Please don't execute me your majesty, but your and crusty's phone sex has traumatized me, so I turned it into a wattpad fanfic...
Awards:
1st in #liztruss
1st in #borisjohnson
4th in #tampons
6th in #kingcharles
credits to spending-words on tumblr :)
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must be following me 'cause of privacy thing on wattpad was on when I published :( sorry for any inconvenience.