𝚎...𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙴𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙵𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚞𝚛𝚎... 𝙱𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚙... The brothers clung to each other in fright as their father desperately tried to get their UFO stabilized. As if the constant beeping of the alarm and 'Warning: Engine Failure' didn't scare the boys enough, they both knew they were going to die. It was sad, really. A 13 and 15 year old positive they weren't going to live another five minutes. "╎ ↸𝙹リ'ℸ ̣ ∴ᔑリリᔑ ↸╎ᒷ, ʖ𝙹𝙹!" The blonde haired boy cried onto his older brothers shoulder. "⍑𝙹ꖎ↸ 𝙹リ, ʖ𝙹||ᓭ!" Their father yelled. Then everything went quiet. There was a ringing in the two boys' ears. Everything was blurry. We're they dead? We're they going to die? Where are they? Why was everything so...numb..? ~~~ SOOOOOO... new story!!! This is an Allium Duo Alien AU if you couldn't already tell. Even though it's Allium Duo, it's mostly Ranboo's POV. Sorry, I can't help it. I love Ranboo! This is NOT A SHIP!!!!!!!! I personally think that Tommy x Ranboo is a strange ship since they're just friends. And if I'm not mistaken, Tommy has asked to not be shipped with anyone. (Idk about Ranboo though) As you can tell by the two sentences in the description, some of this will be written in Enchantment Table language since you know...Aliens and stuff...BUT- I will be translating everything for you so don't worry! ~~~ TW: Cussing Death Crashes Injuries Blood Attempted su!c!ce Torture Angst etc... (TW's will be above chapters) ~~~ Started: September 5th, 2022 Put on hold: September 6th, 2022 (I was making other stories [and mental health was being an ass])

Evil always Smiles by writer0com

Dream pulls strings and his plan goes ahead, always leading with a smile. What's smiling without pain anyways? Dream never got tired of it. Tommy was always sad, Dream would make him smile too. *not cannon to dsmp Also everything is Platonic/ definitely NOT romantic or sexual. Please do not ship them, especially minors and adults that's disgusting. This fic is old and cringe and weird so read at own risk, also HEAVILY INSPIRED/ ripping off Mask by Kenji_Arts on AO3, I've grown past this, but I'm keeping this fic up for old times sakes, it was my first ever fic, but no... it's not good.

Loving You is a crime by Le2zel

Someone's been going around killing off random people, the murders are much to clean to be done by any random wanna-be serial killer, so a special force of highly trained professionals are assigned to take on the job. In hopes of catching the elusive killer they ask their top agent Dream to assist on the case. This is a Dreamnotfound fanfic don't like it don't read it *I have no idea how crime investigations really work, most of my knowledge is gleaned off movies. Trigger warnings There is gonna be some violence and death, but nothing gruesome (If I miss any triggers be free to point it out)

In Times of War by Ijustwantedcheese

Tommy's home is one of the many casualties of this ongoing war he knows nothing about. This not pog to say the least. But as least he can do whatever he wants being one of the only survivors and all right? Wrong! But hey now it's his job to figure out what the heck is going on and find someone who can help him. Luckily for him he finds some information that could lead him to getting help and finally escaping this nightmare of a place. These unsuspecting victims.... I mean people will now have no choice but to love Tommy and protect him in anyway they can. (Also on ao3) (this is literally my worst fic so I would recommend reading any of my other ones instead lol)

$I'd call a cab. {a vigilante tommyinnit story} by _infatuated$

❗️marked mature for violence❗️ Running along roof tops, avoiding the hero trilogy and beating the shit out of some bad guys? Tommy Theseus Innit was living the life, and his partner in crime, Bombshell, would have to agree. Wilbur, Technoblade and Phil however were puzzled on how these seemingly inexperienced vigilantes kept escaping; and it has gotten to the point where they would do *anything* to get these two thorns out of their sides. But what happens if one catastrophically timed scream unravels a web of secrets and Tommy finds himself at the centre of all of it? And A dangerous villain emerges, his only goal being revenge on the heros. When the vigilante duo refuse to join him, despite their own hatred to hero's, they become a secondary target.

I go La La, Lalalala La! (Tommyinnit Au) by Flareongirl360

(I guess?? Basically if Tommy never betrayed Technoblade. Basically inspired by a lot of stories similar to this. Anyway here's the actual description below ⬇️) Exile. One of the worst things that happened to Tommy and believe me, loads of bad things has happened to him. But being stuck in a single place, far away from his friends and family and with a blob that has taken two of his canon lives and who may have plans of his own, has to be up there in Tommy's list of Worse Things that Has Happened to Me. So he ran away. Whether he snuck into Technoblade's house was intentional or not is honestly up in the air to debate. But when it came to it, Tommy had two choices. To stay with his supposed elder brother who is not dead or go back to the people who turned their backs on him. He picked the first choice. Now Tommy has to live with the fact that he and Tubbo may not be able to repair their friendship and that the country that he helped build is basically f*cked! But that is not the end of the story. I'm not about to spoil the entire plot in one description. Read to find what happens! (Yes I'm doing one of these fics. Sue me or whatever but they seem fun to write so ya know!)

Hunted||MCYT Fantasy AU||Platonic Ships by Auiak_BW

I am only writing this for fun. Mostly platonic shipping. Keep in mind the people that are shipped in this fanfic are ok with shipping. If any ships in this fanfic make a mcyt uncomfortable I will take it down immediately. (Also, if you really hate shipping real people that much, then just don't read it, simple) Mostly just drama and storyline instead of shipping. Criticism is welcomed. Tell me any mistakes I made. The art in this fanfic aren't mine, they belong to their rightful owners. Non-humans are being hunted all across the kingdom. Non-humans include hybrids and people with powers. Everyone calls them monsters and want them gone, and so hunters exist. Humans are afraid of non-humans for their powers. Ships included in the series (All platonic): Skephalo Dreamnap (I used to ship Dreamnotfound but nahhh it's way too overrated) No shipping minors. The minors all have platonic but really close relationships full of fluff. 🥺 Techno shall be asexual in this fanfic just because. There will be Technoblade superiority. I also believe in Puffy and BBH superiority. 😌 TW//Not very graphic described blood + violence, yelling, sharp breaths CW//Angst, mild cussing, weapons

passerine by thcscus

"I understand. You heard the place you loved was in trouble, so you came back, but I don't-I just-why didn't you take me?" Here it was, at last. Catharsis, or something close to it. "I would have hunted them down with you, Philza, the people who did that to your town. I would have given you your vengeance on a silver platter. I would have given you the world." Philza didn't look guilty. He just looked tired. "I didn't hunt them down, though." // Or, that fic where Techno and Phil are old immortals, and Tommy and Wilbur are decidedly... not. Angst ensues. //

To be at Peace...(discontinued) by ShatteredFable

Yea it's a Vigilante Tommy fanfic- but this one's a bit different...voices...death...>&@%@(#! Right I can't say that one. Because...It would just ruin all the fun.... [Discontinued due to complicated reasons and no motivation] [New cover done by me...those who wish to figure out what was going to happen can figure out by the cover...]

Duchenne (DSMP Superhero AU) by ArtyNicotine

Warning: If you comment anything, some characters may hear you. (Techno, Dream, One person will be heard by Wilbur, Phil, ect) "It's okay mate, Dream can't hurt you." The boy lowered his knife, tilting his head. A taunting gesture that Dream commonly used. "Did you catch him?" Thanatos looked away and Seiren busied himself with his hair. Icarus glared at both before turning back to the masked boy. "No... he got away." The masked boy's head tilted down. Thanatos and Seiren readied themselves to hear regret and terror, just like everyone else they freed from Dream's grasp. Instead, the boy let out a sinister chuckle. "Good." AKA Dream being a terrible person and SBI being decent human beings. ALSO! I will be putting this on AO3 around about March so if you see that it's not someone copying this, just me wanting to put this on a platform more people will read it on.

𝚁𝚊𝚗𝚋𝚘𝚘'𝚜 𝙻𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚂𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 by VansInnit

[COMPLETED] All his life, Ranboo hid the existence of his little sister for her protection. They've been through a ton of family trauma and they will not risk having any sign of it on social media. What happens when his little sister runs into his room unaware that Ranboo was on stream and in a call? How does he explain himself? This is NOT an 'x reader' story. This story does NOT involve romantic relationships and DOES NOT INCLUDE SMUT. This story does have some fluff but also angst, so read the beginning of every chapter for potential trigger warnings! Started writing: 10th July 2022 10K reads: 17th October 2022 Finished writing: 30th December 2022 20K reads: 30th January 2023 30K reads: 6th October 2023 40K reads: 2nd August 2024 :) Highest ranks: #1 - ranbooangst #1 - benchtrio #1 - ranboolive #1 - hallucination #2 - tommy #2 - tomsimons #3 - panic #4 - tubbolive #8 - dsmp #8 - philza #9 - wilbur #10 - sbi (my fourth book)

Ironvine by BlueeFlower

"I stole your brother's crown," Tommy spat, his breath ragged. "I tried to steal your mother's necklace. I cursed you out. I ran away-over and over again." His voice cracked, frustration spilling into something almost desperate. "So why the hell would you fucking care?" Technoblade tilted his head, considering. Silence stretched between them. Then, with the certainty of someone stating a fact as simple as the sky being blue, he answered. "You shine like the sun." Tommy blinked. He let out a short, incredulous laugh-half-broken, half-breathless. "I'm literally the worst fucking person you could pick to care about." "And yet, I do." OR Tommy is the lost prince, kidnapped at 5 and left at 10. But he's a menace and decides it's a smart idea to steal a crown from the royal family. -- This fanfic is also out on AO3!! (https://archiveofourown.org/works/61201051/chapters/156396613 ;under the name Bluee_Flowerr)

Feels like Home || SBI by BumbliestofBees

Tommy Henry was anything but normal. Rude, obnoxious, loud and most importantly; lonely. No one wanted him, and he didn't want them. When Phil Watson catches word of a certain blondes predicament, he takes it upon himself to foster the boy. Tommy's world changes, for the better or for the worst? Well that's up to the Gremlin to decide "Welcome Home Tommy" ------------------------------ // THIS STORY USES TW SUCH AS EATING DISORDERS, PANIC ATTACKS, ABUSE, DRUG AND ALCOHOL ABUSE, VIOLENCE , DEATH AND MENTIONS OF SUICIDE // // If Tommy, Phil, Techno, Will or anyone in this story shows any discomfort to this, I will take it down // Started: 20/02/21 Finished: 28/08/21 Word Count: 57, 737 ------------------ #1 in Ph1lzaminecraft #8 in Sleepyboisinc #12 in Ph1lza #1 in sleepyboysinc #1 in Dreamnotfound #1 in Ranboolive #1 in Jack Manifold #3 in Awesamdude #6 in Ranboo #1 in Sleepybois #10 in Karl Jacobs #9 in SBI #1 in FoolishGamers

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fatalism (allium duo) cover

Benchtrio's Amazing Guide to City Living | Ft. The Hermits & SBI cover

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Evil always Smiles cover

Loving You is a crime cover

In Times of War cover

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Hunted||MCYT Fantasy AU||Platonic Ships cover

passerine cover

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𝚁𝚊𝚗𝚋𝚘𝚘'𝚜 𝙻𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚂𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 cover

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Zᴏᴍʙɪᴇ | Uɴᴅᴇᴀᴅ!Tᴏᴍᴍʏɪɴɴɪᴛ AU

A young blonde boy wakes up in the middle of the forest. He can't remember how he got there or much about himself either. His name is blank from his mind, and he can't even remember his family. His clothes are torn and dirty, and he wonders what happened. He's not hungry, but he wants a small snack, yet every apple tree and every berry bush he passes doesn't strike his fancy. He eventually makes it to a city. Large buildings are fallen over and the ones still standing have busted out windows and/or have smoke and fire coming from them. He can hear distant screams and yells and gunshots. There are people passing him that are strange. They're badly injured and walk slightly hunched over. Some are missing limbs, and some are missing and eye, or both. They don't even appear to be alive to the boy. They look his way but don't mind him. Tommy is confused and scared. He can slightly remember this place to be his once home, and it makes him upset that's it's gone to such shit, and scared by everyone's screams and the fires and the fighting, and mostly, the fact that some people are eating each other. And why are people running from the boy when they see him? ~ TW// Cussing Blood Gore Fighting/violence Cannibalism Guns Weapons Injuries etc... ~ Started: January 14, 2023 Finished: January 15, 2023